Reviews for Star Fox: The Stowaway
Shining Soul Fox Mcloud chapter 21 . 3/29/2013
Holy. Shit. This is by far the best story I have ever read. the main reason is that it actually got the blood pumping like it actually gripped me. Especially when Krystal got possessed. Furthermore this NEEDS to be made into a movie, its something I would watch every day. I look forward to seeing more and possibly a sequel, but considering the ending I doubt that'll happen. You sir, have earned my respect as well as a story and author favorite. this story is going to stay in my mind for months, as well as Krystal's possession scene playing in my mind over and over. Aaaanyway I should stop now before I make a complete wall of text.

-Shining Soul Fox
Xstar7 chapter 21 . 12/26/2012
You know what? This was an AMAZING story!
It's kinda sad That it ended, but all good things come to an end.

I think gonna cry. Anyways I am really thankful I read this! You are so good and talented. If this is your passion hell, I definitely go for it! If I were you I would definitely be hell bent on making a sequel! I so got to show this to my friends! Awesome work! You got any horror books I'll be hell bent on reading them!

Sincerely, Xstar7
Xstar7 chapter 9 . 12/26/2012
This FanFic is good so far! I like how you explain the horror. You are very good at it!

"He looks into your eyes and what
does he see? Fear! It makes him
obsessed with the bloodshed.
So he watches you, and he brings
you nightmares. There is no
Sandman to bring you a dream.
And he loves your paranoia. In fact
he likes red rum. He wants murder."

Some line from a random horror movie
Anonymous chapter 21 . 4/8/2012
I'd just like to let you know that takes a skilled author to take a concept as inherently silly as "robotic space ghost" and turn it into a genuinely gripping piece of writting.

Colour me impressed.
Cody Starwind-GC chapter 21 . 10/5/2011
Wow this is quite an interesting read its very exciting, although i see a few things of misunderstandings of some words that in lylat they would use.

Hah this story reminds me of a supernatural-thriller movie "Fallen" When Azazel was jumping from body to body singing the song "Time is on my side", man if Scales/Snag started humming something creepy, i swear that would had made my day, but anyhow the fact of the matter is you did well, the one thing that i found weird is the terminology of what the Lylatians would say for somethings, its kind of tough I understand, im gonna not use profanity in one of my stories.
dogman15 chapter 21 . 7/22/2011
Cool! I finished. Good ending. I'm glad I took the time to read your story. Thank you!
dogman15 chapter 20 . 7/21/2011
The passage "holding Fox firmly in their sites" should be "holding Fox firmly in their sights".

"made her heart beat a tattoo in her chest." That sentence doesn't end well, making it not make sense. "Beat a tattoo"? Try rewording that.

Anyway, this story looks to be like it's wrapping up very nicely. I wonder if it will be properly concluded in chapter 21?

I'm typing this review in Notepad offline away from home, and I'll paste it into the Review Window when I get home, so I don't know any of that yet.


Now that I'm home, I wanted to add something about the voices:

Since Snag used to be (General) Scales, I would expect his voice to be the same as or similar to Scales's voice. In Star Fox Adventures, Scales was voiced by John Silke, so the same guy could probably do a good Snag voice for you. (I have suspicions that John Silke also voiced King K. Rool in Donkey Kong 64, since both games were made by Rareware within two or three years.)

While I'm on the topic of voices, since this story is set after "Assault", everyone would have their "Assault" (or "Brawl", if unavailable) voice actors. Unfortunately, the most recent Star Fox game I've played is Adventures, and I keep hearing Steve Malpass's voice (which is very similar to Mike West's) in my head as I read your story, when I have to really concentrate to hear Jim Walker's voice. Estelle Ellis sounds so much like Al├ęsia Glidewell when they voice Krystal, so that's not an issue. Grant Goodeve and Jay Ward are also close matches for Wolf. David Scully and Jim Walker also sound similar for Leon. David Scully and Dex Manley for Panther? Check. It's just Steve and Jim who sound nothing alike. Do they expect me to believe that in one year, Fox's voice (and for that matter, Peppy's, Slippy's, General Pepper's, and Tricky's voices all got lower or different also?) Anyway, I'm rambling, just like you do in your chapter intros and outros. I'll keep/finish reading now.
dogman15 chapter 18 . 7/21/2011
"A human shield might come in handy."

While I understand why you chose that phrase, it doesn't make full sense in the context of this universe. An anonymous reviewer known as "rooster person" also brought this up.

The term "human shield" is part of our vernacular language. I have to admit, it would be challenging to come up with a phrase for the Lylat System that means the same thing, but doesn't use the word "human". Maybe "natural shield"? "Bodily shield"? Or just "living shield"? I think "living shield" would work best for the context of your story here.
Dogman15 chapter 16 . 7/21/2011
Two things:

1. How can you have a horizon in space if you're not on a planet?

2. I forgot. I'm on my 3DS and I'll log in on a computer if I remember what I wanted to say.
dogman15 chapter 12 . 7/21/2011
First of all, I'm in the middle of reading this story, and I'll finish it eventually.

Secondly, I find that your author's notes at the beginning of chapters tend to be a bit spoilerish. I don't like that. You're giving away some of the surprises before I read about them in the actual story.

Lastly, I went to saurian dot krystalarchive dot com and did some translation.

"baccheo nuj xojo" (as you have it in your text) means "killroe was hese"

"Killroy was here" should be "Bacche0 nuj xoho"

"Living of death" should be "Caladw ev toukx"

By the limited laws of this specific element of fiction, your story has a spelling/grammar error. Also, I think in the previous chapter, you forgot to capitalize Fox's name.

I sure hope this story has a positive ending. Please don't kill any characters, because I despise fan fictions that kill off canon characters.

Remember, constructive criticism means your reviewer is a happy reader enjoying the story. That means me. I'm enjoying it!
InsaneRussianBastard chapter 21 . 7/12/2011
strange ending
bryan mccloud chapter 21 . 7/12/2011
omg...from this chapter ending i could tell snag possess leon...that is easy to say man.

nice chapter.
ShadowMan90 chapter 21 . 7/12/2011
Was Leon going crazy or did he get a visit from Snag? It was a little hard to tell.

Also, how would no one recognize the Starwolf members? Surely with all their advanced tech, they'd have had face scanners or simple recognition from photos taken of the crew from before right? Here on Earth, there's no way you wouldn't be recognized by someone unless you were constantly wearing a mask due to said reasons.
Bullitx92 chapter 21 . 7/11/2011
two words for the end:

ho-ly shit...
Cpt.Fox chapter 21 . 7/11/2011
ooh nice twist there at the end. and, not saying i will, but someone could totally flame you for calling Fox a 'man' lol. But i understand what you meant when u said it.

Awesome story all in all, glad i stuck with it. i'm proud to have been one of the first 3 reviews for it. I know how draining it can be trying to finish a long story (i'm fixin to hang myself because of my 'For Her' story lol) and the fact that you held fast and finished it proves how great of a writer you really are.

Anything else you put up on the site i'll read and review. StarFox Fanfiction is far from dead, and we all need to keep supporting each other, regardless of how good or bad the story.

Have a good 1
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