Reviews for The Diary
BookReader2007 chapter 8 . 3/25/2005
great story cant wait for the next chapter please update soon
Yue-neko chapter 8 . 6/24/2004
Very different,but VERY well writtan _

Yue
HecateDeMort chapter 8 . 2/24/2004
good
slytherinsela chapter 8 . 4/20/2003
ah, evil, evil zinfandel. so evil. er... good work! yay! this is original in contradistinction to many of the other severitus challenges that i've seen. excellent job.
floramorada chapter 8 . 12/14/2002
Gah! you cut it off Here? PLEASE PLEASE update! PLEASE!
gwendolynflight chapter 8 . 11/21/2002
oh dear. this is going to be great. write more!
Pale Rider chapter 7 . 11/19/2002
In a way, I'm rather ambivalent about this story... The premise is good, the exposition is good, and the writing is quite good from a technical perspective. At the same time, I have some issues, mainly relating to your OC.

Zinfandel Highwind: Naming a character after a kind of wine is rarely a good sign. Aside from that, Zinfandel has other problems: she's uninteresting, she's really unpleasant (especially in the last part of chapter seven), and finally, she's a painfully obvious Mary-Sue. Perhaps she's not intended as an author avatar, but her super-massive powers of deduction and magic are indicative of a character who is too powerful. Making her the "Heir of Slytherin" just puts it over the top.

What's worse is that she doesn't seem to be adding anything to the story. Sure, she's there for a few coincidental moments (and purposes that could be fulfilled by virtually anyone else), but as herself she's added almost nothing. The transfiguration episodes are not as funny as they're intended to be, and mostly serve as more fodder for you to show how super-massive powerful she is, which doesn't add anything to either her character or the story.

This is even more frustrating because what's going on between Harry and Severus is WONDERFULLY WRITTEN. Their behaviors are wholly believable, and this aspect of the story is going VERY well. I am loving those parts of this story, but every time I see Zinfandel I just want to scream. Unless you're planning on her being some kind of central plot motivator, this story would be MUCH better off without her. She's a gnat of a character, distracting both the reader (and you) from the real meat of the story.

Aside from Zinfandel, my only other problem is exploding!Sirius. I'm not going to argue that it's completely out of agreement with canon to have Sirius over-react (it certainly meshes with his behavior as a young man). At the same time, GoF (and even some parts of PoA) indicate that Sirius is craftier now, and a little less impulsive. You're doing so well characterizing Severus and Harry, it seems you could draw out a more complex behavior for Black.

Just my opinion... I'll check back in on this story, but I don't know how much more Zinfandel I can stomach.
gwendolyn-flight chapter 7 . 11/19/2002
hmm. yeah, that's a great idea, let's fill the depressed kid with doubts about his own worth and see if we can drive him to suicide. what was she thinking? sorry, insensitive people annoy me, which includes sirius, good job launching him out the window. :) what's wrong with severus? will he be okay? will he and harry ever get along? oh, and thank you for not having the miracle revalation and instant bonding, this is much more fun. heh. write more! now!
gwendolynflight chapter 3 . 11/19/2002
:) :) :) what a great hex! and what a wonderful thing to have malfoy say! i can just see the look on his face . . . ::happy sigh:: on to next chapter, yay.
Kathleen chapter 6 . 10/4/2002
I love your "THE DIARY" story! some lovely anguish and tortured dialogue! Can't wait to see Severus and Harry able to get past their mutual

hurting and actually SEE each other without the emotional baggage. Next chapter soon please!

-Kathleen
Raett2020 chapter 6 . 5/9/2002
MMMMOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEEEEE! I WANT MORE! please?
Chibi Psycho-Pyro chapter 6 . 5/7/2002
MORE MORE MORE NOW PLZ! I un like Ninfadel. Blech. But the whole Sevvie/Harry conflic goin on was great. Can we have some uh... Draco/ Harry slashie plz?
Shinigami chapter 4 . 4/25/2002
*eyes widen* Oh my god! The news about Harry being Snape's son will be all over Hogwarts by dinner time! No wonder the hat wanted to put Harry in Slytherin...*evil grin* Liking the part about Draco saying he loved Harry while under a spell... Made my day...Anyway, why not write anymore pairings...Oh boy, bet Snape was majorly shocked, when Harry just appeared like that...
janzi chapter 2 . 4/22/2002
This started out really interesting, but slash is too gross for me. I can read no more
arcee1 chapter 6 . 4/12/2002
Snape is a git in this one but i think he will find the way to fatherhood soon . Write soon.
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