Reviews for Deceit
Le Roi des Ombres chapter 1 . 10/23/2011
This is a excellent story !

I liked a lot Darken half-lies/Half trues. Jensenn in a vulnerable psychological state is an easy target to Rahl manipulation. Especially since her encounter with Richard ans Zed is recent and she havent had the time to learn to trust them ( and zed should have know that Denna was lying abouit being able to ressurect Jensenn mother ).

I hope that you will wright a sequel of this oneshot, in fact it have a great potentiel for a multi chpater fic !

I could see Darken "explain" and rationalise why he is so hard against the resistance, that his final goal is peace, and that before him the middleland was a bunch of small fiefdom that were regulary fighting each other so no a "peacefull" country and that in final to conquer them will bring peace.

He could also say that the true reason that the confessor are against him is because he take their power to rule the midlland away ( and point that there are not nice people but escavagist who take the freedom of whoever is against them, like "innocent d'haran soldier, or don't obey them ).

I could see Darken slowly push Jensenn one his side. She is a naive girl broken by her mother death, the truth of her origine ( identity crisis ) and Denna action ( and also the seeker who "let that happen" and zed who are more interested in their quest that what happen to her ) who can be remolded(?) at Darken image.

Another thing would be to "give" her mord'sith bodygard to "prove" her that the sister of the agiel aren't all traitorus bitch like denna ( and if Darken is smart he will order them to slowly seduce jensenn, it's better if she is in love with a mord'sith totaly loyal to him that she fall for an ambitious noble or someome that isn't trustworthy )

In fact a kinky pairing will be Darken/Jensenn/several mord'sith ( like Cara and dalhia ).

With this scene as a start for a story their will be a great difference in the story because Darken still have two orden box and a new weapon : someone that is immune to Zed's magic and Khalan confession ... and perhaps immune to the "magic" of the prophecie ...a powerfull weapon for Rahl to defy fate.

I hope to read more of your futur story, and that one will continue this fic.

A french reader.
vote for LOTS chapter 1 . 6/17/2011
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Pip chapter 1 . 4/13/2011
The only thing wrong with this fic is that its complete! I want to know what happens next!
brontefanatic chapter 1 . 3/16/2011
I love this! Great AU fic.

Your Darken is very in-character and I like the way you write his interaction with Jennsen. There are so many layers to his thinking that even he is not sure where the lie ends and the truth begins.

Also like his reflections about Denna. He under-estimated her -never understanding that she could think independently or have ambitions of her own.