Reviews for These Games We Play
Jacqueline Faber chapter 41 . 3/29
I'm surprised that Jazz never shot back that, despite all he'd done for the others, they'd never done the same, or even noticed!
Or was Soundwave's reminder far too recent, positioned in between the first grouping of Autobots and then the second with Starscream present, to bring up?
Jacqueline Faber chapter 40 . 3/29
Aww, crushing my hopes while dangling an elaborately-themed [musically] new set in my direction at the same time.

Hmm, now that I think of it, the focus of the propaganda has been on the old Prime's termination, not on the location of the object responsible for choosing the individual[s] to bear that title.
Jacqueline Faber chapter 39 . 3/29
Still not unconvinced it's Mirage. Where else to hide but in plain sight?
Jacqueline Faber chapter 38 . 3/29
Gut feeling tells me it's Mirage
Jacqueline Faber chapter 34 . 3/29
As it was specifically requested, I logged in so that I could post a review so far.
I don't remember at what point I'd left off reading this, but I was pretty sure that I hadn't gotten into the 20s - this was so long ago that /was/ the end at that point.

I revisited my old favorited stories on this site because I was using a bit of this fic to explain a point to a friend - I used Jazz's mental encoding as reference.

I'd linked it to that friend, then did a double-take at the number of chapters I was behind on. I adore this fic. It, along with "Cybertronian Genesis" [and sequel] is one of my prominent inspirations for writing, although I use/take/follow certain Tropes from different [lesser] works.

I am very devoted to my ships, and am also at the same time highly critical of all ships, mine and otherwise. Sex- and sexual gratification-themed works are something I'm very particular about and it's always been so DIFFICULT to find a decent fic that sticks to canon, stays true to characterization, and examines the details/motives of ships that doesn't devolve into terrible PWP.
Soundwave desires Jazz, in multiple ways, and doesn't trip over himself into OOC lovey-doveyness. He's logical and methodical in his approach; he's SOUNDWAVE for crying out loud.
In canon, he's never shown himself to be anything but completely steadfastedly loyal to Megatron. Seeing a Starscream that's true to Starscream [shrill, bitchy, and demanding] without being the utter incompetent many fans seem to enjoy making him out to be thrills my pitiful little fangirl heart.
It's a post-Canon/post-War fic where the Decepticons win, and Megatron... he just... I'm flailing right now for words, and was outright giggling at certain earlier points in the story. You've shown that the War is over, but it is also /not/ over. Megatron continues on in his IC desire to rule in a form contrary to the previous Council's, staying true to the motives and goals he's expressed throughout the series, and he is neither benevolent or crushing in his dictatorship.
The Decepticons are a twisted mess, their slaves are a horror, and THE NEUTRALS.
... You don't want to know how far behind on MTMTE I am. I've only read about 1-20ish, and All Hail Megatron. So I'm delighted to see how the victorious party deals with those who refused to take a side and /fight/ for the good of their planet.

Iloveit. I love it I love it I LOVE IT.
And will eagerly wait for each of your updates [though I haven't read chapters 34-41 yet].

apparently I /have/ read this far? And do not remember it? Wow.
So I'm jumping ahead to 34 so that I can post this review before I lose progress. OTL
ThemSoundWaves chapter 41 . 3/28
No matter what anyone says- this fan fiction is great. The Fix person who degraded your work has a nimble mind. And cannot understand the circomestances of what there going through. I love this fanfiction, and I can put it down.'you keep doing your job, and ill keep doing mine. Update as soon as you can.

