|Reviews for Final Piece of my Heart|
| Guest chapter 10 . 3/9
How could you say no to Cynthia? If pokemon relation ships are illegal I don't know how that isn't.
| Verdauga chapter 9 . 2/25
Please, quit making me cry. You're too good at it.
| Electron97 chapter 9 . 1/9
Team rocket. I'm dieing. ROFL.
| yoy56 chapter 9 . 1/4
that team rocket thing was hilarious after reading just Jessie's first line I thought "oh ash has a maid?" then after the second I thought "oh no wasn't team rocket destroyed?" then I finally figured out that they are the cleaning crew lol
| yoy56 chapter 4 . 1/3
I like the story you gave for ash's father in all of the stories I have read and theories on who is ash's father (take it that a have only seen one or two theories on that but) I have never heard of the possibility that she was raped (even though it is one of the biggest possibilities out there only under the theory of ash's father died)
| AtomicGeneral25 chapter 18 . 9/12/2016
The new idea looks pretty interesting, can't wait to see it.
| guess chapter 18 . 8/31/2016
i think that you must leave discontinued this fic instead of deleted it, because many people like it too.
Besides you can post the rewrite separated of the original, many writers make this to preserve the original fanfic while they post the rewrite.
But this alternative only if you accept it, this is your fic after all.
| Zargon564 chapter 18 . 8/31/2016
Hey now...why are you attacking your own story...that's my job...and...Seriouslly! I loved this story and now your telling me that you've stopped writing it! I'm about to blow a gasket. The story doesn't need to be believable. It's freaking Pokemon for Christ sake. It's all not really believable. And that's the beauty of it. It's supposed to bring people together...not have them all bowing down to it like its a god. This story should continue. Or I will find you and make you continue it...no...even better...I'll sick pikachu on you to do some convincing. With gaskets still intact, Zargon564!
| ChaosFox60 chapter 18 . 8/30/2016
That was truly interesting, I have never read a time travel story with they pairing being ash and Latias. I do hope you do something like this cause this does sound interesting
| xtremeg80567993 chapter 18 . 8/30/2016
are you going to do a rewrite?
| Lover of Pokemon chapter 18 . 8/30/2016
hm. quite interesting. I look forward to this!
| Phoenix chapter 8 . 8/30/2016
Now, you are going to go to Altomare. You will go to Latias and beg her for forgiveness for leaving her alone for so long. Now I know you still feel apprehensive about courting a pokemon, so you're going to take the relationship slow. You are going to date her, bring her flowers and chocolates, and all the other things males do to make a girl feel special. And most of all Ash, you are going to enjoy every second of it.' Espeon's face was now mere inches away from Ash's, and the glare he was giving was cold enough to make Ash's blood freeze.
'And Arceus forbid, should you dare try to run off or foist some excuse to try and get out of this, I will hurt you. Trainer or no, friend or no, I. Will. Hurt. You. I will make you scream. I will make you plead for mercy, and I will not stop, because no matter how much I hurt you, you've hurt Latias ten times worse than anything I could come up with, and that's saying something. Now, are we clear?' Too terrified to speak, Ash just barely managed to nod. Only then did Espeon get off of him, and let him rise.
*biggest jaw drop in the world *
| Foreman88 chapter 18 . 8/30/2016
There is nothing wrong with being cliche, especially in this case because very few of the stories using the cliche are any good. Most have really bad grammar, don't know what plot is, and have never heard of a contraction. Because yours is one of very few stories that is actually good, I would say the cliches don't matter. But if you feel the need to start over, then I guess I will just have to wait for the redo. Thanks for the good story anyway.
| Phoenix is back chapter 3 . 8/30/2016
"Hello, Pewter city gym, Brock speaking."
"Brock, it's Bianca. I need a huge favor. Help me out and I'll go out with you."
*multiple face palm*
| Assasinasha chapter 18 . 8/30/2016
Okay, what to say...
First off, extend the deadline. Make it three days, a week would be preferable. Not everyone can check their updates daily so giving them a grace period would be the best. Especially if in three days they click the link in the e-mail and find an error about missing story or some such.
Second... I'm not sure of this development. Don't get me wrong, I loved this story and I'm sad to see it go. Despite its flaws it was still a good one. But that new blurb... I am really not keen on wiping Alto Mare (just checked and apparently that's how you write it. Huh, live and learn I suppose) off the map. That's... a new world of harsh, especially when, if I recall right, Annie and Oakley found the Garden by following Ash, who was following Latias. Before that, the defensive camouflage was implied to be impervious for many long years. And Latias wouldn't make the mistake of being out in the open again. She lost her brother because of it. She wouldn't sequester herself, but I think the walks about in a disguise would be over.
Then again with the two thieves out in the world... you would have to make it sound as if someone tortured them for info, as they don't strike me as the type to brag about their failures or about such secret knowledge in general. And since you want the new guys to be competent enough to somehow find the place but incompetent enough to start arguing in the middle of an operation... yeah, not helping my suspension of disbelief. Well, maybe the Dew has some properties like this? Dunno, just had this (badly thought out) idea.
You'll also have to ignore the additional pair of Eons that showed up in the movie, but that's what almost every Altoshipper does anyway, unless they're used to rationalize Latias leaving with Ash. ;P
That said, I will give it a chance. We'll see how it goes.
Though since you don't want cliches, I would consider it one if Ash didn't know about that tragedy. Goodness knows some people have him forget what day it is. Deep focus is one thing but tunnel vision is another. He also better treat her accordingly to what she lived through. Obliviousness would not fit the theme here.
Heck, I expect the whole world to notice the loss. A devastation of this magnitude is not something that would ever be regionalised. I'm not entirely sure if Alto Mare being a vacation spot is canon, but I would imagine it being so. They can afford all the things and they don't seem to have much industry. That leaves tourism. And our world would know with a vengeance if, say, one of the Carribean islands got wiped out. True, it's not our world, but still.
Though please don't take it all as me telling you what to write. I'm just a bit upset that a good story goes down and I tend to ramble like that when I care enough. I won't download what's left here, though. You want it gone, I will not make a copy. Respecting author's wishes is something too little people do these days. Heck, I'm one not to from time to time. But, I try.
Welp, rambling time over. Just do what you feel you need to do. That's what usually goes well for competent people and you seem like one.
Keep up the good work!