Reviews for P3P Where No Persona Has Gone Before
AngelicTrinity chapter 1 . 2/8
Please tell me you plan on continuing this. You can't just end it on a cliffhanger where Hayase plans on raping her.

And who is that person coming to her rescue? They better give Hayase a sound beating for that cheap trick he pulled on Minako!
titan.p.medusawitch chapter 1 . 8/28/2013
Theo and Ryoji W Love both of them
Guest chapter 3 . 1/10/2013
I didn't expect the crossover concept to work, but you surprised me in a good way. Plus, this chapter got me curious about one thing. What would have happened if instead of the Trek verse, it was the Halo timeline? How would the great seal hold up against the horrors of the Human-Covenant War (plus The Flood)?
Yeah chapter 7 . 1/4/2013
Eeeeeeh! I love this fanfic! Please continue to write more! 3 :D
Androgynous-Heron chapter 13 . 6/2/2012
poor her.
agedashi chapter 1 . 3/3/2012
Interesting premise. Yes, a lot of the post-Seal fanfics are more or less the same. Glad to see some variety.
DragonDamsel chapter 10 . 1/26/2012
I guess it's about time I give you some feedback. First of all, I like this concept. It's original and while I find it hard to remember all of your OC, none of them are god awful Mary Sue.

Things are looking good so far, the only thing that worried me though is whether this story has a plot or not. Without a plot, a story couldn't really go on for long. Are the chapters so far results of a spur of the moment thing?

I think I understand what you mean with the fight scene. While it's not bad as it is, there is little to no emotions in the writing. In general, fight scenes are expected to be exciting. Since this is a curb-stomp battle, making this exciting in the traditional sense is difficult. Still there should be more emotions involved. Since not every move is important in this fight, (we all know that jerkass doesn't have a chance against Minako) try to shift the focus to the emotions.

Elaborate more on either side's reaction to show their state of mind. Show the ugly feelings Minako feel during the fight. More on her thoughts and motivation during the fight. Maybe in the beginning all she think about is defending her family honor and she only feel indignant. Later, her focus could shift to straight out 'I'm going to kick your ass for your attitude' along with some 'this is getting out of hand'.

Now's for pure biased, opinionated reaction. I understand why Minako feel the way she does. That doesn't stop me from feeling that it's all so ridiculous (Minako's thoughts not your writing). So she's no longer the innocent cheerful girl, huh? Like that matter. People grow up. She's darker and edgier but with what she has seen and experienced that's not a big surprise. In fact, that just goes to show that she is human and is capable of growth. Maturity is bittersweet.
irfane chapter 9 . 12/8/2011
This is an interesting take on the after story. Well written, engaging, I could add more buzzwords ;-)

I like how it goes, anyway.
Androgynous-Heron chapter 8 . 11/5/2011
SO the cross over thing is just the background, since this is just a persona story only the year is related to the cross over of... I forgot what its name.

Good job anyway, I'm a chidori/Iori fan!
His-Kira chapter 1 . 8/12/2011
I loved it. :) A breath of fresh air when it comes to authors here. I shall continue reading!
Harmoniche chapter 5 . 7/26/2011
Firstly, I am confused as to whether Ryoji's and Minako's relationship will remain strictly platonic or not despite chapter 3's message. Please clear this up, (whether they will have a romantic relationship or not, as it's confusing to see this when I search for love stories wih these two. Maybe just with female prot. Instead of femc and Ryoji). I like this story and will keenp up with it as it is not badly written and quite interesting-however... It can be very confusion situation-wise and hard to follow what you're trying to say or doing. Your writing can be very repetitive with description often using he same word over and over within one paragraph. I find that you also have the tendency to skip over connecting words and use incorrect pronouns. I shall continue to read this, but please take more care in editing next time. Good luck and good job.
Harmoniche chapter 5 . 7/26/2011
Firstly, I am confused as to whether Ryoji's and Minako's relationship will remain strictly platonic or not despite chapter 3's message. Please clear this up, (whether they will have a romantic relationship or not, as it's confusing to see this when I search for love stories wih these two. Maybe just with female prot. Instead of femc and Ryoji). I like this story and will keenp up with it as it is not badly written and quite interesting-however... It can be very confusion situation-wise and hard to follow what you're trying to say or doing. Your writing can be very repetitive with description often using he same word over and over within one paragraph. I find that you also have the tendency to skip over connecting words and use incorrect pronouns. I shall continue to read this, but please take more care in editing next time. Good luck and good job.
Mordred LeFay chapter 2 . 7/9/2011
Nice reunion scene. One thing I would try to work on is your dialogue. It's a little too expository and the characters don't really seem to talk the way people do. It's one of those things that every writer trips up at first but improves with practice. I'd suggest listening to how people talk to each other (in person or in TV/movies... well-written ones, that is, or it won't be any help ;) ). Reading other stories/books and paying attention to the dialogue will help too. That way it will be more natural and interesting instead of sounding like the narrator is just speaking through the characters.

My professors always said to find ways to slip information in "sideways." When you read, take note of the ways authors tell information without telling it directly. Using these methods will get all the same information across without the characters directly stating it.

I hope this helps!
Green Sprout chapter 4 . 6/27/2011
This is the weirdest combination ever. Seriously I am mind blown. But I'm watching this to see how this plays out. It's even funnier that Ryoji and CO is also involved...
Shiroi Iyasu chapter 3 . 5/11/2011
I wonder what will happen next. I really enjoyed this fic so far! :D
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