Your reader from the shadows.
Storylady35 chapter 41 . 3/16
What an amazing story so far! I honestly can't wait for the next part! it's one of those stories you start reading with the intention of 'just one more chapter' and end up reading four!
Diamonds and Bones chapter 1 . 3/14
Uh... Hi. Kind a shy so I hope this review isn't too bad, but before I begin gotta say-IGNORE THE FOX FAMILIAR, PEACEWISH! (I don't think Fox even read the story, lol.) Anyway,I bet he/she/it didn't even bother you but just had to tell you that to, you know, ignore the fox:)... Anyways, I love your story plus your writing style. I LOOOVE Jazz. I litterally try to memorize all of Jazz's lines,'cause let me tell you, they are hilarious! I love the drama, and I love how you characterize all of the charactors. They just fit, such as Jazz being all cool and sneaky, Soundwave being possesive and also extremly sneaky, and don't get me started on the casseticons. I love them, too. My favorite is Lazerbeak. She's so motherly and just plain adorable with the petting. I love the backstory you gave to Jazz and how he is so mysterious and I like ( not in I was happy:) the fate of Blasters Cassetibots. It added so much drama. ( RIP my little friends. :D) I also like Shockwave, which I usually don't, mostly I think he's just really boring when I read him in fanfics. But you make him interesting with the ways he tries to get in power, and I hope I get to see more action from him. Anywho... Por favor, si'l vous plaît, من فضلك, please, please, please, update. Every update of this wonderful story makes moi muy feliz.
Grazie my friend and let me tell you that I wrote my review at 1:49 am with a broken Ipad screen. So yeah... I hope there aren't too many errors,,, plus I generally do not write long reviews. Anyways, bottom line is ignore this wretched Fox Familiar cause I love this story as well as many other people and update soon! And don't forget to stay awesome and have a nice day!
Aaaaand... Update! Please. :D
The Fox Familiar chapter 15 . 3/11
Chapter 41


I’ve reached the end! Time for drinks. But none for you, my dearest.

Where to begin? Hmm, let’s start with the fact that no one was in character. Soundwave, the coldest, nastiest, and most effective Decepticon who doesn’t trade his loyalties for anyone, including his symbiotes (he just ‘cares’ for them because they are his minions; he doesn’t care if they die), but here, he acts the way he would if a Mary Sue were introduced. Jazz, despite all the pop culture references, was not in character. He was a whore. He trades his sense of self for pleasure, eats treats like a good dog, and stays in the house like an obedient and abused wife. That’s really deep. Shockwave, though, was one of the worst offenders. Here we have a scientist, one of Megatron’s most powerful and influential members, treated like a gold-digging beaked-nosed lawyer who gets into petty arguments with Suspender Striptease about how to run the planet after the war. All of which, I must say, were exceedingly retarded as the story grew on.

The story didn’t feel like it belonged in Transformers. You don’t know your canon, and most of all, your grasp of writing is poor. Sure, it’s not poorly spelled, but you don’t have any original ideas and your attempt at creating a master/slave story was laughable. Were you trying to mimic the British Empire’s policies? If so, you failed in that. You mentioned caste very, very early on but I don’t think you know what that means. I don’t think you understand economies or how civilizations work, let alone how slavery does. I’ve seen a more serious take from ‘Django Unchained’, and that was meant to be – pun intended or not intended – a black comedy. The thing is, I didn’t feel a thing for these characters and the romance was bad. It made my eyes bleed. Sure, the sex wasn’t explicit (thank God for that) but it was still bad. The plot was nonexistent – simply put, shit happens on a post-war planet that don’t progress and people don’t actually struggle – and there are parties, card games, and more irrelevant crap that have nothing to do with Transformers.

I highly doubt you are capable of writing eloquent essays if this was any indication of your writing skill. There was a LOT of female centrism in this work, and in some cases, it seemed as if Jazz WAS a female. By now I’ve grown so used to female authors putting their vaginas in where they don’t belong and they think people won’t notice, but a good reader and reviewer will. I almost always notice it: the conversations, long and detailed and about things that do not matter; the obsession over looks, cliques, and emotions; and, most of all, the stalwart attention to romance. Compared to the attempt at making a Bolshevik Revolution and other social reforms that only a liberal cares about, it was simple and boring to someone who actually understands romantic attraction or how courtship works. This romance varied between abusive, complacent, back to abusive and back again. It’s the excuse a battered housewife gives to those in a domestic violence shelter:

“I stay because I don’t want him to hurt me.”

I suppose if this was a real attempt to discuss psychological methods of control, torture, and slavery, I’d at least understand your intentions, but as this was based on a kinkmeme it was destined to fail from the get go.

You asked for reviews, so here you go.


Plot: nonexistent.

Consistency: nonexistent. Contradictions at many intervals.

Characterization: Horrible. Wondered if many of them were female.

