|Reviews for Blown Apart|
| Craftygirl11 chapter 1 . 2/25/2012
you have me hooked I can't wait to read the rest of your story. I will be reviewing at the end.
| laurzz chapter 14 . 4/15/2011
This was an absolutely brilliant story! I'm glad I discovered it now in it's finished form, because I truly don't think I would have lasted between updates - I would have gone absolutely stir crazy.
You're a great storyteller - no surprise as you mention you're an English teacher ;) - but still, this story had the perfect amounts of everything. A well thought out plot, descriptions, character input, romance, suspense, humour... you name it, it was evident in every chapter. I do genuinely think that this could have been a FANTASTIC arc on the show. As I was reading, I could picture it playing out on screen, and it actually saddened me a little because I doubt we'd ever see something as gritty and character driven as this story was.
Sawyers... well, wasn't she a character. I was impressed with how you initially had me detesting her, to actually quite liking her. I think the obvious turn around was when she sent Danny on his way after listening to the phone call with Lucy. She was an interesting character - and dead on with her job. She knew that something wasn't quite right with Grayson, and she was right. Women's intuition ;)
The moments with DL were really perfect. It was a DannyLindsay centred story, but it had the perfect amount of moments shared between them, where you didn't lose sight of the real plot line and where you were taking the story - brilliant move.
Also, the characters - brilliant how you integrated the whole team. It was nice to read their dynamic so true as to what it is on screen... even down to Lindsay and Adam breaking the case as they usually do. Which was another great move on your part - Lindsay and Adam's participation in the case, despite the fact they were being hospitalised the entire time.
All in all, a fantastic read that had me gripped until the very end. Definitely one to add to the favourites
| rhymenocerous chapter 14 . 4/11/2011
Hey, sorry for the late review... was away from my internet for a while there, but I'm back!
I just can't tell you how much I enjoyed this story and how I looked forward to seeing that you'd updated. You have a marvellous grasp of these characters and you are a fabulous story teller. Please don't keep us waiting too long for another story from you!
| webdlfan chapter 14 . 4/7/2011
Of all this story? absolute favorite line has to be: "I think Sid was telling her stories, which kind of scares me cause you know how his stories usually go, so she makes sure I eat right." Just so funny. Ok, maybe not absolute fav line for the whole story, but this made my day. Love Lucy in here and how she thinks Sawyer has a silly job. And very sweet of Lindsay to return and help Adam with the glue.
| webdlfan chapter 13 . 4/7/2011
Love it! Love that Lindsay was right and I also like how Danny acknowledges both that he wants to be there, but he shouldn't... and not only that, he wants to be with Lindsay.
You've done a great job with all of this! :)
| afrozenheart412 chapter 14 . 4/7/2011
I LOVE the opening with Lindsay reading a story to Lucy, it brought a warm feeling to my heart that no matter what...this will never change. Family is the most important aspect of this show, and it was FREAKING AWESOME to see it! Had to laugh at Lucy getting after Lindsay when Sawyer arrived, that and reporting to Danny what she did. I can see that Lindsay has her hands full with a lot of love and adventures to come, LOL! I can almost see Sawyer's reaction to Lucy, it was very cute! But I'm glad that she was there for Lindsay when Lucy accidentally elbowed her. The reprimand and solution to all of this was perfect, they aren't getting off scott-free but neither is it going to be dismissed and forgotten about. Again, I hope we see her more in the future, it takes a lot of guts to do their job and make sure that everyone follows the rules, it protects them and the people on the street even if they don't like it.
As for the conversation about Mrs. Hammerback's cooking, that was hysterical! I love how he gave up because it was just too good of food to pass up. I'm glad it was Adam to welcome her back, this did start out like the beginning and I was worried when Adam opened that package. But glass? LMAO! Thank you for the flashback to One Wedding And A Funeral, and the way Lindsay weaseled her way out of helping with the excuse of paperwork! It did my heart good to see her coming back to help, poor Adam, it is just too fun to mess with that man! Especially after that last episode, LMAO!
"So Chicken Little and Henny Penny continued on to tell the king that the sky was falling. Soon they met Loosey Goosey. Loosey Goosey asked where they were going and Chicken Little said 'The sky is falling and we must go and tell the king.'" Lindsay was half lying/half sitting on the couch with Lucy curled up on her good side reading. Lucy was proudly holding the book and turning the pages so that her mother could have her one good arm wrapped around Lucy's small body. Lucy looked and grinned at the entrance of the newest character of the story.
"Me Lucy-Goosey. Silly Chi'ken Liddle, the sky no fall." She shook her head in disbelief.
