Reviews for Falling Through the Cracks
Enigmatic Metamorphosis chapter 18 . 4/6/2016
As an lover of angst, I truly enjoyed this, and I love your writing style. This was an instant favorite. However, the constant narrator changes were kind of annoying, to be honest. Maybe that's just me being a huge snob, but I find it to be the mark of an amateur. It's like taking the easy way out, especially as your style barely changes, if ever, when you switch viewpoints. It's just messy and confusing and leaves the reader wondering which head they were supposed to be in again.
Don't get me wrong, I really liked this. It need a little bit of tweaking, if you get my point.
xXBlackBloodAngelXx chapter 19 . 1/8/2015
R u going to update this is really good
Tiva4TheWin chapter 19 . 11/16/2014
Wow this is amazingly well written! I love the high level vocabulary you use and the plot is constructed flawlessly. You are a superb writer! I love characters that put on a clown's mask to cover up their secrets and true identity and I love that Zack (and London) do this. You write Zack's thoughts dealing with self harm and suicide very well also. I struggle with that myself but this isn't one of those stories that either romanticizes it or makes it an easily solved problem, which it isn't. Anyway, great job again and I hope sometime you will come back to this story :)
ct92404 chapter 1 . 1/19/2013
I recently started reading your story, and I'm going to give you my honest opinion. Please don't be offended.

First of all, you are obviously a very talented writer. But I don't think fiction is your area of expertise. Your writing here is extremely stilted and flowery, to the point that it is exhausting to read. I'm not saying that flowery language is necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I like flowery writing...where appropriate. But here, it just completely killed the pace of the story. Also, when you're writing fiction, you need to adjust the narrator's tone and vocabulary to fit with the character. Especially when you're inside the character's mind. Cody and Zack are only 17 years old. They're KIDS. True, Cody is very intelligent and mature, but he's still just a kid. In your story, the tone and thoughts just did not seem to be coming from a 17 year old boy. It was way too flowery and stilted to be believable. Remember, your job as a writer is to tell a story and get the reader to have empathy for the characters...not to try to impress the reader with your vocabulary. You need to work more on trying to change your tone and style and adjust it for each character. Whenever you jumped into another character, your style was always the same. It made the characters seem flat and with no personality. Force yourself to really sit and would THIS person think and speak? Pretend that you ARE that character.

I'm sorry, but I couldn't even finish reading your story. It just felt really muddled, and like it was just circling around like a whirlpool. It wasn't going anywhere. The characters just felt like puppets. And that really disappointed me, because I could tell that you are a talented writer. But maybe you have written mostly poetry before. It just seemed like you didn't have that much experience with fiction.

I'm sorry, I know this was harsh. But I just needed to give you my honest opinion. Again, please don't be offended.
BlackKeys96 chapter 19 . 12/4/2012
Hello there, I know it's been a while and I am truly sorry for not reviewing sooner. I hope you haven't given up on this wonderful story. Like always fantastic chapter. Zack and Bailey bonding time was great to see. Once again Zack is potting up his walls and no one can see. Then there is Cody, trying so hard to pretend that there is nothing wrong. That will hurt him and Zack even more in the end. I also hope Hatchet will try to reach out again, even though I know she probably will. On a final note can't wait to hear the phone call between Carey and Cody. It will not be a good one. Hopefully you will update soon and know that I haven't abandon reading this amazing story.
Jazz chapter 19 . 8/28/2012
OMG you are an amazing writer! please update this soon! it's brilliant, an absolute genius piece of work, and i genuinely mean that.
Aideen Rathnait chapter 19 . 7/15/2012
Well, I'm guessing by all the reviews that it kind of took you a long while to get this latest chapter up, so I guess it's not really a surprise that it's almost been three months since you last updated? My point here is that I really hope this story hasn't been forgotten, mostly because I just spent almost the whole day reading it and I hate to have wasted an entire day.
Okay, first off, this story is so incredibly well written. I'm a little torn though. I'm happy that there are people in this world who are smart enough to use "big words", but I've also got a little bit of jealousy going on. The whole time I was reading this I was thinking "Why can't I write like this?"
Secondly, I haven't felt this much emotion in a really long time. So many things happened in such a short time, I thought I was going to die of an emotional overdose! My nose was literally inches from my screen as I read.
Lastly, I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to angst. I swear to God, this is the story I've been looking for for a long time. Your story pretty much feeds my addiction to angst so well, that I'll be sad if it's not updated soon :( I love stories about Zack. I think his character should be deeper than the show alludes to. Your story goes so deep into Zack's character, I almost drowned in it. If I had an award to give you, I would give it. Sadly, the only thing I can give you is this review.
Please update as soon as you can. The story can't end on this kind of cliffhanger!
owlhero chapter 19 . 4/20/2012
Welcome back officially.