Writing: while grammar and spelling are fine, presentation of ideas and literary themes nonexistent.
I give it a T for Twilight. I know you fangirls hate being compared to that work, but it’s the one thing that pops up a lot.

You contradict yourself a lot. When a fictional character in a work says things that tell more about the author than the story, that’s something to behold, eh?

Poor dear. You tried so hard and got so far. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter

Yeah, Linkin Park. Really suits the mood better than Jackson, don’t you think? that I think about it, this story should get an F...

...For Ferguson. What do you think?
The Fox Familiar chapter 14 . 3/11
Chapters 36-40


“Soundwave was no fool” – Erm, everything he has done up until now has been foolish. Megatron beats him for not hiding the camera properly, and is told that Jazz is too good for him. I’m not sure whether to shake my head or be amused at the spectacle. Now, there’s a riot – I wonder why – and more political show downs in a story that tries to take itself seriously but does not. Like I said before: it long passed the point of being serious as soon as you announced it was based on a kinkmeme prompt. That alone invalidates it.

“Still tasted of charged ions” – Wut.

I didn’t know this would turn into a Transformers version of Ferguson. The story should be called: ‘These Fergusons We Play’.

This whole scene of ‘bringing Shockwave to his knees’ was a bore. I knew it was going to come to that, but in any case, it doesn’t make sense because: A) Shockwave doesn’t act that way; and B) Cybertronian commerce wouldn’t act like a Jerusalem market.

“You everything” – Dangerously cheesy.

He licked the bed? Uh...that’s not hot. Hope it got cleaned recently.

“He was graceful and attractive” – Female centrism.

“This gorgeous slave had so much to offer” – Female centrism.

“...when he was young and scared and struggling to please his masters on stage” – So he was a glorified stripper. How original. How out of character. Was he twerking?

“I’m the hottest piece real estate on the Ark...I can have anyone, anytime” – That’s a really weird simile.

“Why subject himself to slavery if he had a choice?” – You really, really don’t get this statement, do you? You pretty much contradicted your entire story with that sentence right there. What a fucking idiot.

“Phenomenal source of erotic pleasure” – Drink. Didn’t know Soundwave was a Hustler magazine.

Lace your drink and pull you into a closet” – Now I know this is a human centric story despite there being robots.

“Perfect model of brainlessness, you mean” – In which a character describes the author.

The whole factory and wage thing sounds like the author is trying to pull a Living Wage argument. Come on, chickie. You’re trying too hard.

“Why did they ignore the real threat at their pedes?” – Because they’re idiots? Yeah, that’s one of the reasons.

“Nobody understands ME! I am Jazz!” – Boo hoo. My optics are lubricating. (Thank you, Breakdown.)

Jazz gives a blowjob to Megatron in front of Soundwave to show Megatron’s the one in charge.
That isn’t at all a cliché. It’s too bad Megatron hasn’t shown himself to BE a tyrant, despite the author saying that he IS. You haven’t SHOWN, only TOLD us that he is. Nobody believes your words. Well, except your dim-witted fans, of course.

Jazz pussied out and ran away from his buddies. What a douche. No wonder he’s everybody’s bitch; he acts like one. He most deservedly deserves his punishment for being a shithead. Then, when his friends point out how much of a hypocrite he is, he beats the shit out of them and threatens them, telling them that they – wait for it – don’t understand.

Jazz really is a walking hypocrite. He keeps saying he’s acting the way he is so he can get it easier, all the while forgetting the few friends he has left alive in exchange for the ‘heated pleasures’ he gets from Soundwave. That really does make him a whore. He never has any self-respect, he uses ‘my love’ like a cutesy name, and most of all he is so out of character that the author thinks using popular songs will fill up that gap.

Chapter 41 was pretty long, but it was mostly blabbering about riots and parties. Not that we care.

But now that we’re at the end, it is time for the final review.
The Fox Familiar chapter 13 . 3/11
Chapters 31-35


No, Jazz, no one cares about your dancing. You’re acting a lot like Bill Cosby, who, currently, has problems of his own.

Soundwave folds sheets into metallic patterns. That totally isn’t female centric. Laserbeak gets hurt or something and guns are pulled, creating another commotion that Shockwave the greedy coin hugger might use against him, and there’s a lot of emphasis on home and family life. Soundwave should be renamed Housefrau because he sure does act like one. Jazz also more or less says he never trusted Optimus Prime and that Prime was a sucker.

