Reviews for MY ISLAND
Rapid-Starr chapter 1 . 3/31/2011
Wow the loss of the Goddesses love, interesting concept! The story was a tad short and unless I was totally familiar wit the newer games (My girlfriend helped me) I would have been lost as to the events and where they were happening. Don't get me wrong, it was a good story, I just thought a bit more could have been added to define things. Good luck in the contest!
rongirl98 chapter 1 . 3/31/2011 That was amazing! Your choice of words were excellent and I loved the idea of your ONE-SHOT.

You were very descriptive, kept a smooth rhythm(Er, mood. Er, beat. Er-oh, I don't know! Hopefully you know what I mean.)and wrote it very well.

I loved it!
Angel Peach Blossom chapter 1 . 3/31/2011
I must say this is very good. Though up until the last part, I was a bit confused on which area we were in. Not to mention who is actually narrating.

I think this is written very well. You give good imagery, even though, like you said, it is on the short side.

I noticed one typo near the end of the story too. The word should be may and not my in the sentence 'Now we can only live in hope...'

As I said earlier, it does bother me a little that it never said exactly where we are. Or who is narrating. I'm actually sort of lost on that. Though after a while, considering a tree was mentioned, and then finally Mayor Hamilton, I finally figured out it was Tree of Tranquility. Since I clicked in through the link you left in the forum, I had no idea this was taking place on Waffle Island.

Also, the girl who is narrating... who is she? I'm actually confused over who is telling us this story. I admit that it is written well, and easy to picture. However, not knowing who is narrating kinda takes away from the story, at least in my eyes.

Nitpicking aside, this is still a good story. Good luck in the contest!