|Reviews for Nightfang Potter and the Cavern of Secrets|
| WolfSeverus chapter 2 . 11/27/2012
You made a mistake in Hermione's conversation.
| WyldClaw chapter 17 . 9/23/2012
oooooh! i could keep my eyes away from the screen . i felt i was right there with riddle and nightpaw during there fight
| WyldClaw chapter 6 . 9/18/2012
This was incredible! I could so picture the Yowler frightening the fur off of redpae! Gloryhound's fantastic too
| WyldClaw chapter 16 . 12/29/2011
incredible job! i can't tear my eyes away from the page
| WyldClaw chapter 15 . 12/29/2011
loved how you turned aragog into a massive fire ant
| WyldClaw chapter 10 . 12/29/2011
are you mousebrained in saying this wasn't a good chapter? it was fabulous! my fave parts (of which which there were many) included these:
Nightpaw made an inaudible noise in his throat and then hurried off after his friends. Not only was Gloryhound a hypocrite, but he also seemed to be quite a liar. He didn't have the shape of an AirBall-playing cat.
"I don't believe it," he hissed as the three of them inspected the signature on the note. "He didn't even look at the book we wanted."
"That's because he's a stupid mouse-brain," Redpaw snorted. "But who cares? We got what we needed!"
"He is NOT a stupid mouse-brain!" Fawnpaw squeaked shrilly as they ran toward the library.
Redpaw rolled his eyes. "Look, just because he said you were the best apprentice of the year doesn't mean..."
They dropped their voices as they entered the muffled quietness of the library. Madam Dustcloud Pince, the librarian, was a thin irritable brown she-cat who looked rather like a frail wolverine.
"Most Potent Potions?" she repeated suspiciously, trying to take the note from Fawnpaw. But the light brown tabby Angora mix wouldn't let go.
"I want to keep it, actually," she mewed breathlessly through a mouthful of note.
"Oh, come on," Redpaw sighed, pulling the note out of her jaws and handing it over to Madam Dustcloud. "I'm sure Gloryhound will give you another. That idiot will sign anything as long as it's in front of him for long enough."
As eleven a.m. approached, the whole school started to make its way down to the AirBall stadium. It was a clammy sort of day with a hint of thunder in the air while the sun shone a little bit through the clouds. Redpaw and Fawnpaw came hurrying over to wish their friend good luck as he entered the locker rooms. The team pulled on their scarlet LionClan robes, and then they sat down to listen to Treebranch's usual pre-match speech.
Then Treebranch began, "ViperClan has better wings than us, no point in denying it. But we've got better cats on wings. We've trained harder than they've done, we've flown through all kinds of weather..."
"True shit," Cherrynose muttered. "I haven't been properly dry since August."
"...and we're going to make them regret letting that little pile of fox-dung named Icepaw Malfoy buy his way onto their team!"
Chest heaving with emotion, Treebranch turned to Nightpaw while the team cheered. "It's up to you, Nightpaw, to show them that a Seeker can have something more than a rich father. You either get to that Pinch before Icepaw or die trying, because we've got to win today. We just have to."
"No pressure, Nightpaw," Berrytail meowed, winking at him.
"But the Budgers were protected in Clearwing's office since our last practice, and there wasn't anything wrong with them..." Treebranch meowed anxiously while Clearwing was approaching them. Over her shoulder, Nightpaw could see the ViperClan team jeering and pointing their tails in his team's direction.
"Look," he mewed as she came nearer and nearer. "With you two flying around me all the time, the only way I'm going to catch the Pinch is if it flies up my nose. Get back to the rest of the team and let me deal with the rogue one."
"Don't be stupid," Berrytail insisted. "It'll take your head off."
Treebranch was looking from Nightpaw to the Weasley twins.
"This is crazy!" Snowfall Spinnet meowed angrily. "You can't let Nightpaw deal with that thing on his own! Let's just call it a game for now!"
Nightpaw hissed, "No! If we stop now, we'll have to forfeit the match! And we're not losing to ViperClan just because of a crazy Budger! Come on, Treebranch! Tell them to leave me alone!"
Cherrynose turned to Treebranch and spat, "This is all your fault! 'You either get the Pinch or die trying!' What a stupid thing to tell him!"
