|Reviews for Temple Of The Sea Contest and Poke Style!|
| nick chapter 1 . 6/21
I have 5 things to ask you. 1. Was there more to the plot, besides the summary? 2. This took place in the movie, right? 3. What locations were used in the fanfic? 4. How old was everyone that was in the fanfic? 5. What Pokémon were owned by the main characters in the fanfic? Be sure to answer these questions.
| Aleyce chapter 9 . 4/11
Destiny Deoxys is one that you can do...
Hope you do it, and well!
Please Please PLEASE Do the MOVIE!
Sorry about that... BUT PLEASE DO DESTINY DEOXYS!
| Aleyce chapter 6 . 4/11
Nice cliffy! Although I have watched the movie, I enjoy this, it is much better to me! Thank you for writing this!
P.S. You should write one on Destiny Deoxys.
| Pokegirl chapter 19 . 8/14/2014
So very touching
| moon730 chapter 19 . 7/9/2014
| DreamerAtDawn chapter 19 . 6/23/2014
This is by far my favorite pokemon story! I love contestshipping :)
| YuniX-2 chapter 3 . 6/11/2014
Okay, I've really tried, but third time's the charm. I can't keep reading this. There's a saying in writing that goes "show don't tell", as in show the readers what is happening rather than stating it like a sports commentator. This story really suffers from telling and I just can't anymore. I probably would have loved this story in middle or early high school, but I'm just too old to enjoy this type of writing anymore. This story is a great idea, and I encourage you to keep writing. I know you'll improve as you continue to work at it. I hope to see some of your later stories as I dig through the CS section of this site (I've already exhausted the pokeshipping section), I'll bet you've grown since writing this.
| YuniX-2 chapter 2 . 6/11/2014
I had hoped the writing would improve hen you switched to narrating the hero's portion of the journey, and it did, but minimally. You only used the word "suddenly" once, so props for that, but you introduced Drew and Misty in rather contrived manners, particularly Misty. I didn't buy Misty's reason for being there at all. Drew was worked in pretty naturally, not the smoothest introduction but one that would be typical of the quality of writing on the Pokemon TV show, and therefore believable. Him just happening to be on the road is a major coincidence, but Pokemon throws in crap like that all the time. Also, the fact that he helped to solve the water dilemma made his introduction into an actual plot point, which I liked. Conversely, I have a very hard time believing that Misty could apprehend Brock without anyone noticing her first, and the characters were not nearly shocked enough at her appearance. This girl is supposed to be in Kanto! That's like having a cousin who lives England (assuming you're American) and has made no mention to you of any trips to the states, and randomly running into them at the grocery store. It's unexpected beyond belief, and a little upsetting that they didn't inform you they'd be in town. The overall improvement in this chapter isn't much, but it's enough that I'm not giving up on this story yet. Hopefully I'll be able to track some real growth as I progress through your chapters.
| YuniX-2 chapter 1 . 6/11/2014
Wow. Not a good wow. You are trying to be way too cinematic. Describing the motion of a camera or the angle of perspective removes the reader from the story, diminishing the mood and taking away from the novelization. Saying "This person as shown doing this thing" also creates unnecessary distance from the action. For instance, where you say "While under the water Jackie as shown escaping on the mantine with a breathing device in his mouth" you could easily get the reader more involved in the action by editing it to "Beneath the surface, the egg thief and mantine made their escape; a trail of bubbles from Jackie's breathing device the only remaining evidence of a successful heist." Sometimes less is more like that. You also use the word "suddenly" so much that I no longer believe you know the meaning of the word. Find some synonyms. PLEASE.
| TheBlackCharizard chapter 19 . 6/6/2014
NOOOOO,advanshipping's greatest movie has been rewritten to the complete opposite...jk, it was a real good story tho besides it being one of those movie fanfics
| GothicBunny chapter 13 . 6/1/2014
Something's never change, especially if your a yellow duck pokemon that can't swim. Lol!
| Whitehorse102 chapter 19 . 3/9/2014
That was absolutely perfect and you are amazing! I loved every bit of this, though some parts I noticed were a little rushed(can't blame you since it's already a movie and you've seen the scene), you pulled off a brilliant and wonderful twist of the temple of the sea!;D
| Whitehorse102 chapter 4 . 3/9/2014
I'm in serious love with you right now. :D
| Whitehorse102 chapter 1 . 3/9/2014
Wow! The imagery is amazing! I envy your describing details! :D
| MayXDrewForever chapter 19 . 11/28/2013
What a good rewrite of the temple of the sea! i was crying like half of the time...
And in this rewrite drew is a lot sweeter than he would normally be.