|Reviews for The Agonizing Shame|
| LeeMarieJack chapter 1 . 2/16
We have set the scene well, Sammy in double danger, Dean and John out of commission, Life is no bed of roses but this chapter has certainly upped the ante on foreboding..
| green-is-not-a-creative-color chapter 9 . 12/26/2013
Omg! Loved it! And yes sequal!
| Tearrer Dana chapter 8 . 11/24/2013
So usually I don't review when disinterested for the sake of supporting creative expression but you're story is my first exception for one reason: I just don't understand the purpose. The moral, if there was intent for one, escaped me. I found much of the story and details to be overboard and downright crude in a situation where mental stability seemed to be disregarded when you were attempting to write about recovery.
Why write anything about the trial if you were not going to do it (and the character) justice? While I under not all judicial situations are fair or just (ironically), I felt as if you used it as a catalyst to describe in morbid detail torture scenes. I tried to find a purpose in the scenes after Sam was rescued, looking for some sort of "happy ending" coming out of it. But instead we were just given replays of scenes you had implied were there in the first place. It felt like you only added them for fun... to literally torture the characters without resolution. This is where I just couldn't follow the story anymore.
I'm not a stranger to abuse centric stories but I feel as if this was presented withour tact. I also understand that things like this DO happen in real life and I cannot sit here and pretend that everyone gets a happy ending - but the execution was just flawed in this.
It did have potential and you aren't a bad writer by any means, but I do think that you took too much focus and (though I don't mean to be rude by saying this) pleasure in torturing the characters without empathy. Ie, why I find it disturbing. Maybe the sequel is the redeeming, missing piece to this puzzle, but I will not be reading it to find out.
| Guest chapter 9 . 11/5/2013
I must admit, I am depressed after reading this story. That is a compliment to your writing skills, that you illicited a valid emotional response from me. Very few writers have that effect on me. I actually wanted to torture "Larry" and that judge myself! Death seemed too kind for them. I had to remind myself I was reading a story. I look forward to reading the continuation. I apologize for the late commentary; I am new to the fan fiction side of Supernatural. Thank you for posting such an intense story.
From a Dean-girl. :)
| SamanDean chapter 9 . 9/7/2013
OMGOD! FREAKING! F***ING! I'm sobbing so hard. You did it so well. Thank you for writing such an intersting - if not completely tortuing - fic.
| HopelessAddictToWriting chapter 1 . 8/27/2013
This is great! Its hard to find quality fan fics these days, and you nailed it!
| Rollin'Jane chapter 9 . 6/11/2013
This story was great, and I found myself tearing up more than once. I just wanted to point something out though. The plot twist with the judge, while interesting, was unrealistic. In situations like that, a jury would decide Larry's fate. The judge is only there to keep court in order, and to deliver the sentence.
| TheGirlWhoWaited1 chapter 9 . 6/10/2013
Poor Sammy! Great job!
| Supernatural23 chapter 2 . 1/27/2013
uhhh...a little graphic. I love your writing though! Keep up the good work!
| deanssammy chapter 9 . 9/12/2012
omg that storywas so loved it.
| DeansMine chapter 9 . 9/11/2012
That was scary as Hell! I cannot believe such evil exists. Yeah, I know this is a piece of fiction, but we all know that there is evil among us.
I live in Portland Oregon, and we had these two little girls who were very close friends disappear, each at different times. The first girl went missing, and her little diligent friend looked for her with the adults, and even gathered faculty, students and parents at their school to search, and donate money to help find her friend.
I really believe the little girl started her own investigation, which later led to her own death by the same person who kidnapped, raped, and killed her friend. I believe she asked the right question to the wrong guy, and he killed her for it.
It was this neighborhood guy who lived at the end of their block. He had befriended both girls, and other kids in the neighborhood as well. He was that guy, you know the kind, who lets underaged kids hang out at their house, and basically get away from their parents, and home responsibilities. I believe that he also had a son about the girls same age, and the son invited a lot of young girls over. The first little missing girl I believe liked his son. I don't know if they called themselves dating, but the atmosphere at the neighbors house was questionable.
I felt like a lot of people who followed the story did, that the girls parents really did their daughters a disservice by allowing them to hang out with men, and boys with no supervision. Plus as I'll explain, they really didn't know the man well enough to allow him such access to their daughters.
The male neighbor, and later found to be murderer was an incredible monster. The bastard actually was a member of the search party for both girls.
When the suspicion fell on the male neighbor the police looked into his past, and found that his father was serving time for killing the suspects young girlfriend years before. The dad had buried the poor girl under some quick drying cement in the back of their house.
So the police realized when they found two newly poured slabs of cement in their current suspects yard, they had probably found the burial places for the missing little girls. It took months for the police get their case together, and before they actually dug up the cement slabs, and yes found the bodies of the poor girls. The police botched the case so bad, and actually almost lost the case for the DA before it even went to trial. The police just couldn't get the evidence, and the interviews of the suspect were comically sad.
The neighbor guy was finally convicted for murdering the two little girls, but he just got jail time, and not life.
I told you this story because parents need to watch who they let their children hang with, which includes the parents and other visitors to the homes. Your story kinda took blame from John, but John wasn't protecting Sam, or even providing him with a safe environment while he was away. I mean he left the kid in a grimy no star motel with smarmy characters coming and going. Sadly, John should have gotten some jail time. I know that Larry was a monster laying in wait to attack, but Sam was a minor who's father left him vulnerable, and alone.
A parent just going to regular job can't guarantee that nothing will happen to keep them from returning. Life throws us surprises. John's chosen job definitely couldn't allow him any certainty of returning alive or dead. Plus he took Dean to have his back, but left a child all alone without any support. John just pisses me off with his total neglect, and near sighted views of raises his kids.
I just feel so deeply for Sam, and Dean. I want to wrap them up in love, and protect them from all the pain that's thrown at them. I'm a foster mom, and I've seen those empty, lost eyes you've described in your story. I've heard children who should be looking at their future with hope and excitement instead self degrading themselves, and drowning in self doubt and depression. Your story just reminded me of why I'm a foster parent, and what I'm helping to protect my kids from.
| christinebleu chapter 9 . 7/24/2012
Your writing was superb! This story has made me teared up (literally!) Poor Sam has to go through shitty things :( And as i was reading it i couldn't believe that almost half a year passed and he was still with Larry! Arrgh, i hated those guys.
| lo chapter 1 . 12/30/2011
The Kite Runner was first published in 2003. Since This story has to take place around 1998 (since Sam is 16), he couldn't possible reading this particular book.
| wInChEsTeR bRoS iNc chapter 1 . 12/30/2011
| smallvillechic110 chapter 8 . 11/14/2011
I would also like to say to you, forget all those people who complained about the court system you wrote. You told us all at the beginning of the chapters that you didn't have a perfect understaning and you researched the best you could. It's not your fault they didn't read your Authors Notes. I think you did a fantastic job for kind of winging it, for lack of a better word. Unless you go to court everyday or have some kind of law profession, you can hardly tell. I bought it and I've been to court SEVERAL times. Several different cases for several different people. You did a great job at making this court case very real, especially for not having the greatest knowledge about it.
I just happened to be skimming through your reviews and saw a couple comments about the court details. I just wanted to tell you that they are wrong, your warned us properly and they really should have read that before they left you those comments. Sorry if I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong.