|Reviews for Final Piece of my Heart|
| 15delgizzij chapter 18 . 9/12
The new idea looks pretty interesting, can't wait to see it.
| guess chapter 18 . 8/31
i think that you must leave discontinued this fic instead of deleted it, because many people like it too.
Besides you can post the rewrite separated of the original, many writers make this to preserve the original fanfic while they post the rewrite.
But this alternative only if you accept it, this is your fic after all.
| Zargon564 chapter 18 . 8/31
Hey now...why are you attacking your own story...that's my job...and...Seriouslly! I loved this story and now your telling me that you've stopped writing it! I'm about to blow a gasket. The story doesn't need to be believable. It's freaking Pokemon for Christ sake. It's all not really believable. And that's the beauty of it. It's supposed to bring people together...not have them all bowing down to it like its a god. This story should continue. Or I will find you and make you continue it...no...even better...I'll sick pikachu on you to do some convincing. With gaskets still intact, Zargon564!
| ChaosFox60 chapter 18 . 8/30
That was truly interesting, I have never read a time travel story with they pairing being ash and Latias. I do hope you do something like this cause this does sound interesting
| xtremeg80567993 chapter 18 . 8/30
are you going to do a rewrite?
| Lover of Pokemon chapter 18 . 8/30
hm. quite interesting. I look forward to this!
| Phoenix chapter 8 . 8/30
Now, you are going to go to Altomare. You will go to Latias and beg her for forgiveness for leaving her alone for so long. Now I know you still feel apprehensive about courting a pokemon, so you're going to take the relationship slow. You are going to date her, bring her flowers and chocolates, and all the other things males do to make a girl feel special. And most of all Ash, you are going to enjoy every second of it.' Espeon's face was now mere inches away from Ash's, and the glare he was giving was cold enough to make Ash's blood freeze.
'And Arceus forbid, should you dare try to run off or foist some excuse to try and get out of this, I will hurt you. Trainer or no, friend or no, I. Will. Hurt. You. I will make you scream. I will make you plead for mercy, and I will not stop, because no matter how much I hurt you, you've hurt Latias ten times worse than anything I could come up with, and that's saying something. Now, are we clear?' Too terrified to speak, Ash just barely managed to nod. Only then did Espeon get off of him, and let him rise.
*biggest jaw drop in the world *
| Foreman88 chapter 18 . 8/30
There is nothing wrong with being cliche, especially in this case because very few of the stories using the cliche are any good. Most have really bad grammar, don't know what plot is, and have never heard of a contraction. Because yours is one of very few stories that is actually good, I would say the cliches don't matter. But if you feel the need to start over, then I guess I will just have to wait for the redo. Thanks for the good story anyway.
| Phoenix is back chapter 3 . 8/30
"Hello, Pewter city gym, Brock speaking."
"Brock, it's Bianca. I need a huge favor. Help me out and I'll go out with you."
*multiple face palm*
| Assasinasha chapter 18 . 8/30
Okay, what to say...
First off, extend the deadline. Make it three days, a week would be preferable. Not everyone can check their updates daily so giving them a grace period would be the best. Especially if in three days they click the link in the e-mail and find an error about missing story or some such.
Second... I'm not sure of this development. Don't get me wrong, I loved this story and I'm sad to see it go. Despite its flaws it was still a good one. But that new blurb... I am really not keen on wiping Alto Mare (just checked and apparently that's how you write it. Huh, live and learn I suppose) off the map. That's... a new world of harsh, especially when, if I recall right, Annie and Oakley found the Garden by following Ash, who was following Latias. Before that, the defensive camouflage was implied to be impervious for many long years. And Latias wouldn't make the mistake of being out in the open again. She lost her brother because of it. She wouldn't sequester herself, but I think the walks about in a disguise would be over.
Then again with the two thieves out in the world... you would have to make it sound as if someone tortured them for info, as they don't strike me as the type to brag about their failures or about such secret knowledge in general. And since you want the new guys to be competent enough to somehow find the place but incompetent enough to start arguing in the middle of an operation... yeah, not helping my suspension of disbelief. Well, maybe the Dew has some properties like this? Dunno, just had this (badly thought out) idea.
You'll also have to ignore the additional pair of Eons that showed up in the movie, but that's what almost every Altoshipper does anyway, unless they're used to rationalize Latias leaving with Ash. ;P
That said, I will give it a chance. We'll see how it goes.
Though since you don't want cliches, I would consider it one if Ash didn't know about that tragedy. Goodness knows some people have him forget what day it is. Deep focus is one thing but tunnel vision is another. He also better treat her accordingly to what she lived through. Obliviousness would not fit the theme here.
Heck, I expect the whole world to notice the loss. A devastation of this magnitude is not something that would ever be regionalised. I'm not entirely sure if Alto Mare being a vacation spot is canon, but I would imagine it being so. They can afford all the things and they don't seem to have much industry. That leaves tourism. And our world would know with a vengeance if, say, one of the Carribean islands got wiped out. True, it's not our world, but still.
Though please don't take it all as me telling you what to write. I'm just a bit upset that a good story goes down and I tend to ramble like that when I care enough. I won't download what's left here, though. You want it gone, I will not make a copy. Respecting author's wishes is something too little people do these days. Heck, I'm one not to from time to time. But, I try.
Welp, rambling time over. Just do what you feel you need to do. That's what usually goes well for competent people and you seem like one.
Keep up the good work!
| SpixPrime chapter 18 . 8/30
Now I have enjoyed ever aspect of the story you have produced for us so far. Yes there were some cliches used but you engineered them Beautifully to make it not feel like a cliche. I understand however your desire to improve your work and will support you all the way. After reading this prelude to the direction you want to take.
You have my support with this direction. I am already very curious in and interested to see where this will go. I do believe this will go to be an even more interesting story. One request though. Please keep Espeon on the team. Aside from being from favourite eeveelution, I love the character you have made for ashs Espeon. That is my only request.
I look forward to the start of something new.
Fellow author Spixprime
| xtremeg80567993 chapter 2 . 8/16
does Ash have a jolteon
| TekExplorer chapter 17 . 5/13
| falsewarrior chapter 17 . 4/6
i like it!
when are you going to get the next chapter out?
| Metldragon chapter 17 . 2/27
This is getting really good in my opinion and I would love to find out what is going to happen next