|Reviews for Harry Potter and The Veela|
| Astroman1000 chapter 2 . 9/27
time out the story is good and all but i'm 100% sure Blaise Zabini is a black dude sooooooooo... how's he a she with an assumably white, blonde haired older sister?
| Magus0096 chapter 25 . 9/22
Very nice vision of the HP universe. I do agree with you in regards to his JKR portrays Harry as weak and stupid. He depends on Hermione way to much and the "love story" with Ginny- Ugh!
I cannot stand that. I am loving this fiction and truly hope to see it finished.
| JustTheFan chapter 25 . 9/18
i am in love with this story! its been almost a year since its last update but i hope Z-Bond won't abandon/forget about this story!
| awesomeness-rocks chapter 6 . 9/14
Ugh. Rn this story is so bad. The Mary sueness burns me. Hopefully will get better.
| hunzbookwyrm chapter 25 . 9/11
Great story hope to see more soon really looking forward to it
| MissBella0134 chapter 25 . 9/11
i just read this entire story in one go
and i loved it
i really like your style in writing and you are really good in building up suspense and keeping the reader interested without being too obvious about it
i hope you plan on finishing this story as i really would like to read more
| hunzbookwyrm chapter 1 . 9/10
| Harrypotterfan228 chapter 22 . 9/10
Pleas continue to wright this story it is an amazingly written pice of work I'm dreading getting to last page and not have an ending
| Harrypotterfan228 chapter 15 . 9/9
I definitely think you should continue dating stories one of the best stories I've read in a while and it's got a man and amazing idea behind yeah I enjoy it very much I it's well written and it's really good read
| OOOOO chapter 8 . 9/5
HAWRYYYYY I LPOOVE ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
| Gamma Lead chapter 25 . 9/3
While I find this story to be quite interesting, you've managed to add so much in the last two chapters out of thin air (attempting to compensate by having flashbacks to introduce them), that it kind of falls flat. I am not saying that I dislike the ideas presented, but they would have been much better if they were interwoven with the story, rather than just suddenly dumped on it.
Case in point: headaches/nightmares. His self doubt was a small, one-off thing to show some weakness but was easily quashed (it's mention over and done with, within the same chapter: not well developed). It was however, (and I'm unsure if this was even the purpose) kind of a lead in for him to have problems that he thought he bested/controlled/got rid of, begin to reappear. So him getting the headaches in the past few chapters, even if they are kind of randomly tossed in, they fit the pattern. Then suddenly you have this organization with Yuri that randomly appears, with a flashback in the same chapter that was used to introduce it, that will probably be an answer to the issue that was kind of but not really also just invented...
Sufficed to say, I'm not much of a fan at the moment. Granted, this story needs to have an antagonist, and more difficulty for overpowered/superstar/found soulmate already Harry, something that Voldemort can't quite provide, at least yet, but this story could have benefited so much from integration of the plot devices being used. And while I'm not the poster-child of brainstorming, if I find something I want to add, I usually attempt to provide backstory for it.
As an example, on my main profile (sorry, too lazy to log in) I had a Harry/Ginny story which always began with a flashback. Each flashback brought forward more information, some things which were used in the story immediately (though usually small things) and, had I continued writing (I found shortly after starting that I rather hare Harry/Ginny) I was going to have big events and effects for magic and the bond that would be shown in the flashbacks, with the flashbacks in previous chapters providing a piece of the puzzle, and the main event flourishing several chapters later.
The point? I can hear you asking? Big changes to cannon (as this story started out as a butterfly effect with a few changes leading to larger ones, with everything still following cannon more or less), need to be prefaces in more than a short flashback, on the same chapter, right before the big addition. There were a lot of characters added without any real backstory, and now suddenly the #1 supermodel what was a love-interest conflict for Harry is his escort/guardian from the newly invented plot device (shadow organization)? It's a bit much, kills any real continuity and (for me at least) makes me lose interest. I used to like this story quite a bit. It was done tastefully, if not a touch gratuitously in Harry having everything. I liked the relationship building, the lack of intercourse right off of chapter 3 that a lot of Harry/Fleur stories have, there was real development of story ideas. These latest additions spit in the face of that, and as I said, makes me lose interest in the story.
I may check back on occasion to see how things go, as I still quite like the beginning, Rosy, meeting with Fleur, letters, etc. but beyond that...
| Lilithnocte chapter 3 . 8/31
...one tiny spec on my computer made a sentence in this seem totally out of place. literally 2nd to last paragraph said tucked her in for her nap... and due to the spec looked like a very interesting word that threw me for a loop like whoa whoa whoa wtf just happened?!... i probably shouldnt be reading at 6 in the morning xD
| Refraction of Light chapter 3 . 8/23
Just have to point this out. If the scores are like that it makes it seem that Davies and Harry aren't that great as chasers. narrowly winning and both times their side catches the snitch makes it seem that the enemy chasers are more than a match for them.
| Josh chapter 25 . 8/21
When will the next chapter be up?
| Guest chapter 3 . 8/17
You don't have to say 'Harry thought silently' I'd be impressed if anyone could do anything but think silently