But already, Clearwing had joined them. "Ready to resume play?" she asked Treebranch.
The LionClan Keeper looked at the determined look on Nightpaw's face and nodded. "All right. Fine then. Berrytail and Cherrynose, you heard him. Leave him alone and let him deal with the Budger on his own."
"You're in for a rough night, Potter," Poppyleaf meowed, pouring out a steaming cupful and handing it to him. "Re-growing bones is a nasty business."
So was taking the Bone-Gro. It burned Nightpaw's mouth and throat like peppers as it went down, making him cough and splutter. Still ranting about dangerous sports and inept teachers, Poppyleaf retreated, leaving Redpaw and Fawnpaw to help Nightpaw lap up some water. They had heard her sigh before she left, "What'd you expect? Grape juice?"
| Sounds of Snow chapter 18 . 12/10/2011
Loved it. Loved every second of it.
| Nova Lioness chapter 18 . 12/10/2011
Relief...warm, sweeping, glorious relief...swept over Harry. Leafpaw wasn't going to be exiled after all.
Shouldn't say Nightpaw instead of Harry?
Nice chappie can't wait for Nightpaw's 3rd year! When he is gonna get his warrior name!
| Nova Lioness chapter 17 . 12/9/2011
I love it! Please update it soon, also can you update your Avatar Cat Earth fanfic soon plz.
| Sounds of Snow chapter 15 . 12/8/2011
Yayz! Sorry. I've been super busy. Still lovin' your story.
| WyldClaw chapter 14 . 12/7/2011
beyond incredible chapter i wasn't having the best day but i read this chapter and i brightened right up! these were my fave parts / lines:
"You met Badgerstripe down Shadow Alley, didn't you?" Fawnpaw asked him. When he nodded, she asked him, "Well, what was he doing down there?"
"Buying a Flesh-Eating Snail Repellent," Nightpaw replied quickly. He didn't want to tell her how he had broken his tail.
The three of them fell silent. After a long pause, Fawnpaw voiced the trickiest question of all in a hesitant voice. "Do you think we should go ask him about it? He IS our friend, after all."
"Oh, that'll be cheerful," Redpaw muttered sarcastically. "'Hey, Badgerstripe! By the way, have you set anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?'"
"Mad and hairy?" Badgerstripe's voice made them turn quickly around. The huge black cat had an amused look on his face as he added jokingly, "Yeh're not talkin' 'bout me, are yeh?"
All three shook their heads. Then Nightpaw pointed his muzzle to a container he was carrying around his neck and asked him, "What's that?"
Badgerstripe looked down at it and replied, "Oh, that. It's that Flesh-Eatin' Snail Repellant I was hopin' ter buy. Well, se yeh later!"
"Perfect AirBall settings!" Treebranch cheered actively at the LionClan table, loading the team's plates with scrambled eggs and mice. "Nightpaw, liven up there. You need a balanced breakfast." To the team, he called, "We play our game today. BadgerClan doesn't stand a chance against us. We're stronger, quicker and smarter than them."
"Not to mention they're scared of Nightpaw and he'd Petrify them if he got near them," Berrytail added.
Treebranch looked between Nightpaw and Berrytail before meowing, "Well...that too."
edpaw shook his head, his blue eyes wide. Fawnpaw, however, stomped a forepaw onto the stairs.
"Nightpaw, I think I just learned something! I've got to get to the library!" And she sprinted away up the stairs in a hurry.
"What does she learn?" Nightpaw muttered distractedly. He was still looking around, trying to tell where the voice had come from.
"A lot more than I do," Redpaw replied, shaking his head.
Nightpaw felt confused now. "But why does she need to go to the library?"
Redpaw shrugged. "That's what she does. When in doubt, go to the library.
Badgerstripe gulped. "N-Not Alcatraz?"
However, before Fudgepelt could answer, there was another loud rap on the door. Silverstar got up and answered it. It was Nightpaw's turn for an elbow in the ribs, for he let out an audible gasp.
Blizzardclaw Malfoy was striding into Badgerstripe's hut, draped in a long black traveling cape, smiling a cold and satisfied smile. Marmaduke started to growl, which was countered by a cold glare.
