Reviews for Coming Home
Camille loves chocolate chapter 1 . 10/6/2012
I love this story! So what if it's rushed I hate when one shots are long good job
MidnightSakuraBlossom and SYD chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
I agree completely with Gonstika. Your story was very rushed and there was so little description behind it. To be honest: it looks shabby, like you didn't even take the time to really write it at all. The plot would be a very good one, nice and heartwarming, but it just had no feeling.

Take the time to add descriptions, and be slow with the story. Because I felt like absolutely nothing really happened here. It would have been better.

...Don't think that I'm being mean or anything. I'm not trying to be. I just really think you need the criticism. I hope that you'll take the tips you've been giving by other reviewers and me into consideration. You could become a good writer with practice.
Phenoix12 chapter 1 . 3/28/2011
You get a big fat “mea...”

Not the best thing I’ve ever read.

It was too short for the type of story it was (Also it all happen so fast)

Needs a lot of work but I’m sure you can do better.

You get a 4 out of 10 (At least I didn’t hate it)
Wings of Reparation chapter 1 . 3/28/2011
I'm in agreement with Gonstika.

A story like this needs to be drawn out with more emotion.

I'm not saying this story is bad.

It could just use a little more improvement, that's all.

w

If you wish to keep it that way, then that's fine by me. It is your right after all.

Good one-shot nonetheless.
Gonstika chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
Not bad for a story concept but the way you presented the story seemed a bit rushed and would have probably helped if you took some time to write the fic.

Other than that, its quite an interesting story for an AU L*S. If this is simply a Oneshot I think you should go back and take some more time to put in more detail to the story so it seems more presentable than looking like it was rushed through. If there is more to this story as more chapters I wouldnt mind reading them since Fan Fics on Kanata are very low.

All in all, a nice little story.