|Reviews for Harry Potter: the Serpent Lord|
| Digitize27 chapter 42 . 4/7
I'm going to be honest... you're losing me with all the interpersonal relationships here. No thirteen year old has it this complicated and it just seems like very unnecessary and forced tension for the sake of it, ultimately with no consequence. Harry acted very out of character, (not even canon character, but the one you have been building) And the girl's reactions (save Katie's) were extremely overblown; the very fact they would actually resort to such extreme violence is absurd.
Also, and this is more of a personal thing, the constant referral to people by nicknames or groupings like 'the vixens' is rather annoying.
| Digitize27 chapter 41 . 4/7
Wow, not even a second thought for Katie... Harry just went from hard to understand to a complete asshole (Pun intended)
| Digitize27 chapter 31 . 4/7
Why do you keep putting quote marks around the 'Leaky Cauldron'? It's strangely off-putting...
| Digitize27 chapter 25 . 4/7
You use scion just a little too much, enough that's it's noticeable.
Basilisks would not have Ovum, or eggs; as far as I understand from their breeding they are sterile creatures born from a toad sitting on a chicken's egg (not even joking, look it up). But this actually makes sense as they would be a crossbreed like a mule or a liger, both of which cannot give birth to viable young.
| Digitize27 chapter 23 . 4/7
If Harry knew anything about snakes (and if he didn't, Dumbledore or Snape should) he would know they cannot 'close' their eyes, for any reason. Snakes lack eyelids like mammals, they instead have a very thin scale that covers the eye like a thicker cornea. It allows them to quickly adapt to sudden changes in brightness, which means they do not blink and Harry's plan is useless.
Also I find it unlikely Harry has the internal knowledge of exactly how a Barrett caliber snpier rifle works to provide an accurate enough memory for Dumbledore to use.
| Digitize27 chapter 22 . 4/6
Okay, four instances in canon was already pushing it, but the six or seven you have here goes beyond coincidence; you seriously push my suspension of disbelief to have that many people indirectly meet the eye of the Basilisk.
| Digitize27 chapter 21 . 4/6
Medusa isn't a collective term, she was an individual, gorgon would actually be the collective term in the way you're using it. Gorgons aren't even a creature (although pop culture would have you know differently) it was the name of a group of sisters (three I believe, but don't hold me to that). You have it backwards.
Also Hagrid should have been apprehended a long time ago; there have been far more petrifications than in canon.
| Digitize27 chapter 17 . 4/6
There seems to be a whole lot of straight copying from the books as of late, and it's rather awkwardly obvious how much you're crow-barring Harry into certain situations despite what you've changed...
| Digitize27 chapter 16 . 4/6
For someone so interested in the medicinal side of magic, the dislike of hospitals seems unfounded; even canon Harry didn't care all that much.
| Digitize27 chapter 13 . 4/6
Firstly, Charlus Potter, not Charles Potter.
Secondly, i think you underestimate Wizarding money; eighteen galleons is £90, who pays more than£90 for three quills and a ball-point pen?
Also Harry had to spend nearly 3/4 of his YEARLY allowance, 1,400 galleons (£7,000) just to get a discounted Nimbus 2000? As if the thing would cost anywhere near that amount! It's 7 galleons to get a wand, arguably the most important magical tool a wizard can buy!
It's sporting equipment. Remember that Lucius, despite how supposedly rich his is, bought seven of the 2001 series at full price, I really don't think he would have done that if it put a dent in his account over 14,000 galleons (£70,000) just to make a point.
I shudder to think how expensive you think a Firebolt would be...
| Digitize27 chapter 10 . 4/6
That seems like a slightly rushed and contrived ending to the year... "And all damage done was fixed by a memory charm, thus nearly nullifying anything that happened that year"
| Leaf Ranger chapter 75 . 3/30
Wow. Just finished reading, and very impressive. I'll admit, I was upset at the relative lack of Ginny (I'm a HarryxGinny fan), but in the end, what you did with her was far better then what you could have done. Which was make her just as bad, if not worse, then her brother.
I do have to wonder who became Harry's second wife...I see two possibilities, but not sure about either of them. D
Anyways, wonderful work. *nods*
| evans16 chapter 75 . 3/25
I love this story!
| God of the Challenge chapter 56 . 3/15
was that patronus supposed to be Quetzalcoatl?
| ZandiiLii chapter 5 . 2/12
The plot of the story seems decent enough, but I just can't keep reading. I don't mind a few grammar errors here and there, but there's simply too many for me, the most annoying one being the fact that 'Gryffindor' is misspelled. Every time. If you'd go through the story and fix some mistakes you'd have a good story.