Lindsay laughed quietly, careful not to jar her ribs. Though she was glad to be home, it seemed like she was feeling the pain in her ribs and shoulders more than she had in the hospital. Danny had suggested earlier it was because in the hospital they gave her the pain medication whether she wanted it or not; now that she was at home, she was holding off taking the prescription pain pills as much as she could because they made her drowsy. She'd much rather endure the pain if it meant being able to spend the time with her little girl. "
"Mama." Lindsay turned to see Lucy standing on the couch looking at her. Her little hands were on her hips, imitating Lindsay's 'you're in trouble" look. "Daddy said to stay off you feet. You come sit with me 'fore you get in twouble."
Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Danny gave her strict orders not to let me do too much while he was gone. I don't know if he realizes how seriously she takes her job or if that's what he was counting on. Why don't you come have a seat before my beautiful little narc turns me in."
Sawyers laughed and followed the younger woman into the living room area. Lindsay once more settled on the couch and Sawyers chose a comfortable chair to the side of the couch. Lucy snuggled down next to Lindsay. "I could use her on my team."
"What about Mac?"
"He was personally involved but not to the extent you were. He should have had a clearer head because of that. As your superior officer, he never should have let you near Grant. He also should have waited for back-up to arrive. It might not have made a difference but he would be the first one to reprimand one of his own for the same mistake. He is being suspended for one week without pay and he'll also have a letter of reprimand placed in his folder."
Danny winced. A week away from work would kill Mac even though it was still a light punishment compared to what IA could have imposed. "You tell him that yet?"
Detective Sawyers chuckled lightly, almost as if she could read his mind. "I left him just before coming here. Needless to say he had a few choice words about my decisions. Words that I don't think you would want your daughter to hear. But I think part of him recognizes that it was the right decision on my part."
I love how Mac is taking this, he knew that consequences and will take it, it could have been worse.
"Hey, welcome back. Danny had said you were probably coming back today but that he was hoping to talk you into taking a few more days. When did you lose the sling?"
"Yesterday. I'm cleared for light duty here in the lab but I won't get full clearance until I finish my physical therapy. He tried to talk me into staying home longer but I couldn't. I was gaining too much weight eating all the food people kept bringing over, especially Danny's mom and Sid's wife."
Adam grinned. "Yeah, I've been getting that as well, well, not from Danny's mom obviously but from everyone else. Of course Mrs. Hammerback has been cooking me at least one meal a week for a couple of years now. I think Sid was telling her stories, which kind of scares me cause you know how his stories usually go, so she makes sure I eat right. I protested at first but after a couple of meals I gave up."
"Realized it was useless to protest?" Lindsay asked, pleased to be back. She had even missed Adam's enthusiastic rambling.
"Nope, realized she was a really good cook."
"Lindsay frowned. "Don't tell me it is another explosive?"
"Worse, lots of broken glass that will have to be pieced together to get prints. Why do I always get the impossible puzzles to put together? But hey you did say you wanted to help." He grinned hopefully.
Lindsay stood and back toward the door. "You know, I think I'll leave this one to you. Sorry Adam, paperwork calls."
Adam frowned. "I thought you said anything was better than paperwork?"
"I lied. Even a mountain of paperwork beats gluing pieces of glass back together. If I see Danny, I'll send him your way. He loves this kind of work."
And I'm happy that you are staying, because if your second story is as great as this one. We have a lot to look forward too. :)
| canucklehead chapter 14 . 4/6/2011
Congratulations on your first story and it was brilliant! Apologies for not reviewing every chapter, but I really enjoyed it and it felt like an episode. Looking forward to more of your stories.
| alexindigo chapter 14 . 4/6/2011
Loved it Jenn! I'm glad Sawyers was firm yet understanding to Danny and Mac. Lucy is precious! Would've liked it if you'd had gone into detail about Lindsay's nightmares and how it's been affecting her and Danny but overall, really liked this story!
Thank you so much for sharing! Am looking forward to reading more of your work here. )
| XMrsLindsayMesserwannabeX chapter 14 . 4/6/2011
Just wanted to say i loved the whole story :D
| cklovesm-m chapter 14 . 4/6/2011
loved this story!
and i really like how you ended it!
| afrozenheart412 chapter 13 . 4/6/2011
Oh-kay, not I'm really glad that Danny wasn't there. He would have ripped through anyone who stood in his way to get to Moore and show him what he did to his family, the lab, and his city. I have to congratulation Don on keeping it together, I think if the officers had waited another second...he would have even lost it on his friend's behalf. I FREAKING LOVE that Lindsay's theory was right, I was wondering how it was going to end up. This was awesome, and I LOVE the team work displayed in here.
