Reviews for Heroes, Bonds and Darkspawn
Guest chapter 2 . 6/16/2013
Hey you got a pretty good story here. It's a shame that it isn't completed though.
Nye Terra chapter 2 . 9/5/2012
Hi,

Compared to your previous chapter, this one seems to be purely dialogue. I understand that with eight different characters it's difficult to get your audience to become attached to all of them. But you have to be careful to take your time and describe them physically, and describe the scenery. In this chapter, I got the feeling that you were just telling me "and then, and then, and then." Description will really help with the flow.

Another bit of advice would be to not rush through the fighting scene. I think most of the reason for the success of the show was the fighting more than anything else. Definitely use that.

You've got a unique idea, I never would have thought to mix these two stories together. I know you can go farther than 2 chapters, so unless you've found inspiration elsewhere, keep it up. :)

Best of luck.