|Reviews for Unidenitified|
| James Birdsong chapter 21 . 2/21/2012
Excellent fanfic captainflapjack _
| tuatara chapter 21 . 7/30/2011
Happy endings all around! Good, good. So I guess it wasn't totally safe for Akane and Kain to be having sex all the time after all, huh? _
This story could still use a lot of work, but it was quite enjoyable anyway. Keep at it and I'm sure your work will continue to improve!
Now to return to your "Bring Me to Life"...
| tuatara chapter 20 . 7/30/2011
So Akane really got disowned? Huh. That's certainly not fair. Stupid Soun.
And the girls are part vampire, so Kain can be out in the world? Maybe that's part of why Kain was drawn to Akane in the first place? Yeah, let's go with that.
Yay for things working out. _ One more chapter to go!
| tuatara chapter 19 . 7/30/2011
This was good, but there really should have been at least a brief conversation with Ranma in here at some point, even if it was just to say, "Sorry, I can't do this. I don't love you."
But it was nice to see a bit of Akane's tradmark temper and super martial artist strength come through.
Kufos for spelling "brooch" correctly. Almost every story I've read on this site uses "broach" (the verb) for "brooch" (the jewelry).
| tuatara chapter 17 . 7/30/2011
Well, this was good except for one key thing: Ranma. First, you don't even have him say anything at all about Akane's "affair." Ranma would be quite angry and hurt (even if your version of Ranma doesn't really like her, he would still be really upset that she would choose someone else over him).
But most of all, "she kept her head down as that boy with the braid put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him"? No way would he do that, especially under the circumstances. In fact, he would probably want to get as far away from her as possible.
Is the reason Ranma's almost totally absent from your stories because you don't understand how he thinks? I'd totally be willing to help with that via PM if you want. Let me know if you do, okay?
Oh, and Akane's outfit in this chapter was pretty rad.
| tuatara chapter 15 . 7/30/2011
I know you were embarrassed by the lemon, but you have no reason to be. It was actually quite good. One of your best-written scenes, even. Great work!
| tuatara chapter 13 . 7/30/2011
A thousand yen is currently about thirteen dollars, so that would be like the best deal ever! ;)
Very nice description of the gown, by the way.
| tuatara chapter 11 . 7/30/2011
So your Akane really doesn't even like Ranma? I just realized that thisnis really only Akane in name. That's kind of a bummer. It's still a fun story, but it's harder to think of her as actually Akane when they don't have much in common. Though the kiss *was* nice!
| tuatara chapter 10 . 7/30/2011
"Really when it was Kain's birthday on March 16th Rima and I pulled a prank that you gave Kain a present that was a thong with a note saying that you wanted to have his babies and then Aido asked if men can have babies even though they don't have ovaries then Rima and I were dying on the floor then you forgave me when I did the puppy trick but when Rima tried it you just pushed her off the couch, at his birthday I wore a violet dress with a black lace over it and it was given to me by Aido on my 11th birthday I tried giving it back but he wouldn't take it back oh and at Kain's party Aido ate all the piñata candy and we tried to not give him any cake but he through a tantrum and almost ruined the cake so we gave him a tiny piece but not any ice cream, but I had to leave early because Kimiko, an old monitor, got drunk and I had to drag her to the dorms, oh and I also know that in your room you have a Gwen Stefani poster hidden in a briefcase under your bed and I know because when I was playing hid and go seek with Aido I hide under there and the colorful corner was sticking out (It's not true, but I had to put it in so he would believe, DON'T HUR ME!), is that good enough for you?" she asked cocking her head to the side.
That's possibly the longest run-on sentence I've ever seen, my friend. That really should have been more than one *paragraph*, let alone more than one sentence.
| tuatara chapter 9 . 7/30/2011
I thought the reason she didn't want Kain to know is because she didn't want to deal with such painful stuff and because she was maybe still sort of scared of him.
Poor Kain too, even if it really is still his fault in the end.
| tuatara chapter 8 . 7/30/2011
Kicking Chuck Norris in the balls? Heh. I'm going to assume she doesn't know who he is, because it's funnier if she's dreaming of kicking the balls of a complete stranger. _
So they had their first real meeting. Poor Akane. You handled that scene really well. Good job!
| tuatara chapter 7 . 7/30/2011
Eww, a crowbar? That's not a good image. :P
| tuatara chapter 4 . 7/30/2011
Lipids, trigonometry, astronomy and the Holocaust. You just pick those at random or were you covering all of them in school at the time? _ Is it weird that I think those are all quite interesting topics?
| tuatara chapter 3 . 7/30/2011
Hm...three things. First, I thought the scars weren't supposed to be that bad. Like faint white lines running along her forearms or something...not something as serious as you described here.
Second, isn't it kinda weird to start telling someone all the crappy stuff in your life in the very first moment you see each other again after years?
Lastly, why the heck are Kimiko and Gin still around?
Other than those few points I wasn't sure about, I quite liked the chapter. Looking forward to the next one...
| tuatara chapter 2 . 7/29/2011
Hm. Are the Night Class students permanent students because of what they are? If not, everyone she knew before should be gone.
Pretty good chapter. And wow, that's a big sword. (I think swords like that are called zanbato.)
And now on the next chapter!