|Reviews for Take Care Of Yourself|
| guest chapter 10 . 5/24/2013
you should write more soon. that story is great its so funny
| Insane Psycho chapter 10 . 5/5/2013
Please update soon
| Brenden chapter 10 . 4/24/2013
| lipasnape chapter 10 . 3/25/2013
Fine. What happened? Any chance of seeing this story develop further? Thank you.
| crlor chapter 9 . 3/24/2013
"Fluffybits"...Absolutely and irresistibley my favorite ...Great story...
| lipasnape chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
'All good except having Albus in any capacity in the house. Or life.
| Crystal M. Key chapter 10 . 3/11/2013
Very amusing! And the cinnemon-scone pun was just brilliant. Thanks! Favorite quotes:
"You should be preparing for when Sirius gets out," she said.
"Hmmm, I suppose you're right." Harry sipped thoughtfully at the broken pottery lip of the bottle. "This is the opportunity of a lifetime. I have two decades of future knowledge, an infant version of myself, access to the man's home and he should be a bit disjointed from reality after a year in Azkaban. I'm going to need the mother of all pranks to make the most of these resources. Ideas?"
He had decided to go for 'garish Gryffindor', thinking it would make a nice change from the current decorations in 'subdued Slytherin', all dark snakes and silver fittings. Sirius could change it to whatever he thought was appropriate, once he was in his right mind.
Harry paused to paint golden zigzags on the skirting board with a flick of his wand. He liked to think he was opening up whole new realms of tastelessness, ripe for architectural exploration.
Well, that certainly explained the beartraps. Harry's initial exploration had turned up quite a few of them, steel jaws set, under beds or on chairs. He'd questioned Kreacher about them, but got nothing more than incoherent mumbling about family tradition and filthy muggles. In the end the elf had loped off to spring the vicious serrated traps and bundle them away somewhere.
"Uh, what else... The Order of the Phoenix, Fenrir Greyback, 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good', and Sirius' drunken confession about the hedgehog."
Lupin's face had become paler and paler, and his wand drooped lower and lower, and finally he sat heavily back on the chair. "Nobody else knows about the hedgehog. As far as I know, he didn't even tell James."
He found the pumpkin he had stolen earlier, and grabbed the custard power, the noodles and the last quarter-tin of baby food.
Harry didn't know how to cook per se, and he didn't know what was meant to go into a two-year-old's diet. But he probably couldn't go far wrong as long as he ate everything that Young Harry did.
"Anyone can imitate Parseltongue by hissing?"
"Sure, anyone," Harry slurred, nodding brightly. "You try."
After a moment of trying to make his tongue move properly, Moony ventured a hiss.
"Good first go. You said, 'I'm attracted to hairy women in clown outfits'."
As they stumbled out onto the landing, Remus started to speak again, but Harry cut him off. "Full moon was a week ago, right? We'll talk to Sirius about it before it comes up again. We're going to break into St Mungo's and visit him in the next few days."
"I'm fairly sure that's going to be impossible now."
Harry grinned, and pushed Lupin in the direction of a recently-cleaned bedroom. He opened the door of Young Harry's room to check on his inner child, and asked, "Want to bet?"
Remus sighed, and rubbed at his eyes. "This time-travelling stuff... I can register it on a conscious level, but it's hard to really get to grips with. I didn't exactly sleep well," he admitted.
Harry looked sheepish. "Oh... I've been addicted to dreamless sleep potion for four years now. I brew it myself, and don't even try to sleep without it. I'm sorry, I should have thought to offer you..."
The long silence was broken by a voice croaking, "Kreacher has finished peeling the fruit. Will new master come today, to throw the half-breeds and bossy paintings from this most worthy of houses?"
Remus picked up the twitching copper butterfly gingerly with his gloved hand, and flared his nostrils. "Could be malaclaw venom. Is foreknowledgeable a word?"
Harry whistled appreciatively. "Malaclaw venom is worth twice its weight in gold, according to my Snaperies. Bottle it."
"And the insect?" Remus blinked. "Snaperies?"
"Just melt it into slag. Yeah, the good thing about Hermione being two-dee is she can't hit me when I make up words any more."
"I'm not sure about this," Remus said.
"Come on, Moony. For Young Harry's sake. Otherwise he'll be found and returned to a lifetime of misery and neglect under the Dursleys. You don't want that, do you?"
"Come on. Do it for James, too. He's probably looking down at you right now, saying, I know my friend Moony will do what's right for my son."
"The bit I wasn't sure about was helping you attack Ministry officials."
"Oh. Well, you don't need to attack them, just divert them."
"Fine. Also, thanks for that little bit of emotional blackmail. That was, you know, completely fair."
"Initial all the dotted lines, then sign in full on the last page. Um. Sorry, Moony wanted to be here now that you're awake, but I needed him to be a distraction, so he's running around in a dress. I gave him some firecrackers but he said he had some ideas of his own."
Sirius stopped his curious examination of the ballpoint and peered at Harry. "Are you sure you're not James?"
"And... Moony doesn't-" Sirius stopped and rubbed his eyes again. "Moony doesn't hate me?" The pen scratched across the page.