Moore was a cool customer at the docks, I could see Don's doubt in this one. And even though I thought what he did was a little bit justified...he took his revenge too far in hurting the lab. He should have gotten help from people who did love him. Very sad. And knowing that Sheldon held a key to all of this, again was awesome! That man needs to be shown he is loved too by the team. :) Will the epilogue have Sawyer talking to Mac or is that already done and settled?
| alexindigo chapter 13 . 4/5/2011
Makes sense! This Moore guy is a real piece of work. Who would've thought that Lindsay's theory was right on the money? But then again, she is usually the one who breaks most cases. :P Jenn, brava to writing a really good and intriguing mystery. It wasn't as predictable as most stories AND it involved everyone in the lab! Quite a treat. :) Don't worry too much about not getting enough reviews. Most stories don't even get half as much as you've received. We're a shy bunch sometimes. :P
Thank you so much for sharing! Am looking forward to the epilogue and to reading more of your work. )
| nicole chapter 13 . 4/5/2011
I loved this story! and for your first one this is really good. you have talent. Dont forget that. If I were you keep writing,it doesn't matter what people think. All that matters is that you like what you wrote and want to share that with others. Keep writing and I know that I will read more of your stories once you make more.
| afrozenheart412 chapter 12 . 4/4/2011
Again you are doing a fantastic job with this story, so many twists, turns, and a lot of heart when it comes to showing all of the characters at their best! And I do mean all of them, because I would LOVE to see Sawyer come back and visit the lab with business they could help with. As for Martha, we do need to know if her daughter will get her pick of the men of the lab or department, LOL!
I have to give it to Lindsay for coming up with yet another freaking possibility. Man, with the way things keep changing with who could have a grudge against the lab, its personnel, or now even Grant himself! I LOVE IT and her reaction to being dismissed, I don't see anything wrong in it. It could be wrong but they were taught to run down ALL leads.
Jo and Sawyer, it was cool to see them relaxed and cooperative. Again, there is not enough good things I can say about the IAB officer, she is so freaking cool! I get tired of always seeing them as the bad guy, they have a hard job and its too bad its not appreciated more.
Danny and Lindsay in the lab, that part broke my heart. I could feel the fear and see how this hurt her to see how close she came to losing everything. You're right, they are both lucky to have this time with each other it could have been a lot worse. I just hope that when they go home tonight they give Mrs. Messer and Lucy hugs and kisses and a story in her little pink bed. :D So Sheldon knows the killer...OH! I think I know who it is! Is it that freak who had Sheldon beat up in Sex, Lies, And Silicone? God what it is name? I can't remember now but I'm pinning my money on him. Yes, I'm moving from Rodney Minhas from On The Job. But I feel confident about this. More please!
"Stopping outside the lab, Lindsay took a deep breath, wincing at the pain the maneuver caused her ribs. Danny held the police tape up so she would have to bend under it as she stepped inside. He rested a comforting hand on the small of her back and watched her carefully. Personally he didn't want to see any of the destruction ever again; the image was firmly ingrained in his memory. But he understood her need to do this and was determined not to let her do it by herself.
She looked around, taking in every detail. Flashes of memory came back to her. Opening the box, flying backward, hitting hard and the file cabinet landing on her as she landed on the floor. A second more powerful explosion. She shuddered and then twisted so her head was buried in Danny's chest. His arms wrapped around her tightly and his hand rubbed her back soothingly. He could feel her tears wetting his shirt and he simply held her as she cried. He knew she didn't need to hear soothing platitudes, she just needed to be held. After several minutes she looked up at him.
"I'm really lucky to be alive, aren't I?"
Danny's eyes, against his will settled on the spot where they had pulled the file cabinet lying on her. He remembered how still and broken she had looked. His heart skipped a beat just at the memory and his hold on her tightened until he heard a slight groan of pain. He kissed the top of her head in apology and loosened his hold. "Yeah, I think you are. I think we're both lucky it wasn't worse. I know the nightmare of all this isn't gonna go away overnight but I think we gotta hold on to just how lucky we were and are that we can both stand here in each others arms. I know at least if I dwell too much on what could have happened, I'm gonna have a hard time letting you ever leave the apartmentl You seen enough?"
Lindsay blinked back the tears and nodded. "More than enough. Thanks for letting me do this. I know its just as hard for you but I had to do this."
"I know, that's why I went along with it."
| alexindigo chapter 12 . 4/3/2011
Loved this chapter Jenn! I thought Lindsay's request to view the crime scene was valid and necessary for her to move forward. Am glad that Danny has been officially cleared. You've managed to keep me in suspense till the very end! I have no idea who it is and am looking forward to the big reveal.
Thank you so much for sharing! )