Reviews for Demon
nightcoder chapter 1 . 2/5/2015
this is lily cool... i've read tons of different "versions" of ben's story and i say this is the best... a few weird things here and there but could be overlooked... too bad my fandom is years late...
Lalealy chapter 1 . 7/7/2014
Woow! That was awesome! The description of the game confused me a bit, but the rest was amazing! Now I want to know if BEN wins or not. xD
BEN chapter 1 . 3/11/2014
I know that pic... are you a RWBY fan?!
BETA chapter 1 . 12/29/2013
Amazing. Just amazing. The NES translate was a bit confusing, but that's just a minor detail. The rest of the story was just brilliance in terms of context and character. The way you describe the Within Hubris campsite and how they had weapons, how they communicated with each other and how you dubbed it in medieval (hehe, Ryukaki thought as an "attention seeker" like other people in the ARG) is just UNF SO GOOD. I love how mysterious the ending was! I just wish it could've been longer. All in all, I say it is a 8.5/10. Practically a 9!
catzlovecheeze chapter 1 . 11/6/2013
Oh my gosh.
This is the best thing I have ever read.
Honestly, I love the ARG so so much, and its so hard to find others who even just know what it is...the arcs are extremely confusing, espically after we lost the first Within Hubris, and with so much of the fan base leaving, and no new info because of Jad's hiatus (I can't complain - I'm looking forward to Methods Of Revolution on a cosmic scale), but still, I try to look into the very tangled story web somewhat often.
This is VERY well done. I love the game connections you made, as well as the character connections - I just love BEN! (I've actually got a fanfic going about him lol).
This is an incredible piece. I love the idea of a within hubris camp, a Jadusable as a king/lord, and a medevial majoras mask. Just incredible 3.
CreepyLittleWonderland chapter 1 . 9/13/2013
OMG I loved it!
Yunie Tatlin chapter 1 . 6/5/2011
You may want to find a way to make the seperation between Author notes more clear, like bolding or italicizing the author notes. Puting A/N before them helps too.

Now, on to the story. It has a good feel for it, and a lot of it works for the time period, but some of it seems a little to advanced. Mainly the game, such as how does the time limit work. Do you have an hour glass to time you? Little details like that go a long way to make the whole thing seem more natural. Also, some parts seem a little rushed.

Anyway, I would love if you did the medieval thing following the story straight from the start with Jad getting the game, then evil little BEN showing up and so on. If not I might do so myself.
randomnumbers1234567890 chapter 1 . 4/30/2011

That was really good! I love the whole internet the forest allegory. This was a really interesting retelling of the ARG. I'm glad you had fun writing it, because it's really good. :D