|Reviews for Galactic Risk|
| T chapter 3 . 11/11/2012
Luke is definitely not being OC
| Tahkaullus chapter 3 . 2/5/2012
Okay, honestly I should've picked up on that when I saw the name Antilles but, WHAT THE HELL IS LUKE DOING IN THE PREQUELS!
| hollownature chapter 7 . 1/29/2012
nice story i like how you worked luke into the story as the ultimate master. although i would like a bit of an explanation as how he went back in time if you do not mind.
| UnknownUnseenUnheard chapter 7 . 1/21/2012
I'm really starting to think this site hates me. It messed up the first time I tried to review. Strangely enough, this is the only story it has messed up on me. Luckily, however, I was smart enough to copy what I wrote before I hit send, so I just pasted it back in to the entire thing.
So.. Is Luke immortal or something? You've described him being on board the Endar Sire, with Revan, then described him participating in the Great Galactic War(I actually had to Google that one), then depicted him as meeting Darth Bane. That, and you also stated he went into Exile three times. Over the course of approximately four thousand years.
Meetra.. Kriea and the Triumvirate didn't kill her. She literally wiped them all out, from Nihilus to Sion, and eventually Traya, but then again, Traya had planned for the Exile to kill them all from the very beginning, so.. According to Wookiepedia, Meetra got stabbed in the back during an assassination attempt on the Sith Emperor. Personally, I was annoyed at the way they killed her, since I think she was stronger than that, but whatever.
Anyways, good chapter. Keep up the good work. Adios.
| xNINJABLADE45x chapter 7 . 1/21/2012
great work update soon
| UnknownUnseenUnheard chapter 6 . 1/14/2012
"The droids has just turned their prisoners down a quiet by when they were brought to an abrupt halt by the sergeant."
You should fix that. I notice every time I do these, but, as no one points them out, I usually just leave it there.
Something else I just remembered; Luke can't take on a droideka. You would think he'd kick ass, but, apparently, he has no idea how to take one down. He and Mara took one on in the ruins of an old massive spaceship which had been intended to start a colony in the Unknown Regions, and neither of them could break its defenses. In the end, they had to make a lightsaber blow up under it to finally kill it.
Also, you should make sure Ben doesn't become like a Mary-Sue. If he'd too powerful, then the story kind of looses what makes it interesting.
Also, is he a 1000 years old in this? " he hadn't felt that out of control in millennia."
That would suggest he is extremely old. Either that, or its still the time travel thing, but the way its written, it sounds like he makes Yoda look young.
Anyways, keep up the good work.
| UnknownUnseenUnheard chapter 5 . 1/12/2012
If Ben is Luke, the were did Luke's son go? Hmm.. Things to think about.
Something else I just remembered; why didn't any of the Jedi Council mention how Obi Wan literally abandoned the order? He had gone of and joined in some war on MeldiaI/Dan(spelling?) recently before the Phantom Menace. By the time Qui-Gon convinced him to join the Order again, the temple was in chaos after Qui-Gon's former apprentice, Xanatos, orchestrated an assassination attempt on Yoda. During the battle, Obi-Wan ended up 'killing' Xanatos's apprentice, Bruck Chun, who fell to his death while fighting Obi-Wan.
Of course, this is probably a useless detail, but its the most I can think of at the moment.
Mind you, I'm actually suppose to be paying attention in class right now, but as our teacher is incompetent and I haven't learned anything all semester, I'm ignoring it at the moment.
| UnknownUnseenUnheard chapter 4 . 1/11/2012
"If they find you they will crush you, grind you into little pieces, and blast you into oblivion." for some reason, that has always been my one of my favorite lines from the movies haha.
Now. Back to the story. 'Ben' crushed the transport with the Force. While I know he has the power, I'm not sure he would have done that. Mind you, I could be wrong, but here's the reason why;
During the war with the Yuuzhan Vong, he stopped using his powers as much. Quiet simply, he became scarred that if he continued to rely on the Force as much as he always had, he'd end up like Palpatine. his paranoia came from the fact that his constant use of Force energy was having a physical effect on his body. He didn't think he would go evil, but decided to keep it on the safe side.
But, of course, it's been years since I've read a Star Wars book, so I have no idea if he remained like that afterwords. I apologize if this seemingly random rant seems annoying.
There was something else I wanted to say but..
Okay, so Luke obviously ended up in the past somehow, presumably after he went into exile. Whatever he found tossed him back. Out of question, did he find some long lost remnant of the old Sith Empire that had some how survived? Perhaps frozen, some ancient Sith Lord locked in a statis(forgot how to spell that) or some other method to keep them in some form of animation? Just a random question..
Anyways, keep up the good work.
| UnknownUnseenUnheard chapter 3 . 1/9/2012
I would have reviewed this earlier, but Fan Fiction decided it hated me and stopped functioning O.o...
So. It's Luke..
And he apparently visited the Jek Jek Tar, so I'm guessing he somehow time traveled, not once, but twice. Once to get to the past, once to get back to the future, bu, apparently, he didn't make it all the way back or something..
You asked if he was acting OCC. To be blunt, he's too blunt. That rant he gave in this chapter? Wouldn't it make them more suspicious as to is true identity? Besides, the Sith have been under the shroud for nearly 1000 years at this point, after Bane had the rest wiped out, so why would they believe him without him having anything to back his claims?
While its a good story, it has a lot of plot holes, which happen to be the most annoying thing in the world to try an avoid. It needs to be edited, but, over all its good and I'm interested to see where it's going.
| UnknownUnseenUnheard chapter 2 . 1/9/2012
Antilles... So, he's either from Aldernaan or Corrilia(did I spell those right)
Hmm.. Black Jedi Robes. That reminds me of Luke, but you did say your character hadn't visited Tatooine in a milenia, so he has to be from the past. And ancient. Hmm..
Maybe whoever it is was stuck in a statis for all those years, so they didn't age at all? Either that, or time travel.
| UnknownUnseenUnheard chapter 1 . 1/8/2012
The 4000 year comment makes me think of Revan/Jedi Exile. Yes? No? Random guess, really.. Hmm.
Anyways, god so far.
| xNINJABLADE45x chapter 6 . 1/5/2012
great story so far
| t chapter 5 . 12/17/2011
I love this story! I think Antilles is Luke Skywalker! He seems to be his own type of character.
| Jedi Angel001 chapter 5 . 12/16/2011
Same old Jar Jar ,amusing the Masters but not Obi-Wan.
| Jedi Angel001 chapter 4 . 12/16/2011
Great could only be Luke Skywalker. He knew Obi-Wan as Ben, his pilot friend Wedge Antilles, he lost his rt hand
from a duel with his father and was saved by his Father from Sidious, and always wore black robes. Interesting how you are putting him in, he is so powerful definitely is a Skywalker.