"I told you, we know you were framed. Merlin's third nipple, Padfoot, are you paying attention at all? Anyone would think you'd been in a magical coma for the last week."
Harry noted Sirius' look of confusion. "Don't worry about it, it'll all become clear. Long story short, me and Moony are pranking the Ministry to get a hold of you and Harry."
He smiled back at the bedridden man's sudden grin of understanding.
"Listen," he continued, "now that you're awake, they'll probably ask a lot of questions. Pretend you didn't see anyone. We'll come and get you soon."
When the doors blew inwards thirty seconds later, Sirius was pretending to be asleep and Harry was already gone.
"Finite." Remus waved his wand over the vibrant green gown, and Harry's transfiguration spell faded, leaving his regular grey clothes.
"Moony in a dress," Young Harry burbled.
"Moony was in a dress," Lupin sighed. "Sadly, not for the first time, but hopefully for the last."
"We're here to bring you home, Sirius, unless you're having too much fun watching the nurses come and go."
"They're all old and gnarly," Sirius said, eyes a little wild. "Old nurses! They never tell you about those before you go and land yourself in Hospital. They could halve their intake!"
"I suppose they can't afford to lose the business."
"Valuable, non-dark books can be sold, but anything with curses on it or which you wouldn't want in Death Eater hands will have to be b- b-"
"Burned," Harry supplied.
Hermione winced. "Yes. That."
There was a crack, and the house elf appeared, immediately flinging a double handful of vibrant green mould slime at the new Lord Black.
"Protego. Damnit, I was sure we got rid of all of that. Kreacher, are you growing it somewhere?"
The elderly house elf wrinkled his nose at Harry, who cautiously dropped the magical shield. "No. It grows itself above the eaves of the roof, it does. Kreacher just scoops it up to throw at ugly smelly bad Masters."
"Why would you think I care?" the dark-haired man sulked.
"Because you had an hour-long tantrum when you were mooching off James' parents and they threw out your dead pot plant without asking?"
Padfoot looked scandalised. "That wasn't just a pot plant, that was Eric. Eric was special."
"Eric was dead."
"Fine, fine. I'll stay." Sirius glanced past Remus at the stairs. "I'm going to put in a slide, though."
"Brilliant," Harry breathed, eyes lighting up.
Sirius frowned. "Why 'March'?"
"As in, 'Mad as a March Hare'."
Remus glanced up at the clock. "Seven hours. You'll need to go in exactly two minute and twenty-two seconds."
"Why not a full eight? These things can all go to a maximum of eight hours back in time. You could have let me sleep another hour. My magic still feels all loose and woolly. Speaking of sleep, who's that?"
Jack pointed to the copy of himself who lay unconscious on the sofa opposite, underneath the windows.
"Oh, I see. The me who's been giving all these orders, then?"
Remus winced. "No. Come on, follow me, you have to be back in the garden."
"Ah." Jack fumbled out his time-turner as they hurried down the stairs. "Timey-wimey stuff?"
"Timey-wimey stuff. By the way, do you have any idea why Sirius is upset with me for calling him a blast-ended screwball? I don't have any idea what that is, and I've certainly never called him one."
"No clue. Elaborate meta-joke? Dementia? I just hope it isn't timey-wimey stuff. Hey, look, the Fidelius Charm is done. Who did that?" Jack frowned at the powerful charm he could faintly detect around the property.
Remus gave him a pointed look.
Jack looked down at his watch wearily. "So I'll have to go back once more to pick that up again and give to you, and pretend to be the other me that doesn't get knocked out, and hide from him. And that will put me the earliest in my timeline I've been, and then I'll be the me that doesn't cast the charm or brew the potions, but just hides somewhere until this is all over.."
Jack and Remus looked at each other. "...I hate closed-loop time travel," they chorused.
| Susan M. M chapter 10 . 2/23/2013
In the immortal words of Miles O'Brien, I HATE temporal mechanics.
| Susan M. M chapter 8 . 2/23/2013
Healers vs Hungarian horntails and he who is without cinnamon throwing the first scone!
| To die upon a kiss chapter 10 . 2/2/2013
Yes, hell yes! I love this! Please update.
| To die upon a kiss chapter 6 . 2/2/2013
Awwww. I wish you'd update! I always loved this story!
| repeat16 chapter 10 . 1/24/2013
Dude, a time travel story where it's not all doom and gloom? Awesome, can't wait to see what happens next.
| Gioia chapter 10 . 11/29/2012
"Severus' incandescent fury over that embarassing incident at the staff table..."
Oh my gawd. *Begins laughing*
"...an automatic unpacking charm..."
And "incandescent." Perfect word for that moment. Dumbledoreish and UTTERLY descriptive. Perfect.
HAHAHA! Thank you for this excellent story and the man, many, MANY times you've made laugh just as hard as I did on that last anecdote.
| Accidental Child chapter 10 . 11/29/2012
I hope that you update soon! This story is brilliant, makes me laugh, and is going to be shared with all of my friends, whether they want it or not. CX
| OrionRedde chapter 4 . 11/5/2012
A zombie apacolypse.
A ZOMBIE apacolypse.
I LOVE YOU.