Yeah, I can really tell you worked hard on this.

“Primus Soundwave, who cares?” – In which a character voices what I’m thinking.

“Supposedly giving and not receiving pleasure...” – Drink.

“You’re nothing but a glorified wiretap” – In which Shockwave actually speaks some sense.

“Words, meaningless. Story nonexistent.” – THANK YOU SOUNDWAVE. YOU VOICED MY THOUGHTS.

Soundwave gets jealous at everything, including music? What an asshole. Aside from the splurging about Michael Jackson and Van Halen, I think Soundwave put it succinctly enough: story nonexistent. Jazz jizzes in his pants about music, and while that would be nice, it isn’t compared to the amount of shit that is floating in this work. Good God, let it end!

Reviews help greatly? Nice! I hope you’ll enjoy my two cents – they’re given for free, after all.
Jazz was a slave earlier, is a slave again, but this time around he’s okay with it because he’s with a nice master who loves him. Yeah...some things you know. I am so glad he’s complacent like a cat who got his milk on time. What makes it funnier is because he’s bla –

Oh, wait. Don’t want to be racist.

“You just can’t believe you screwed up this bad, can you?” – I know I can.

“You brought this about due to your own incompetence” – Yes, yes he did.

“You were a pawn, you got played like one” – Indeedly do.

“You don’t have anything better” – In which a character describes the author.

Soundwave got busted for planting a camera in Starscream’s quarters and lost Jazz to Skywarp. Amidst all of that, there’s more babbling, whining, and the Tru Wuv dynamic between Soundwave and Jazz, who can’t go without his sugar daddy for more than five minutes. I’m still dumbstruck by all the political mongering, though I assume that it’s typical for someone of your calibre: no research, pull it out of your ass and think it’s good. I don’t know if this is beta’d, but if it is, your beta is a piece of shit. If not, all the blame is on you.

As we near the end, I’ll have my final verdict, and rest assured, it won’t be pretty.
The Fox Familiar chapter 12 . 3/11
Chapters 26-30


“Jazz...afraid to submit” – That’s not at all clichéd or predictable. So he worked the rounds in many of the ‘Cons beds and he doesn’t want to give himself up. Now that Soundwave is his master, he wants Jazz to be totally and completely his despite mind-raping him and doing other stuff that is abusive. Can you blame Jazz for not giving in? Power dynamics. You don’t understand them.

“Not that Shockwave is any kind of match for Starscream” – Shockwave has a huge-ass cannon for an arm. Depending on what continuity you use, he also has a giant worm for a pet, and a robotic dragon. Of course he can take on Starscream.

“Starscream was a glorious and stunningly attractive war hero” – Female centrism. You are not even trying.

Iacon sounds like Cleveland. Don’t go to the West side or you’ll die. But hey, at least it’s not Detroit!

Jazz is getting beaten up for trying to start a revolt or something and Soundwave gets the feels. Hook fixes Jazz, and Soundwave rubs his sexy plating with a sexy cloth.

I’m going to need an extra large dish for all that cheese.

“I swept away the old layers of class” – And yet he installed a slavery system that is absolutely retarded that would make the Ottomans laugh at. He’s getting pissed at ONE STATUE being defaced. Come on. You need to be at least reasonable here.

“This is my planet, my empire! I will have order!” – Lol, except that he doesn’t. He’s too busy screwing Starscream late at night and Shockwave is acting like a greedy grub of a lawyer that didn’t get his coins on time. Who does that remind you of?

“You really are my most loyal soldier, Soundwave” – Earlier Megatron was wondering where Soundwave was and questioned his reclusive behaviour. That’s not really loyalty. It’s as if he was uncomfortable with Soundwave one moment, didn’t trust him the next, and now says how much he respects him? He is really acting like a chick questioning the chastity of her husband.

“C’mon Jazz, you’re not stupid” – Yes, yes he is. And we have all the rantings of the author to confirm it. Soundwave is being super-duper nice and Jazz thinks he’s falling in love and that he’ll be free someday and what have you – just like every other master/slave story out there – and Jazz, true to his out-of-character self, is made to feel bad for hurting his master.

