|Reviews for The Spiral Path|
| DylanL chapter 5 . 3/6/2014
Some of those members were interesting and completely unpredictable. I would like clarification of exactly wat happened that night and if ted was involved with providing the refreshments.
| DylanL chapter 4 . 3/6/2014
The whole cyanide and secrets thing from the second task didn't make sense before but now it does. However shouldn't hermiones dehumanizing draught have cleared all the venom and tears out of holly. I mean it was those substances that were the cause of the mutation and since she is no longer mutated should they be gone.
| Philosophize chapter 5 . 3/4/2014
I can't wait to red more!
| RykOakwine chapter 5 . 2/7/2014
What an odd story. ill put it on follow, see where it goes. Bit confusing, in spite of claims that the first chapter can 'catch you up' on the events in the prequel.
Seems a lot of melodrama has settled in for the principles, no doubt due to Harry's femaleness. Doesn't seem like many of these people are very happy, no matter how free and libertine their sex lives are.
| Gremlin Jack chapter 5 . 2/7/2014
This story is truly remarkable and well-written. But you seem to be simply adding to the number of opponents faced by Holly, without showing any sign that Holly has a plan for permanently taking care of any of them. Frankly, the good guys deserve a few major victories, so far its been mostly survival.
| Meneldur chapter 5 . 8/16/2013
My apologies for all the delays. This fic takes some great fortitude to review. But I've finally caught up to it all. I don't even know when my last review was, or what, but I reread the Spiral and a few chapters from Spiral Tangents (which I wish you'd update) and HEatSP. I basically loaded it up on my phone, and read it on the bus while making notes, upon which I am now basing my review. Still, I think it would be a good thing to have a short recap of the previous chapter at the beginning of each new one, given chapter lengths and the time that passes between updates. Nothing too long, just a short summary, so people know what went down and can check it out if they feel it's important. For example, for chapter 4, something like this: "Hermione convinces Holly to take a honeymoon, Severus and Holly talk. Holly confronts Florean over him being a Death Eater. Neville is told the truth and given back his memories. Holly meets the Tonks and tells them about the wedding." And maybe a summation of important events that affect what happened in this chapter – for example, for the confrontation with Florean, something like 'The details of Florean and Holly's relationship are in chapters X, Y and Z'. I just think it'd make it easier for the readers.
In any case, I hope I'll be able to return to a normal rate of reviewing, and we'll be able to resume our fascinating discussions on the story.
Speaking of the Tonks, I will now forever question what would have happened if Ted was not the laid back druggie he is, but rather Walter White from Breaking Bad. For that matter, why are they such laid-back druggies/TV addicts?
This was a great chapter, especially as it dealt less with the coming conflict and more with the people of the Spiral, how they work and their relationships. It was very well done – a rest was needed after all the chaos of the previous story and chapters, I feel.
Erin was a great example of what I feel would be the majority of people, even were they Holly's supporters. She's loyal to Holly, but she's not so loyal or daring as to take the Spiral and fight with her. It's good, I feel, because Holly will need these regular people, the people who are friends and allies but not devoted supporters, who like her and yet don't love her. It'll keep her grounded, and perhaps remind her of the grand purpose she has: to protect the people themselves, especially women, from the Ministry.
So, what exactly happened at the Marking? Was it an Orgy? It doesn't sound like way, because Sirius never talked about having sex. So maybe a selective orgy, with whoever Holly marked having sex with her? For that matter, who was Marked? Were not Fleur and Hermione (at the least) already Marked? What exactly went down there? See, that would make for an excellent Spiral Tangent.
It seems to me Minerva was disappointed with Holly for holding the Marking. But why? We know she disapproves of darker magic and binding, but they've been over this so many times, does she not realize it is somewhat of a necessity, and that everybody entered it consciously and of their own free wills?
The wedding was absolutely hilarious, every part of it. I loved it. Ted was amazing, as was Bathilda. The dynastic concerns were interesting, but seemeed to have been mostly solved – heck, Albus even got part of his wish with Sirius marrying Marguerite. So, let me see if I understood how it handed up: Edouard as the Black Heir, Chrys as the Longbottom Heir, and Holly and Natalia heading the Peverell family, with their kid being next in line once (if) it's born. Albus raised an interesting question about Perenelle, but didn't she already give what she had to Holly? So it's already happened. And since Holly's already the target, adding the Peverell name doesn't add to it, it would only make the celebrations after her death turn into inheritance wars.
