|Reviews for Patience|
| Wrangler 2 chapter 1 . 10/14/2011
A promising start with great detail. I am anxious to read more of this story.
| viola555 chapter 1 . 5/29/2011
Just found your story. Hope you are planning on writing more!
| Leighawen chapter 1 . 5/15/2011
sounds interesting. :D
| Kelcor chapter 1 . 4/2/2011
I LOVE MacGyver! And I'm enjoying this story so far. Looking forward to more! :o)
| MacBedh chapter 1 . 4/2/2011
Nice start here. I had a few thoughts, since you asked for feedback:
The screwdriver tool on a Swiss Army knife is just called a screwdriver; you can use the simple description of it with confidence. If you need details of what tools are available on a standard Swiss Army knife, the information is available online. Can be very useful.
If the cabin is off the grid, it won't have a refrigerator. (And if it's that remote, it will be off the grid - unless it has a generator, in which case that will get MacGyver's immediate attention.)
Once you introduced the 'small paper bag' on the table, as a reader, I expected MacGyver to look inside the bag - even if the writer didn't tell me what was there just yet. You might be holding the bag in reserve for a future plot device, which is fine, but its presence is very obvious. If you want to divert attention from it, you'll need to 'dress the set' in more detail.
A person with MacGyver's woodcraft, in this kind of situation (that is, expecting to shelter in the cabin for any length of time), would go outside as soon as it was light and lay in a large stock of wood. He would know how to find wood that was minimally soaked, and would segregate it within the shelter so that it would dry out over the next several hours. It will take him only a few minutes to gather what wood is available inside the cabin.
He will also lay out his wet gear to dry as soon as he's under shelter. (Basic survival training.)
Nice sensory detail with hearing the broken glass crackling underfoot. You can riff on this to mention whether the windows are broken or not, and tie in the sense of draftiness in a visceral manner.