You’re fucking killing me, here. This continues to get more and more retarded as we go on.

“I don’t hate you. I hate Megatron.” – Here we go.

“I have everything he’s done to us...he’s taken so much...” – Boo cry. My optics are lubricating. (Thank you, Breakdown.)

“I was wrong to hurt you that way” – This is Soundwave we’re talking about. Or, some cheap sucker pretending to be him. I don’t know. I’m past the point of giving a shit.

“I hope you know how hard this was for me” – In which a character describes my feelings on the matter.

I will be glad when this is finished. Nothing of value will be lost.
The Fox Familiar chapter 11 . 3/11
Chapters 21-25


“You saw what he did to us. What we’ve been through. Megatron is so arrogant.” – Compared to real world tyrants, what Megatron did is considered a boytoy child’s play. Slapping slaves in front of a huge audience? Talking big? Please. Real people are capable of far worse. They used to brand slaves in Rome, circumcise men and women in Islamic slave trades, and force Christian men to become Janissaries. Don’t even get me started on Unit 731 in WW2. Those are horrible, horrible stories. But this? Please. I laughed more than cried.

“Nobody cares about me anymore. I’m a pet whore” – Wow, how degrading. If I swapped the genders, this really WOULD be degrading. But, Jazz does have a point. He hasn’t kept his original character at all. Who’s this guy?

Soundwave does through tons of emotional baggage, which got boring after chapter five. We know he can’t resist Jazz’s robo-dick, and his visor glows so many colours as to make a 1970’s lava lamp jealous. Emphasis is placed on the symbiotes, but they really aren’t that interesting, especially when their roles are usurped by the bad romance that’s occurring between Jazz and Soundwave. When a writer’s priorities are not in order, or they lack in the skill department, it becomes evidence what the main purpose and roles these characters are meant to play. As it seems, the audience reading this are slash and kink meme fans – by a rule they are stupid – and they won’t be able to criticize because they don’t have it in them and they can’t see what is wrong with the story. Luckily I have much experience in this department so I know what the author is thinking and what they’re trying to convey.

You’re not conveying much. There’s a lot of crap and useless shit and nothing of value. You have failed in that department.

Soundwave and Shockwave do not like each other? Soundwave not doing his duties? My God, woman! What are you doing?! This isn’t...this isn’t even –

To Hell with it. Once you’ve gone full retard you can’t go back.

Typical. Everyone wants to bang Jazz. If this was an OC automatically people would be screaming
Mary Sue. Megatron doesn’t want to rule the Empire he fought to attain, and leave it to Shockwave to be a stereotypical New York lawyer to do all the work for him. Soundwave goes and complains to him about enforcers beating up an innocent vendor for not paying his taxes, and Soundwave, in true OOC fasion, turns into the moral compass, no doubt reformed by Jazz. Shockwave goes batshit and tells him that it’s his laws, his city, his duty to rebuild Cybertron, and there’s a shitload of explanations for Cybertron’s commerce after an intergalactic war that nearly left their ENTIRE SPECIES extinct. Yeah. About that.

You turned Shockwave into some corrupt lawyer cliché who gets angry whenever someone questions him. That is not Shockwave. He doesn’t care. He runs things the way he thinks they would be run logically. Like I said: one of the only emotions he feels is annoyance, and that is when someone messes with his experiments. Soundwave also wouldn’t care to avenge street vendors or punish corrupt cops because his role is Director of Intelligence and Information. This is not hard to understand. I guess it is for someone who is too busy fingering themselves.

“You raped my mind...these things happen in a relationship” – Jesus Christ lady, what kind of relationships have YOU been in?

“They are only trash, after all” – In which the author describes the characters in her story.

“If you don’t speak up for them, who will?” – I didn’t know Soundwave was Robin Hood. Who cares about a bunch of bums in the street? Really? They have better things to do.

“I’ve always felt that inferior beings prefer being told what to do” – In which Shockwave describes the author. Anyways, his speech really belies his personality. He’s a corrupt lawyer cliché, as said before. He’s all about controlling commerce and Soundwave is the clichéd Robin Hood there to stop him. But why? It serves no purpose. It also is a contradiction because the main ‘plot’ of this work is a slave kink. Therefore, any serious discussion is invalidated because that isn’t the main focus.

