Reviews for If Spartan Six Lived
Lycaon117 chapter 6 . 11/3/2015
I just have a few suggestions because your making my favorite franchises look retarded. This is not a flame. If you think it it, stick it up your ass. The first suggestion is to stop acting like a five year old when it comes to criticism, you're not going to please everyone, STOP TRYING TO! The second suggestion is to not give up on a story because you lost inspiration. The third suggestion is more of a comment, He is spartan B312 not SPARTAN 006! HAVE A GOOD DAY!
Guest chapter 6 . 10/7/2014
You should keep going you asshole
Guest chapter 5 . 12/28/2013
...Wow. You're very mature aren't you? People point out flaws in your story so you could fix them, AKAcConstructive criticism, and you are offended by it? And then you cancel your story and call them jerks?

You know what, you don't deserve any constructive criticism. Let your story remain bad.
Guest chapter 2 . 12/28/2013
Ok, let me point out some mistakes:

Shiva missiles are in fact, atomic bombs. And how do those things fit in a Sabre? It's a 2 man starfighter, not a dropship with a large cargo bay.

So does the Sabre use an AI? Because you called the computer "he".

Phantoms don't use Plasma Torpedoes. And I'm pretty sure if it was a Plasma torpedo there wouldn't be much left of the Hangar.

Which brings me to another point: Using a Super MAC against a mere Phantom? Those things are strong enough to destroy Assault Carriers with a single shot, and firing one at a planet would cause irrepairable damage, and leave literally nothing left of Noble Six' corpse since they were so close to it.

Also, I'm pretty sure that by this point, the Covenant had taken out or disabled all the remaining ODPs.

Who dropped a grenade next to the elite? The elite itself? And who saw the explosion and heard the yell of the elite?

And how can those orbital platforms keep firing accuratly at such small ground targets without anybody painting them?

It's Aperture Science, not Aperature Science.
Guest chapter 1 . 12/26/2013
Ok, I'd like to make this clear: Noble six is NOT Spartan - 006 at all. Noble six is called that because they're the sixth member of Noble Team. Noble six is, in fact, Spartan - B312. Which means they're a Spartan III from Beta company.

So please do not call them "Spartan six", because it makes it look like you do not know anything about Halo.
fusrodafus chapter 6 . 8/30/2012
:(just do mc in apature
Sonixawesome chapter 6 . 3/24/2012
Oh. I really think that Chell and Wheatley should help Six escape and fight alongside Chief on Halo.

Just some cool-sounding suggestions.
Sonixawesome chapter 5 . 3/24/2012
I think that no matter what people say you should finish this



Oh, and if you finish it, could you by any chance make Noble 6 meet Chell? Was that already in the plan?
Kaijudospartan chapter 2 . 2/23/2012
Okay, I'm going to grace you with a review, partially because I think you're wasting your potential, and partially because I can't bear to see my two favourite franchises being screwed up like this. Now, if you think this is a flame, you can stop reading here. If, on the other hand, you wish to improve your fic writing, read on.

Firstly, remember you're on the Internet. What's the worst anyone can do to you, capslock you to death? If you want to write, keep writing. Don't make excuses for yourself by saying that you want to stop JUST BECAUSE of negative feedback. You're frankly doing yourself a disservice by saying that.

Now, as to the problems in your story, firstly, I'm going to point out, your chapter length. Short chapters loss of interest. Try to keep it above 1000. Also, noticed how I capitalised 'I' in 'Internet' above? You should always capitalise whatever names you refer to; i.e 'Sabre', 'Spartan', 'Six' etc. Also, remember that when a person is speaking, you begin the sentence they speak with a capital letter. And remember, be more descriptive of the environment and scenes. One does not simply mow down Elites in Halo. For that matter, a Super MAC would obliterate COUNTRIES. The target locator in Reach utilises the MAC rounds from ORBITING UNSC SHIPS. And not to mention, you fluctuate between present and past tense like a pinball. Pick one and stick to it. In chapter two, what are 'fife phantoms'? Or APERATURE SCIENCE? It's APERTURE science. And, set course FOR the ship, not TO it. Not to mention, if Noble Six's Assault Rifle was classified as unauthorised, wouldn't his/her armor be vaporised too? Try and think through before writing events.

Now, as I said, you have potential. The fact that you came up with these ideas is proof that you are NOT a moron. Please, try and bring up the standard of your writing to the standard of your ideas. Perhaps you'd find people more willing to accept your writing then. Good luck, and keep on following your path. With regards, Kaijudospartan.
Mr-Zax chapter 5 . 8/13/2011
If you want to continue this story just do it and ignore the people who are negative and don't give you ways to improve
The Nutty Squirrel chapter 5 . 8/13/2011
Well, i thought this story was good. Oh, well. Not my story
Invader jrek chapter 5 . 8/13/2011
WildCard-Yes Man chapter 4 . 6/26/2011
I'm sorry, but there's to much wrong with this story to be any good. 1) Shivia missles are Nukes. 2) his name is Noble Six not spartan Six. 3) a super MAC gun would be WAY to much over kill for a couple of phantoms. 4) a super MAC can cut strait through a fully sheilded Covenet Super Carrier, and if it were to fire on a group of phantoms it would dissolve them into atoms bassicly and then it would hit the ground. 5) Once it hit the ground it would kill everything within a mile, the reason everything within a mile would be vaporized is because when a 5000 ton depleayed uranium slug going 3/4 the speed of light hits the ground it's going to kill alot more than a couple phantoms, basicly Noble Six would die with the phantoms. 6) also the way you introduced Apeture was horribly presented and rushed. 7) the chapters are to short with not enough detail in them and ,as stated above, any detail you put in was bad or inacurate. The only thing that impressed me was the plasma pistol dissableing a thrusters. It's a good idea, but you've pressented it horribly. : /
RedVsBlue327 chapter 4 . 6/25/2011
Erm, nice effort. Your rushing things though and thats never good. Now for chapter one, the target locator would be useless outside of the planet Reach, since you need an Orbital defense station to fire the shots. Second is Noble six using a MAC gun to destroy the phantoms, while a very nice scene, impracticle. First if it was remote controlled, well noble 6 and 4 would be alive. Second the Sabre would've already been destroyed by one of all those Phantoms. Third the chances of the MAC gun being able to be remote controlled from a Sabre is even less likely. There are more mistakes I could go into but I'm sorta pressed for time. I think this storys biggest problem is being rushed like I menioned earlier, it always results in a story that could've been better. I like your ideas and effort though :) Maybe you can have Aperture an underground faucility on Reach Noble 6 manages to escape through, like the Shed at the end of Portal 2.
niggahigga impersanator2 chapter 2 . 6/17/2011
nice. this is great!
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