His fur glowing white in the moonlight, the black-&-silver tabby meowed favorably, "Already here, Fudgepelt."
"What're you doin' here?" Badgerstripe spat furiously. "Get the hell outta my house!"
"Believe me, I take no pleasure in being inside your...do you call this a house?" Blizzardclaw growled, sneering as he looked around the small hut. "I simply called at the school and was told that the leader was here."
"And what exactly did you want with me, Blizzardclaw?" Silverstar spoke politely, but the fire was still blazing in his bright blue eyes.
"Dreadful thing, Silverstar," Blizzardclaw replied lazily, taking out a long scroll. "But the boards feel it's time for you to step down. This is an Order of Suspension; you'll find all twelve names on it. I'm afraid we feel you're losing your touch. How many attacks have there been now? Two more this afternoon? At this rate, there'll be no kittypet-borns left at the Forest, and we all know what an awful loss that would be."
"Now see here," Fudgepelt interrupted, looking alarmed, "Silverstar suspended? No, no That's the last thing we want."
Blizzardclaw looked over at him warily. "The appointment, or suspension, of the leader is a matter for the senates, Fudge. Since Silverstar failed to stop these attacks-"
Fudgepelt shook his head. "See here, Malfoy, if Silverstar can't stop them, who can?"
"That remains to be seen," the British Shorthair told him with a nasty smile. "But all twelve of us have voted —"
Badgerstripe leapt to his paws, his shaggy black head grazing the ceiling, as he roared, "And how many did yeh have ter threaten an' blackmail before they agreed, eh?"
"Yeh can't take Silverstar!" yelled Badgerstripe, making Marmaduke cower and whimper in his basket. "If yeh take him away, the kittypet-borns won' stand a chance! There'll be killins next!"
"Be calm, Badgerstripe," Silverstar told the gamekeeper sharply. He glanced at Blizzardclaw. "If the senates want my removal, I shall step aside."
"But..." Fudgepelt gasped.
"No!" Badgerstripe spat.
The silver-pelted leader did not take his bright blue eyes off Blizzardclaw's cold gray eyes. Then he spoke slowly and clearly so no one missed a word, "However, you will find that I will only truly leave this school when none here are loyal to me. Help will arrive at the Forest to those who seek it."
For a second, Nightpaw thought Silverstar's eyes flickered toward the corner where he and Redpaw were hidden. But he didn't say anything about it.
"Admirable views," Blizzardclaw told him, bowing. "We shall all miss your...very individual way of running things, Silverstar, and only hope your successor will prevent any...ah...killins. Shall we, Fudgepelt?"
He strode to the cabin door, opened it, and bowed Silverstar out. Fudgepelt, twitching his tail, waited for Badgerstripe to go ahead of him, meowing, "Come, Hagrid. Well?"
But Badgerstripe stood his ground, took a deep breath, and meowed carefully, "If anyone wanted ter find some stuff, all they gotta do would be ter follow the fire ants. Yep. That'd lead 'em right. Is all I'm sayin'."
Fudgepelt stared at him in wonder.
"Okay, I'm comin'," Badgerstripe grumbled, getting up and padding to the door. But as he was about to follow Fudgepelt through the door, he stopped again and added loudly, "And someone'll need ter feed Duke while I'm away."
congrats on your dog's puppies!
| WyldClaw chapter 13 . 12/7/2011
this was wonderful! i felt like i was right there.
i bet thistleheart, shortlegs and brokenfang wanted nothing more than to shove gloryhound's tail-wand down his throat
| WyldClaw chapter 1 . 11/18/2011
awesome, amazing start to what i am 100 percent sure will be a kick butt sequel!
| LarkspiritofForestClan chapter 12 . 11/17/2011
Your story is really cool! Please update soon! XD Your sisters' fiancé sounds like my brothers' girlfriend..
| WyldClaw chapter 11 . 10/28/2011
incredible chapter as always!
loved how you made up your own names for pasaltongue and parsalmouths: Serpusmouth & Serpusmouth
my fave lines/ parts were:
Fawnpaw's jaws dropped. "The Cavern of Secrets was opened before?"