Logic. You need to learn it.

Everyone’s dialogue, the way they act, even down to the way they walk – it is all female. I know a woman wrote this, and Hell, the politics are female. Everyone talks about stuff that wouldn’t matter to logical people or even those with common sense, and like girls in a clique, they’re doing it to gain popularity. Shockwave wants to be Megatron’s giant purple dildo, but can’t, so he uses Chromia instead. That’s...interesting. Hopelessly primitive, but interesting.

I hope you realize I am being heavily sarcastic here.
The Fox Familiar chapter 10 . 3/11
Chapters 16-20


Of course, Jazz was pegging Prowl in the backroom showers and Soundwave is jealous. I think by this point it’s clear who has got their head up their ass. I think the best part is since Jazz is more or less the token black in Transformers, he’s charged with all the crime. That’s funny as shit, man. You reaaaaaaaaaaaaaly don’t get it.

Shockwave’s also a stereotype. He’s not interesting in wealth. He’s interested in scientific progress. Another point taken from Gryffindor.

There’s no Earth word for Jazz? What? Honey, never go full retard.

“Jazz’s engine roared with pleasure” – Drink.

“Almost as sweet as the actual pleasure” – Drink.

They were screwing and they nearly fell off the rooftop? Okay...

“One sizzling hot spike of pleasure” – Drink.

“Your deployment has holes in it” – In which Megatron speaks truth about the matter. The planet is theirs. There is no reason for them not to venture out and establish command posts around the planet. Yes, I can understand a tight-knit scenario in which you do not want stragglers or illegals wandering around, but one of the best ways to fight that is to set up checkpoints. Your planet is ravaged, there are no enemies for a while, and you need to resupply. You need to focus on resources. Megatron should be listening to Shockwave and Soundwave, but he isn’t. Instead, they’re engaging in weird pseudo-politics, which don’t make one iota of sense.

“Panic fluttered through Soundwave” – OOC. He doesn’t feel panic.

“Soundwave indulged in wistful pointlessness” – In which the author describes her portrayal of the character.

“You blame yourself for what hate yourself so much...” – Cry me a river. No one cares.

A good chunk of these chapters would be better sawn off. They’re pointless blabbering about Jazz hugging Soundwave, Soundwave moping, shower scenes, Starscream being devious, and Megatron instilling non-existent fear in his non-existent troops. If not for the kink, I’d think it was a poorly written soap opera drama where the two characters in love have zero chemistry and have some stupid reasons to be together. I think 12 Years of Soundwave is a tad bit too serious. Maybe Djazz Unchained?

There’s a big fuss about Mirage escaping and Megatron is upset that one of his slaves escaped. So what? He’s not going to be able to do anything. All of the Energon is with the Decepticons. Earth is under Decepticon control. He has nowhere to run. Yet Megatron and all the others are incompetent enough to act like a bunch of spoiled brats whose candy has gone bad. Give me a break. You cannot possibly think this is remotely logical. None of them would act like this, and if you really want to make a case study on slavery, have a look at the sacking of Syria and Jerusalem by Islamic armies. Or the Ottoman slave trade.

Uh-oh. Soundwave is about to rape Jazz. Or mind rape. Prepare your body!

Lady Gaga? Some taste you have. You know she’s got more surprises in her underwear than this story does. Sad, isn’t it?

Chapter 20 was a bunch of ALL CAPS, MOTHERFUCKER! And copyrighted song lyrics. Nice. I can tell that it was vomited out of that filthy imagination of yours. You’re next in line to be the new Tubgirl.
Holy moly. This is getting worse as we go along. This shouldn’t have made it past the WordDoc, let alone the story editor. Some people simply do not have the talent for writing, and are better off using their ‘talents’ elsewhere. You could be a great stripper on Jerry Springer, if you have the looks.

Which you probably don’t. Anyways, onwards! I’m halfway through and I’ll keep on truckin’.
The Fox Familiar chapter 9 . 3/11
Chapters 11-15


Jazz is upset that Soundwave killed four of his buddies, calls Soundwave a murderer (which he is), and Soundwave, in true clichéd fashion, tells him he isn’t and that Jazz should come home and have a hot shower.

