|Reviews for Strife of Vampire|
| Alphay1 chapter 23 . 11/3/2014
This story was AMAZING. Read it within a entire night. If you are still writing things, make a extra chapter with a "week later" kind of thing, because I want to see how everyone is doing. I rate this 10/10, keep up the good work!
| NigmaE chapter 23 . 12/18/2013
What a sad ending... but not all stories end with smiles and rainbows. You did a good job on everything, really. Charaterization spot on, interesting plot that's a bit disconnect, but that's fine, as well as amazing battle sequences. I can't find much to fault on this, other than the fact that the Skyler was a bit of an jerk, but that got sorted out in the end. Too bad the ending doesn't allow to see what might lay in store for him, other than this, but the ending isn't bad. Just very, very tragic and saddening, but all the more beuatifull for it. Thank you for such a wonderfull treat, author.
| Nettlebane chapter 1 . 5/16/2012
Soooo, I was playing Assassins Creed II...
And realized that, for whatever reason, Desmond reminds me of Skyler.
Just thought I'd let ya know.
Oh my god, he's a vampire assassin!
This explains EVERYTHING!
| Nettlebane chapter 23 . 5/10/2012
Given that this is the final chapter of SoV, I'm just gonna give a quick review of the story as a whole and point out some things I think could be improved.
1. Stay on track, try not to stray from the original storyline. Your summary, and subsequently the overview of the plot of your story is written: "After some how being captured by the United States military, Remilia has been rescued by a young man. Weakened and on the run, she tries to find her sister and return to Gensokyo while the military tries to recapture them." That being said, really the story could have ended at chapter 6, instead you dragged out the conclusion and lost the storyline in the "life and times of Skyler and Flan." Stay on track!
2a. Characterization and development. In general, your characters are not very interesting. Every character you introduce into the story serves a purpose, show the reader how and why! Giovanni has the potential to be a truly amazing character, but we don't get that from reading because we know absolutely nothing about him. Add some depth to your characters to help us to empathize. Truly great characters are grey, not black and white.
2b. Avoid Sues. You obviously really like making your own character, that's fine. You already know my opinion of Skyler so I'm not gonna go into that. I recommend taking the Mary Sue Litmus Test before inserting your characters into a fan story. This will help you to see past yourself and make more interesting characters with limitations.
3. Avoid relationships that serve no real purpose (this can include humor). Now, I'll be the first to say that RemiliaxFlandre is one of my favorite Touhou pairings. Still, as much as it pains me to say, the RemiFlan implications in this fic serve no real purpose. Really it just feels like fanservice which detracts from the quality of the story. Same goes with the SkylerxFlan, SkylerxRemi scenes.
That being said, overall, I enjoyed the story... I feel you have the potential to be a great writer, which is why I'm so hard on you as a critic. You managed to keep me interested enough to see this story through 'till the end, despite my opinion of OC's in Fanfiction. You did a pretty good job keeping everyone in character, which is great, and were able to draw a variety of emotional responses from the reader.
I hope my critiques up to this point haven't discouraged you as a writer.
Keep up the good work, I'll be interested to see what you come up with in the future.
| PC20XX chapter 23 . 5/1/2012
Man, this story was intense. It was touchy, relaxed, and funny on some parts, but the end was where it all piled up together.
When I read the title of the last chapter, I didn't want to believe what was going to happen. But it happened. I'm a sucker for happy endings so I was disappointed when seeing that Skyler died. The impression that he left on Remilia and Flandre should compensate for his unfortunate death.
Still, I feel like I'm missing something. What happened to Marisa and Sakuya or the rest of the gang at the mansion?
Grammar problems? Just a few confusions here and there like "grown" for "ground".
What I liked about this story is the detail put into the action. It really made it shine throughout. The bond between Remi and Skyler was pretty good. I thought they would get together after reading that bit about Remi offering her neck to him as a reward. Flandre and Skyler was like a pair of siblings. Yeah, Flan wanted to find out more about him in the library, but that was probably just her curiousness from not seeing a guy that often. The story started diving straight into action and ended with action leading back to that start.
Overall, I think this story was a winner. It had me pissed at some parts and laughing at others. One year of writing? Props to you for your dedication to sharing this piece. And thanks for putting up this story in the first place!
| Crazy Scion chapter 23 . 4/26/2012
I was foolish to believe there would be a happy ending from you, but I don't regret hoping for it, maybe next time.
| Noble Endeavor chapter 23 . 4/26/2012
SKYLER DIED? I JUST HOPE FOR HAPPY ENDING! NOOOO!
uhhh Extra Chapers Please? lol
| ColinatorGX chapter 23 . 4/26/2012
/Darth Emo Mode
T-T Damn it Skyler.
| darkhero what must be done chapter 23 . 4/26/2012
damn it I hate depressing endings like these... wait a second this touhou and when ever something dies in touhou one of three things allways happens to it it goes to shiki, it meats the ghost queen, or it reincarnates as a youkai.
| Morpheus9494 chapter 8 . 4/4/2012
I just wanted to say how much I love the Danmaku thingy, you did a great job of morphing it into magical ability stuffs and not a video game.
And I love this fan-fic. It's the first Touhou one I have read :D
| Nettlebane chapter 22 . 4/3/2012
I have absolutely no idea what's going on anymore. XD
What happened to Giovanni's daughter? She died, obviously, but how? How did Giovanni hear about Yukari the Gap Youkai, and the Scarlet family? Why target the Scarlets if it was Yukari he resented? Remember, it's the little details that add depth to a character. Plus, it makes the story more interesting and easier to follow.
Which would be helpful considering how confused I am right now.
The alien-thing confuses me. EX Skyler confuses me. EX Giovanni suddenly becoming a pussy confuses me. How Marisa, Reimu, and basically all the other none European characters Skyler comes in contact with, speak English confuses me.
| ColinatorGX chapter 22 . 4/3/2012
Oh great, he's lost it. KICK HIS ASS BACK INTO GEAR REMI!
I will also add that it was very sweet when Skyler embraced Remi in happiness of it all being over. Shame she went Tsun right then. :P
Preserve Skyler, and you will still be able to see the Dere!
| GexAlmighty chapter 21 . 3/27/2012
Very nice chapter, its about time that skyler showed some respect to lady remillia.
im still reading, so you keep on posting.
| MUS3 chapter 21 . 3/11/2012
Finally, Holm and Knoll got what was coming to them. I'm so happy that Remilia didn't show any mercy and brutally ended their lives. It was also nice to see Skyler maturing a little bit and submitting to Remilia.
Can't wait to see what's coming up next!
| Nettlebane chapter 21 . 3/11/2012
SkylerxRemi is a helluva lot less creepy then SkylerxFlan. I like the interaction between these two, it's very endearing.
And THANK THE LAWD! You toned down the whole Skyler 'Gary Sue' thing. You knocked him back down to reality and put him in his place. You exploited his physical limitations to add some actual depth to his character, very nice! He's still got quite a bit of Sue in him (19 chapters worth...), but really, this chapter alone makes Skyler a relatively interesting and likable character. Great job, I'm really happy to see you working to improve :)
Aside from that, I don't really have much else to say. The beginning of the chapter felt a little awkward but I have a killer headache right now and don't feel like elaborating... Sorry for the cop out... Really I just wanted to let ya know how excited I was to see you work with Skyler.
Anyway, wonderful job, keep it up!