Reviews for A Ronmantic Proposal
Magic Flying Spud chapter 14 . 7/11/2012
This has the structure of an actual episode. Cute, funny, smart, etc. Great job. )
Basil Allegri chapter 14 . 6/23/2012
Very nice. Bloomin' brilliant. You got everyone's characters spot-on. Very appropriate to have Ron finally ask her while they were chained to a wall, almost a deja vu moment.
DarkRoseRay chapter 14 . 5/21/2012
that was... beautiful. keep writing.
purplegirl761 chapter 11 . 2/17/2012
Oooh, the plot thickens! *rubs hands together madly* And, yay, it looks like Kim and Ron are going to get the chance to. . . well, I was going to say reconcile, but they haven't really been fighting. . . I guess to talk through the issues they've been having.

The Black Jade Monkey surprised me. I believed that Ron's nervousness was what was hindering his MMP - well, that, maybe in combination with Drakken's plant powers, so that really threw me for a loop. Good decoy...ing. . .

The Drakken fangirl in me has to note how well you write for him, too. From his sadness when Shego mocks him to the little noises he makes when he's frustrated to his smug ranting - I could picture it all. Though taking Ron's pants was low, even for those two. . .

Miscellaneous:

*I liked that Ron could remember exactly how old he was when the treehouse was built. Don't know why; it just stuck me as cute.

*Ron "knew the ring wasn't the most beautiful thing in the world, because he was staring at the person who was". Now, that may have been the sweetest thing I've read today.

*Kim's concern over Ron not telling her about his nightmare. The tension is really getting stretched to the breaking point here. I accidentally read ahead and saw that the first part of the chapter was a dream - probably a blessing in disguise, cause that scene could have very well scent me into cardiac arrest had I thought it real.

*"'Riiiiight. That's why we're currently ruling the world - oh, wait. We're not.'" Totally Shego, LOL.

*"Drakken's enthusiasm was not dampened by her lack of the same." That made me happy. It just sums up the two of them perfectly.

*"As both of them gave in to the siren call of unconsciousness, neither heard the other whisper, 'I'm sorry.'" That was a really cool word-picture. . . and it gives me hope that Kim and Ron will be able to work this out soon.

Sorry to hear about the gallbladder. That's gotta stink. :(
RonHeartbreaker chapter 14 . 2/5/2012
Outstanding story. Truly. Technically flawless, tightly plotted, sweet and suspenseful and humorous all together. Lovely touch there with the Ron-Drakken parallelism. Thanks for the great read.
RonHeartbreaker chapter 13 . 2/5/2012
Well played, PJC, well played, as Ron reasserts his essential distract-itude.

"Multitask!" Snort.

Sweet Drakken-Shego moment there as he saves her.

I'm truly impressed with how elegantly you managed to recapitulate almost every mythical moment in the K/R relationship.
RonHeartbreaker chapter 12 . 2/5/2012
I teared up. Yay! Finally. You really brought it to the breaking point and splendidly recapitulated the catharsis of the "Out there, in here" moment.

"Pants?" Brilliant! Now Shego's moping around the last couple of chapters makes more sense. I had the feeling that something was up but it wasn't clear what. And i could totally believe that she and Drakken would have communication problems. My god, how could they not?

Very excited for the denouement.
RonHeartbreaker chapter 11 . 2/5/2012
"What?" she asked. "Oh, you're serious!" Nice invocation of Clean Slate, there.

The parallel musings are good; you've given each of them good reasons to doubt themselves. But for heaven's sake please give us a little resolution soon! Though, as long as they don't have their heads in the game, i don't see things picking up.

Furthermore, I do _not_ like Drakken's competence. Puts the whole world out of whack. And now he's got the ring!
RonHeartbreaker chapter 10 . 2/5/2012
You know, this could be a comic - if tragic - romp, but the repeated successes of Drakken and Shego give it a slightly more sinister flavor, because it's just as likely as not that in the next chapter Our Heroes are going to get humiliated by them again. So there's a tonal dissonance to the piece that isn't present in some of the other stories I've read that stretch out the "get-together" (a la, if I'm not mistaken, Commander Argus' "It Finally Happened" - although it's been a long time since I've read it).
RonHeartbreaker chapter 9 . 2/5/2012
Aighh! Just propose already! I mean, when you need to get romantic advice from _the Tweebs_, you gotta change direction. Stop it, Pinky Jo, your twisting the knife is freaking with my head! I see you've fallen back on a traditional trope of the thwarted romance - the couple don't trust each other enough, even after all this time, to be honest with each other and do what comes naturally. Bad consequences follow. Bummer. But I bet they'll overcome all that within a few chapters. BTW, all the ways in which the proposal has been derailed so far are perfectly in sync with the KP universe, even if the characters are a little older and dealing with somewhat more mature issues.
RonHeartbreaker chapter 8 . 2/5/2012
From bad to worse. You're killing me here! The combination of Ron's demoralization (at sweet little Hana's hands, no less!), Kim's self-doubt, and the ass-whupping that they're getting from Shego _and Drakken_ is hard to watch. I mean, read.
RonHeartbreaker chapter 7 . 2/5/2012
Oh no!

Nothing else to be said here. Sure, I could compliment your flawless writing and the way you perfectly capture the characters, even if it is a very unfamiliar sitch for most of them. But you knew that already.
RonHeartbreaker chapter 6 . 2/5/2012
Thrown off, indeed. Drakken actually capable of battling is a problem, if Ron isn't - and, whatever the reason, he isn't. Losing in such a humiliating fashion, coupled with the confidence-shattering reaction of the museum curator, certainly sends what had been a sweet romance-fest (albeit one full of foreboding) on a 90-degree angle into something else entirely.

I do like the idea of both sets of parents plotting together.
RonHeartbreaker chapter 5 . 2/5/2012
Ooops! Meant to add to the last review: Vogue Rogue is good, but Hem Fatale is gold.

Outstanding flashback w/r/t the Moodulator. You have a knack for elegantly and cleanly capturing the nuances.

Heartbreaking about the interrupted proposal. Good recovery on Ron's part w/ the contact lens line(s), but still…rule #27 of fanfic: engagement delayed is engagement denied!

Uh-oh indeed.
RonHeartbreaker chapter 4 . 2/5/2012
Love this line: "For a moment Ron wondered if he had actually even said the words that he thought he had, or if what had come out of his mouth had actually just been pure gibberish." And also love MrsDrP's glee. Spot-on.

Ok, this chapter really kicked it into higher gear. Great scene w/ Ron & MrsDrP in which she boosts his confidence. A very natural-feeling Kim-Monique conversation. I'm also pleased to see a writer of your caliber address the classic "what becomes of Team Possible if Ron ever masters his monkey powers" question. Overall, after a couple of slowly-building, mellow chapters, things are starting to get meaty. My only qualm: for a superhero whose stock-in-trade is figuring out the villain's scheme in no time flat, she's pretty obtuse about Ron's monkeyshines.
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