Redpaw straightened himself up and meowed elatedly, "Blizzardclaw Malfoy must've opened the Cavern when he was at school here and now he's told dear old Icepaw how to do it. Yet I wish Bobby told you what kind of monster's in there, though. I want to know why nobody's noticed it sneaking around the school."
"Maybe it can make itself invisible," Fawnpaw spoke up, prodding leeches to the bottom of the cauldron. "Or maybe it can disguise itself, pretend to be a suit of armor or something. I've read about Chameleon Specters before."
"You read too much," Redpaw yawned, pouring dead lacewings on top of the leeches. Looking around, he asked in a confused way, "Tell me one more time. Why are we brewing this potion in broad daylight in a she-cats' restroom? Don't you think we'll get caught?"
Fawnpaw rolled her eyes. "No. No one comes in here often."
Redpaw frowned at her. "Why?"
"Oh." Then Redpaw crumpled up the empty lacewing bag and looked at Nightpaw. "So Bobby's the one who stopped us from getting on the train and he broke your leg." The black cat nodded and the ginger tom shook his head. "You know, if he doesn't stop trying to save your life, he'll get you killed."
"Silence! SILENCE!" Brokenfang roared. "Any cat splashed with the potion must come here for a Devaluing Draft! When I find out who did this..."
Nightpaw tried his best not to laugh as he watched Icepaw hurry forward, his head drooping with the weight of a nose like a small pink melon.
Nightpaw arranged his face into what he hoped was a baffled expression on his face. Brokenfang was glaring at him, and the bell that rang ten minutes later could not have been more welcome.
"He knew it was me," Nightpaw panted to his friends as they ran back to Carping Turtleneck's bathroom and sat before the pot. "I could tell."
Fawnpaw quickly threw the new ingredients into the pot and began to stir busily. "It'll be ready in a half moon," she purred cheerfully.
"Brokenfang can't prove it was you," Redpaw meowed calmingly to Nightpaw. "What's the worst he can do?"
As the potion stewed and bubbled, Nightpaw shrugged. "Knowing him, something bad."
There was a dazzling flash of red light and Gloryhound was blasted off his paws. He flew back off the stage, smashed into the wall, and slid down it to sprawl on the floor. Icepaw and some of the other ViperClan cats cheered. Fawnpaw, however, was dancing on her hind paws, trying to see the fight.
"Is he okay?" she squealed, horror in her orange eyes.
"Who cares?" Redpaw meowed loudly, laughing like a hyena.
Nightpaw couldn't take anymore. Clearing his throat loudly and shaking with rage, he stepped out from behind the bookshelves. If he hadn't felt so angry, he would have found the sight that greeted him funny. Every BadgerClan cat in front of him looked as if they were Petrified by the sight of him, and the color was draining out of Birchpaw's face.
"Um, greetings," Nightpaw meowed as calmly as he could. "I'm looking for Finchpaw."
The BadgerClan cats' worst fears had clearly been confirmed. They all looked awfully at Birchpaw and pushed him forward quickly.
"What do you want with him?" Birchpaw rasped in a shaky voice.
Nightpaw cleared his throat and began, "I want to tell him what really happened with that snake at the Fighting Guild."
The Exotic Shorthair bit his lips and then, taking a deep breath, replied, "We were all there. We saw what happened."
"Then you noticed that after I spoke to it, the snake backed off?" Nightpaw asked him.
"All I saw," Birchpaw replied inflexibly, though he was shaky as he spoke, "was you speaking Serpustongue and chasing the snake toward Finchpaw."
His black fur bristling with anger, Nightpaw snapped, "I did NOT chase it at him! It didn't even touch him!"
Birchpaw interrupted, "It was a clear miss." Then he added hastily, "In case you're getting any ideas, you can trace my family back through nine generations of Exotic Shorthair warrior cats and my blood's as pure as anyone's, so..."
"I don't give a damn about what blood you've got!" Nightpaw growled angrily. "Why would I want to attack kittypet-borns? Most of you are idiots, aren't you? I mean, one of my best friends is a kittypet-born, not to mention my own mother!"
"I heard you hate those kittypets you live with," Birchpaw retorted swiftly.
Nightpaw sighed and growled, "It's not possible to live with the Dursley cats and not hate them. I'd like to see you try. In fact, I'd like to see any of you try."