|Reviews for the first day of the rest of your life|
| DGfleetfox chapter 1 . 6/4/2013
I love time travel plus unexpected pairings, and it's even cooler with the Next Generation involved. If you know of any ones like that point them my way please :) Enjoyed reading.
| Gamma Orionis chapter 1 . 7/5/2012
Wow, this is definitely an interesting pairing, and I'd love to see more of it - but your notes said not to just leave comments about the pairing, so I'll shut up about it ;)
I've read a variety of different time-travel stories, and it's not generally a trope that I'm wildly fond of - especially where it involves next-gen characters, if I'm honest - but I liked that the focus of this story was really on the characters and the relationships that would be built between them, instead of on the actual going-back-in-time plot. The "present day" was more of a framing device than an aspect of the story, which I liked, because stories that focus on the going-back-in-time itself inevitably form giant plot holes for themselves x)
Grammar-wise: after dialogue, if you add "he/she said", then "he" or "she" doesn't need to be capitalized. For example you wrote:
"Kissing you," He says
The correct capitalization would be:
"Kissing you," he says
Pretty simple, common little error :)
The other thing I felt was that, at times, Dominique seemed a bit... bland. I would have liked more development of her character, because throughout the story, it was almost like... oh dear, how to explain this... things were happening to her, but what she did or said was just a reaction to those things. She didn't seem to /do/ a whole lot on her own, which made her a tiny bit boring. That said, the situations she were in were, on the whole, interesting enough to carry me through the story.
On the whole, I think you did a pretty good job of working with this pairing and plotline, and your writing was very strong and concise, making it easy and enjoyable to read.
| malfoyforever chapter 1 . 9/6/2011
This is really good! :)
1) Love your Slytherin Dominique.
2) Sirius is awesome here - especially the argument with Moony.
3) Handsome Boy and those random nicknames are perfect.
4) I like the idea of the spilling potion.
Adding to favourites :)
| RissaPotterMcAbbyAddict chapter 1 . 8/8/2011
Interesting story. I won't comment on the pairing. However, I thought your interpretation of Sirius was off. I'm sorry! I don't believe that he would honestly be that clueless and stupid! Only real comment, but sorry!
| QueenKira chapter 1 . 4/5/2011
Oh My God! That was amazing; you had me crying at the end :)
| billyvmom chapter 1 . 4/2/2011
I love that Dominique was a Slytherin. There is so many points I want to include so I will number them.
1. You made the time travel thing work and not be cheesy.
2. McGonaggal would have never allowed a stranger around the students. Without some serious interrogation.
3. I love how she faded away it was quite romantic.
4. Your depiction of the Marauders was spot on.
5. I also love how she didn't go running back and blab everything she seen to anyone who would listen.
6. I don't know why you were nervous about posting this you are amazing and should be proud of your work.
| opaque-girl chapter 1 . 4/2/2011
*Feels like crying*
The cruelest thing ff authors do is build the hope for the pairing and then crush it - this was unbelievably vivid and interesting and I must say, after reading this, that Sirius and Dominique belong together :(
| BlueEyes444 chapter 1 . 3/17/2011
Wow. This was one of my favorite cross gens. It was genius! :D I adore Sirius and I adore Dom and awww...perfect! :D
| iamaflawlesshumanbeing chapter 1 . 3/17/2011
Mad, I don't know why you're nervous! This is brilliant.
Where did you get the idea for SiriusDom?
I think Sirius' reaction was a bit unrealistic but apart from that it was fab! :)
| gecko brothers chapter 1 . 3/17/2011
I'm a fan of wierd pairings so naturally I love this pairing. Considering that this is your first cross-gen you did pretty well.
The way she came out with the Time Traveling and Sirius' reactions didn't seem realistic. Sorry. But it's better then what I would have done. I don't do Time Travel because I would ruin the whole fic but your fic bounced back.
You added Severus which I love. [I'm a fan of his.] And the last few lines were beautiful. You shouldn't have been nervous because you did a wonderful job!