Reviews for The Teen Titans & The Incredible Hulk
Junior VB chapter 2 . 7/4
Quiero leer más.
I want to read more.
Junior VB chapter 1 . 7/4
Buen inicio.
Good start.
Alexis0415vt chapter 2 . 7/1
Continue it was so good!
kyle chapter 2 . 9/18/2014
What the hell? it just ends here. you should continue your story.
the missing link chapter 2 . 4/14/2014
aw man and it was just getting good
silverwolf chapter 1 . 11/19/2013
so will the beast within make an appearance
Moonlesscat chapter 2 . 6/9/2013
You spell Authur wrong. It's spelled Author. Not wanting to be rude.
KhaalidaNyx chapter 2 . 4/8/2013
I sense chaos! Update soon! This is getting interesting!
Dan chapter 1 . 4/2/2013
great story! can't wait to read what happen next. pleas update.
ButterflyMist chapter 2 . 1/2/2013
u seriously need 2 updat, like, NOW!1
Dat guy chapter 2 . 12/16/2012
CooL , what does bbrae stand for does it mean , beast boy romance and ect ?
Zak Saturday chapter 2 . 8/8/2012
Your story came with quite a shocking beginning. Poor Rae... hopelessly confused.
Guest chapter 2 . 7/24/2012
Wow Ravens a real bitch in this story.
Power345 chapter 1 . 6/11/2012
Dude that was awesome cant wait for the Hulk to show up but man I almost cried for Beat Boy keep up the good work.
HaiJu chapter 2 . 7/30/2011
*jaw drops to the floor*

Woah, you actually listened? That's amazing, good for you! I'm so used to my (along with any and all) advice being utterly ignored, it's nice to have someone proactively respond for a change.

It is infinitely easier to read now, so I can review the actual content this time:

The beginning dialogue is fairly in character, and Robin teasing Raven and accidentally provoking her temper tantrum makes sense and is a good way to lead into the issue. I think you have a good grasp of the general relationships between characters at the end of the movie and they are acting in-character (except of course BB and Raven, but there's your point of conflict). I like the mystery around BB's strange behavior and the tension that brings to the story. I'm wondering where exactly the Hulk will come into this but I'm sure you have a plan.

All that being said, I think it might have been good to have some clues to the fact that Raven's been in a bad mood since before Tokyo. Maybe she accidentally melts a few things or is reading an especially grim-looking book? Maybe everyone (except Robin) is shy about provoking her? I don't know, just hints that help support the story she tells Cyborg later. Also the pacing might be better if you moved the characters around a bit-the teasing at breakfast and Raven's blowup go together, but Cyborg confronting her could be elsewhere-say if she stormed out in the hallway-which would make more sense, since Robin and Star don't participate in that conversation at all. The angst is a little heavy-handed, but that's not too unusual in BB/Rae stories and could be toned down with the right approach (see below).

Lastly, just in general don't be afraid to slow down and describe the setting, visual attributes of a character, the character's memories, emotions, and thoughts on the situation; all of these are things you can layer onto the basic structure of a story to make it richer and create a sense of being in a real place and and time. Say for example, you want to show that BB's absences are more serious than his teammates have assumed, but you don't want to come out and say it just yet (which you didn't by the way, and I appreciate). Maybe when he walks in Cyborg notices for the first time that there are dark circles under his eyes, and that he's wearing the same uniform he'd had on two days ago when he'd gotten that rip on the sleeve; he looks preoccupied and sad even before he realizes what Raven is saying. Or something like that. You can imply so much just by having one character observe the other. Even the silly non-plot-related stuff (like, say, Cyborg's favorite kiss-the-cook apron, the odor of slightly rancid tofu and old pizza as he opens the fridge, or everyone cringing as Star slathers on the mustard) gives us a real sense of place. Do you see what I mean?

Thanks so much for actually listening, and I wish you the best in your writing pursuits. I'll be keeping an eye on this fic. If you would like more critiques such as the above, please let me know. Otherwise I'll just follow along.


- Hj
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