hello! I read your story and it looks very interesting. But i have just one thing to say: You need to proofread your work. If you think it's hard to do it, you can hire a beta reader to beta read your story. Keep writing! Cause that is awesome.

EMILY! I love your story and all but you seriously need to fix the spelling. SHOUVED? Really emily?

HEY HEY HEY :D It's going great so far!

Here's some advice:

PROOFREAD!

Your first line:

I know i haven't been able to stay at a school for more than a year,

i understand my grades are bellow average, but summer school and suspension, why is it always me!

Correction:

I know I (capital) been able to stay at a school for more than a year. (full stop)

I (capital) understand my grades are bellow average, but summer school and suspension? (end it with a question mark) Why is it always me? (Question mark, not a exclamation mark. remember that that is a question. But for more stress on the phrase - which I suspect you were trying to do - you can put both a question mark and an exclamation (?)).

Just re-read and you'll find more stuff like that.

Other problems:

"come on mate you got to eat something" said percy.

Correction:

"Come on mate! You've got to eat something!" Percy said.

Work on the capital letters and where your sentences end.

HOPE THAT HELPED! :D You're the best! KEEP WRITING WOMAN. I'M WAITING FOR MORE.

Jeez, this was a long review.

I'll see you Monday! :D

~Daniella Jones