I loved Marguerite. The more I see of her, the more I think she's absolutely perfect for Sirius. It's obvious he's pretty dedicated as well, even if he still suffers from fears of commitment. I hope he manages to wise up, now that she's his wife and he's Marked. No doubt he'll have great fun with Edouard as well, though I wonder about Grace – she's been so very quiet. Also, you wrote that Sirius was Grace's step-father – but I thought he was also her biological father? In any case, I can't wait to see how that family relationship works out. Who caught Marguerite's bouquet?
So what exactly happened in the Spiral meeting after the wedding? Obviously sex, as that was why Hermione didn't want to go. But apparently not planning, as then she would have gone. So what, it was just a celebratory send-off orgy for Holly and Natalia? If so, again, I really want a Spiral Tangent of it! I mean, all those people in one room together… and Sirius coming from his own marriage bed, and Fleur, and after they had all been Marked no less the previous night… I NEED IT!
Poor Holly, in any case. On her own wedding, her best friend has to doubt her again. It makes you wonder bout Hermione. Her brain… well, it's not exactly suited to this kind of thing, to following Holly. And yet she's in command in Holly and Natalia's absence, and seems to be second-in-command and Holly's most trusted advisor in general. Maybe that's why, though? Because she's always doubting, questioning, being the Devil's Advocate, essentially? Still, it makes you question it all. Because all of Holly's supporters are incredibly talented and gifted in their own right, yet the defining requirement of the Spiral is the utter loyalty and love of Holly. So why is Hermione afflicted with such doubt about that love?
Maybe entering a relationship with Neville will help. I certainly think it will be a good idea, and could work. They suit each other, complimenting the others strength and covering for their weaknesses. Neville's loyalty to Holly would help, but I don't think it'll ever be complete. Because Neville deserves and desires an equal partner. And Hermione is Marked, and second-in-command. Her devotion to Holly must be above her devotion to Neville. So if Neville gets Marked, it might work, but otherwise, I don't think it'll ever be a complete relationship (marriage and all) until the struggle end and Holly does not need Hermione so much, allowing her to devote hr resources to Neville.
Holly and Natalia are awesome, getting Mickey Mouse and all. Though I'm a bit disappointed they haven't yet debauched all the Disney Princesses in one fantastic orgy yet.
Lastly, I think some clarification on the Members of the Spiral and the structure of the organization might help. Are there any other dormant agents besides Violet? Because I think it would be important to mention that. Beyond that, what decides who gets the Regent Rune? Obviously it would be less useful for Sirius, who can't interact with many people and Mark them, but still. Also, who are all of Natalia's inductees and when were they inducted? When have they appeared, what do we know of them? Why only George and not Fred? Most importantly, is their some kind of hierarchy or seniority? Hermione's in command in Holly and Natalia's absence, but is Natalia in command if only Holly is absent? How does one reconcile this hierarchy with the one of the mundane world – most obviously in this case, how does Amelia feel about taking orders from Natalia? Is there some sort of Inner Circle (say, Natalia, Hermione, Padma, Sirius and Fleur) and Outer Circle? Is there any significance to being Holly's inductee? Do they even have specific work division and missions, or is it just assigned by Holly when the need arises? I really think we'd benefit from this information, and it totally fascinates me.
So, this is surprisingly short for what I remember of my reviews (it doesn't even reach 10,000 characters), especially given the length of time I haven't read or reviewed. But it's a good start, I feel, and I hope this will be an auspicious beginning to the resumption of our relationship. Thank you so much for being patient and continuing to write, and I hope to have your reply soon. Until then, I remain your (once-more) faithful reviewer, Meneldur.
| Nor chapter 5 . 7/29/2013
Cool chapter. nice to see that the story is alive
| LittleLionLass chapter 5 . 7/27/2013
Such a great story- glad to see it being continued.
| skywiseskychan chapter 5 . 7/22/2013
Well now the spiral is becoming a fractal!
| TheWickedTruth89 chapter 5 . 7/19/2013
Fantastic chapter, it's great to see this updated, can't wait for more.
| Endymion2314 chapter 5 . 7/19/2013
YEAH! It Continues!
| steamrick chapter 5 . 7/19/2013
It's been a while, but it's nice to see the story continued :)
| Angelsrm chapter 4 . 5/8/2013
This story is amazing! Thought you ought to know! ;)
| Random number generator chapter 3 . 4/11/2013
Congratulations for this galleon scam, I thought about something similar and your idea is far less overcomplicated.
| TheWickedTruth89 chapter 4 . 2/25/2013
Great chapter, any chance of an update?