Reviews for Dark Nativity
The Exile chapter 1 . 1/3/2013
I enjoyed reading this. I thought it succeeded at explaining a part of the plot that wasn't really discussed in the game, and also at being dark and slightly uncomfortable to read. I feel sorry for Max, that his enemies all mock him behind his back, but he really does deserve it sometimes... I sort of feel sorry for Darksol as well, he's often the underdog of the Greater Devil world. I thought Odd Eye's characterisation is interesting, he is amoral by nature but he sort of has a greater code of honour compared to the other devils.
ImonZ chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
I've never liked Mishaela, yet you manage to write it out in a way that I totally and completely symphatice with her. Plus, it has always bothered me how she survived the battle in Demon Castle (hooray for original names). I never thought about the dolls she later were so fond of using.

This is not how I thought Mephisto's birth was like, now it's hard not to think of it that way. Your story fits so very well with the bits from the game's ending.
Maximus Aureillus chapter 1 . 4/2/2011
Very disturbing and yet oddly intriguing are the first words that came to my mind after I read this story. I have my own musings about the circumstances of Mephisto's birth. I assumed that Mephisto was born a few months before the "Final Conflict" at the Grans Tower. But I guess your story is somewhat more logical and realistic.

Your writing is top notch as always. Prose is excellent and other than the mistakes Demonic Weasel mentioned I cannot find anything else to criticize about this story. So good job Martin. An excellent story that tied up a few loose ends of the Final Conflict.

There is a question that is bugging me though. Where was Mephisto during the events of Shining Force 2? That is one of the few major plot-holes that I find when I try to connect Shining Force Final Conflict and Shining Force 2. Maybe one of us should write a fic about that. Eh? :)
Demonic Weasel chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on this new story. Whatever its other merits or lack thereof, none can deny that "Dark Nativity" is the first to deal seriously with the questions surrounding Mephisto's birth. That alone deserves recognition.

The first time I read through this it failed to grab me in any particular way, though I was interested in what reading you would give of the events. The second time around has been much more satisfying. You depict Mishalea in such unusual circumstances, that we can believe the very distanced way in which she is considering her circumstances. And you neatly wrap up the most puzzling aspect of the whole affair; namely how her strategy allowed her to decieve the Shining Force but also sealed her fate to Odd Eye's sword.

Speaking of Odd Eye, the thing about your depiction of him here that most interests me is his... what should it be called, fastidiousness? I would not have expected that reaction, though there's no denying that the task he was asked to perform is a distasteful one. Of course, there's obvious room for that characterization stemming from the games themselves. I myself capitalized on it to an extent in my interpertation. I suppose it just took me offguard.

The prose, as always, is punchy and quite effective. The two moments I liked the best were Odd Eye's aside on Max and his later reflection on how committing such a heinous act binds him to Zeon all the more tightly. It goes a long way towards explaining some of his attitudes in SF2.

The only real downside to this story is that you more errors than usual (though in absolute terms, it's nothing on the vast majority of fanfiction authors).

Comparatively is incorrectly spelled.

"...only way who can command..."- I presume you meant the only *one* who can command?

she felt not connection to her magic- And that not is surely a no, no?