“We lost everything we had – our friends, our freedom, our future!” – Yes, I could totally tell that in the story.

“What do you want, a hug?” – Soundwave, kill this bitch already.

“Don’t touch me with those hands!” – ‘But I totally want you to finger me with those hands!’

Soundwave never beat the shit out of his victims but cuddled them? Well isn’t that peachy. That’s totally not Soundwave. He’d just kill them and move on. All these drama llamas between Jazz and Soundwave, no doubt to buttress the fact that they’re meant to be a couple – don’t work because for one: Soundwave and Jazz don’t act like this, and two: it is impossibly bad to read. How could you think this would work, huh?

“Silence on subject kept because memory (was) painful” – Give me a fucking break!

“Did you rape them?” – LOLWHAT

“Consensual, always” – Except it isn’t, lol

“I hate you for killing my friends but I’ll totally shag you because you’re nice to me!” cliché. Wow, Jazz, you’re a grade A asshole.

Another shower scene? More detail is put on Soundwave towelling off Jazz than focusing on the main work. At least I know where your priorities lie.

“Shockwave’s a jealous mech” – Except he isn’t. The only emotion he expresses is annoyance when others use their petty moralities. Other than that, he wouldn’t care much for Soundwave’s housefrau or what he does in the backroom.

“He’s trying to decide how dangerous you are” – Erm, the ‘Waves have know each other for millions of years. Now they don’t? My God, woman. You are not even trying.

“That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen” – In which the author discusses her story.

Acid rain won’t disfigure buildings? Okay, let’s look at that premise. Cybertron doesn’t have an atmosphere, and rain only appears if there is any accumulation of cloud cover. Even then, if these are heavy metals, they’re not going to make it up in their atmosphere. There are probably also alkaline metals, which would neutralize the whole thing. And, rain on Earth, especially if metal isn’t treated, will rust immediately.

“There were not many things that Starscream could say that would hurt Soundwave” – Here we go.

“His spark twisted in grief” – Lolno.

Soundwave is getting jealous at Lazerbeak dancing with Jazz? You know, for a Decepticon as prominent as him, he shouldn’t be prone to such ridiculous actions. Of course, we have the ‘reveal’ that his change is because of Jazz – which we already knew by now – and that he’s plotting against Shockwave for some reason or other because there has to be a ridiculous plot in an even more ridiculous story. The fact of the matter is: all the human culture tidbits, all the subtle humanization, and the whole ‘Cougar Town’ feel of the whole thing renders this story invalid. No Autobot would give up so easily, and the Decepticons would be more creative with their use of their prisoners. They wouldn’t rape them, they wouldn’t buy or use them as slaves in the way a human uses them, so any attempt at seriousness flew out the window long ago.

Now I’m wondering when Soundwave is going to squeeze a squeaky toy in the bathtub and play Marco Polo with Jazz and rubber duckies. It’s that cheesy, man.

Jazz is every inch the innocent maiden stereotype that never experienced sex. Soundwave is the hermit that just wants to be loved. And despite being a slave, Jazz tells Soundwave he isn’t ugly and all that womanly crap that no one cares about. Despite being sexually abused by Megatron, he’s ready and able to open up for Soundwave because Reasons.

“Idiocy can be undone” – In most cases it can’t. See reasons above.

“You don’t need to win over the dumb masses after all” – In which the author describes her audience.

Shockwave is hated because he’s rich? Wow. That’s...really great storytelling. And OOC for Shockwave. See reasons above.

“Did losing your leader deprive your team of any common sense whatsoever?” – In which a character describes my thoughts on the matter, and the bad logic of the story.

You wrote an essay on how the Decepticons would rule Earth post-war? If anything can be gleamed from this piece of shit, I’d assume they’d be bad at it. They didn’t destroy our culture; our culture is taking over theirs (which is a victory); they didn’t destroy us, and we’re still moving around. That’s not really control. Hell, if Rumble and Frenzy are playing Resident Evil, that means Konami and other gaming companies are still in business and still mass-marketing games. I guess if Megatron was too focused on having parties and dealing with incompetents by snarling all the time, I suppose he deserves to be dethroned.

BTW Republicans are now the majority in the US Senate. Sucks to be a Democrat!
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