You definitely kept the spirit of the story alive with this chapter.

i did get a laugh out of what Zack thought about London as he waa recovering from the smack.

The constant cycle of self-blame, hesitation and pain continues for Zack.

I am not the only ones who thinks Cheshire cats can be weird. I have to wonder if he thinks the cat mimics him?

Jeez, I forgot how Zack has this down to a T. Still at a certain point, i have to wonder what will cause him to fight?

As for London, just another Zack has pushed away.

zack's annoyance at Cody's need for help has me sad for him since I think he's the one that needs the most help.

This chapter seems a lot more direct than previous chapter in terms of character thoughts and words being used.

For some reason, I feel relieved that Zack is starting to think that everything detects he is off his hide and seek game. Maybe hope will finally reach him?

bailey has to know something is up with Zack using phrases to cover himself. His mask starting to crack...

I did not seem him being a fan of musicals. Wow a character quirk.

You did make Zack speak like him more than past chapters.

The Richard Bach quotes spells Zack out .

Poor Cody..letting somebody's reputation getting in the way of helping his brother. Mothers can have the worst timing.
Smile-I'mTheEndOfAllThatYouSee chapter 19 . 4/20/2012
I'm 5 seconds away from dying of shock, seeing this updated. Great chapter. Poetic as always
Ellahello2 chapter 19 . 4/19/2012


*insert baloons and cake here*

this chapter was very intrigueing (did i spell that right?)and emotional,

i like how the emotions of the characters are protrayed in this story, it really makes you have a second look at the characters and wonder if there is more to them than what disney have shown...


Fraying Threads chapter 19 . 4/18/2012
An update, finally. :) You kept the pacing fairly toned. That's great. I can't help but feel impatient. What's Cody's reaction going to be when he finds out? How will he deal with his brother? Questions, questions.

Update soon so they may be answered! Again, your writing is just as amazing, though the chapter was a bit short. Looking forward to more Zack and Cody scenes. :)

Keep it up! :D
tiger002 chapter 19 . 4/17/2012
A good chapter here and welcome back to fanfiction.

I like seeing the conversation between Zack and Bailey, how Zack is trying to force things back to normal, but with what we see with Cody here, and getting a call from his mom, that may not last long. Interesting how Woody's misinformation caused all this trouble, perhaps there is a meaning there as well.
Fraying Threads chapter 18 . 4/9/2012
This fic was wonderful. I especially love how you don't cut short the details like most writers do.

Although, your description of the thoughts and feelings do make the fic rather confusing at times, the storyline and your portrayal of the characters are excellent!

Do update soon! Anybody home? Come on, you can't just write such a masterpiece and stop halfway! We readers need (underlined and in bold) to know what happens. Please update! :(
Ellahello2 chapter 18 . 2/18/2012
I'm gonna cry... T~T






P.S. (sorry about the overuse of caps lock)
cutesypie22 chapter 3 . 1/29/2012
Omg! Purplewowies was right this is one of the most PERFECT suite life fics I HAVE EVER READ. It's so gr8! I freaked out though, I thought zack was dead! I was so scared! I loved it!
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