|Reviews for Ninja Spirits|
| Kusari-Gama 61602 chapter 6 . 1/4
Oh, Fearless Master. You never fail to amuse. Especially when you all but claim Billy as your own grandson.
Awesome update. Nothing as fun as seeing FM complain about the living not giving him enough entertainment. As for the new ghost, I honestly don't know. Ayame is talking about Misao, methinks.
MOAR. Please. Or whenever you have time. I can't boss you around. 0w0
| TinySprite chapter 6 . 1/4
O.O *sits down and grabs popcorn*
| Bronwyn Celtia chapter 6 . 1/4
You DID have me worried that it was Beach as the PT ghost for a moment or two!
| Bronwyn Celtia chapter 5 . 1/4
Sorta explains Storm Shadow's "change of heart"...
| Bronwyn Celtia chapter 3 . 1/4
The Soft Master definitely isn't much like his brothers.
| Bronwyn Celtia chapter 1 . 1/4
Interesting look at Tommy's family life.
| Lady Jaye1 chapter 6 . 1/2
Lovely update. I liked the contrast you put in between father and son, as well as "grandpa" being fond if Billy. Interesting development with the green shirts and the PT ghost.
| willwrite4fics chapter 6 . 1/2
I can't think of who it is, but Ayame is doing a good deed here. SS is a bit clueless, but only for his own particular blind spots.
| red dawn x2 chapter 5 . 6/1/2014
So to start off my review, let me say wow. That is one in depth universe you have going there. There is obviously a lot of effort put into your universe. However, I do find a few things slightly odd about the universe.
To start, I find the interactions between the ninja clans and the political machinations to be interesting intrigue. However, it seems entirely inappropriate behavior for mercenaries and assassins descended from peasants to be discussing and acting like nobility. Their behavior seems appropriate for Samurai, in my opinion, but not for stealthy killers whose main tactics involve poison, knives in the dark, and other exceedingly dishonorable tactics. With this in mind, the continuation of a ninja clan is probably not dependent upon bloodlines, but far more likely just passes to the most well respected or oldest member of the clan. Samurai didn't even depend upon direct bloodlines, as they would sometimes make nephews or adopted sons the heirs to the throne. This is because they didn't justify their rule by divine right, as Europeans did, but rather by family honor, thus making it more of a meritocracy.
On a plot note, why is it necessary for Storm Shadow take jobs? I mean, at this point they have the Soft Master and the Hard Master, both of whom are masters and are more or less just as capable of working as Storm Shadow. Heck, Obake Obaasan could probably do some jobs as long as they didn't require a true master of the Arashikage. And if money was really tight, they could totally just offer to launder money through Soft Master's restaurant.
Additionally, the pacing seems... odd to me. The non linear flow of the story seems to add a great deal of confusion to the plot unnecessarily. The chapters at the moment do not seem to tell a coherent narrative, but that may just be because the story is unfinished. I would just warn you to be careful with this type of storytelling, as it can often lead to strange complications in the narrative.
Another thing adding to the disconcerting effect of the plot is a matter of focus. What is the most important story to tell? Is it Storm Shadow's father and his doings in the spirit world? Is it Jinx growing up? Is it Storm Shadows aspirations to be a teacher? There seem to be a lot of unconnected threads. Again, this may just be the fact that this story is in the middle stages, but at the moment the story seems to jump around without any kind of dramatic build up.
My last niggle is that Storm Shadow is generally driven not by an external code of honor, but more by an internal code of ethics. This may be difference in your AU, but I feel that it robs the character of some of the more interesting aspects of his personality.
On the other hand though, I do like your OC's! They add to the story a great deal and seem like believable characters with their own set of feelings and emotions. I think that this story fills an important part of the narrative previously left rather barren by previous canon, and I applaud your choice of setting. I was also impressed by the creativity of incorporating the non-corporeal into the story. I also immensely enjoyed most of the character interactions. This seems like a solid story to me, though I do think that it could use a little polishing to make it truly shine.
| Lady Jaye1 chapter 5 . 5/3/2014
Very nice! It was great to see the whole (dead) gang together and trying to ram a lesson through Tommy's head. Looking forward to more updates!
| tigerwolfspellbear chapter 5 . 5/2/2014
Pretty much agree with everything the last three said and don't really have anything original to add. I do like how hard it is for the spirits to communicate with the living and that they have to make the encounter as harsh and memorable as possible to make any kind of lasting impact. Also the fact that they seem to share the same "spirits? What spirits? I don't see any spirits" kind of attitude when alive. Dense Arashikage are dense (excluding those not related by blood).
| Greentigerr chapter 5 . 5/1/2014
Yesss! Finally! That was awesome!
I can't get enough of FM and Ayame. I just can't.
I want to hear more about that 'taste for the dramatic' Ayame has. And also everything else about her and FM. And the masters' bickering is hilarious, and poor Tommy is just squirming... It's great how it all ties in.
| willwrite4fics chapter 5 . 5/1/2014
Stop making me feel sorry for StormShadow. It's freaking out Lil Beachie.
Seriously, excellently written. Bit angsty, as a death/ghost confrontation scene should be, but not over the top, as it would need to be if it involved overly-dramatic SnakeEyes instead.
| Kusari-Gama 61602 chapter 5 . 5/1/2014
*uses paper bag to stop hyperventilating* This. Is. AWESOME! I don’t really see what you didn’t like about it. It was really good and I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Poor Tommy. He feels bad and it really shows. Didn’t Ayame die when Tommy was little? If she did, how does he remember her?
“Dead giveaway.” I didn’t even notice that that was a pun until Tommy acknowledged that it was. Then I facepalmed.
At first, I found the slap Hard Master gave Tommy funny, just because I find the mental image of Tommy being slapped funny, but then it got sad.
“He’s his usual adorable cuddly self.” Oh, Fearless Master. You never fail to amuse.
It’s almost sweet how FM, Ayame, and Soft Master are having a hard time giving Tommy... well... a hard time.
“If Tommy stayed dead, they would have eternity to calm him back down from the frenzy he would no doubt be in by the time they were done with him now.” Good luck with that if that happens. That would be one hell of a ‘frenzy.’ Would that technically turn him into a ghost, since he then has ‘unfinished business?’ Or does that not count after death?
Major ouch on the “the Arashikage is gone, and it died in shame.” That’s a little harsh, but necessary.
“And may I say that you’re really turning me on right now, dear? I love it when you’re lecturing.” BAD FEARLESS MASTER. VERY BAD. CORNER, NOW, AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID.
“‘And it’s not in your blood to fail,’ the Fearless Master added, buffing his nails.” Why... why you little arrogant... *facepalm* You little arrogant lovable ninja master, you.
“Yes, and you thought the best way to make up for it was to break HIS arm, too.” Nice job, FM. *clapclapclap* Brilliant. Good idea. How do you ever come up with such blindingly genius ideas?
“Tommy would be even less sane than he is if he had ever been in the habit of listening to you, Brother.” Ya know, FM, he’s right. Good thing crazy isn’t genetic. Or is it?
Wonderful, wonderful chapter. Nice to see the spirits kicking Tommy’s butt into gear, even if it’s a little harsh. FM is amusing and facepalm-inducing, as usual, and it’s nice to see Ayame again. Hopefully, you can update soon. :D
| Slytherin Studios chapter 5 . 5/1/2014
I love it, awesome job.