|Reviews for Haigeki|
| kabs9000 chapter 1 . 5/28/2017
| Guest chapter 13 . 1/3/2017
This chapter and other are a bit rough around the edges.
A shame the author can't be bothered to use the corrections other reviewers have pointed out, it's just a matter of exporting to the doc manager, with CTRLF finding and correcting the sentences, and then saving the chapter.
I'm writing this in the hope that the author will care enough about future readers to do that little bit of editing at some point.
| ayleid chapter 13 . 9/24/2016
And that's done.
Well done, too. You can tell a lot about the care put in a story through its resolution. Not the final battle, but how the mess left behind is taken care of. That one was on the darker side of things, but definitely not hopeless. Blunt and to the point, open-ended yet tying up most loose threads.
I was especially interested about the protrayal of Setsuna. You held nothing back and put all the choices on the table. Compared to other similar characters in other media, yours was a "show don't tell" approach, less about her reasoning and more about the concrete options available. Maybe it helps to make her more sympathetic. Whenever I read about such choices, I am reminded of the bombing of Hiroshima. It's an old argument and I am not interested in throwing around more numbers, but the gist of it is that when there are no good options, when everywhere you turn there are only dark paths to tread... Well, I cannot help but to forgive the crime, if choosing any other path would have been a greater crime.
I find that the reception of such characters and organizations can vary wildly, depending on what is shown about their options, choices, goals and opposition, yet the dominant factor ends up being the reader's subjectivity, whether or not they can relate with those trapped between dark choices. Cauldron from Worm, Dumbledore from Harry Potter, the Church in the Nasuverse... they are all controversial entities at best but as much as they are indiscutably criminal I find that I cannot blame them for I would have blamed them more had they chosen any other path. Your Setsuna provides a good example of that kind of dilemna.
Thanks for the treat, I really enjoyed this story.
| ayleid chapter 12 . 9/24/2016
An epic double final battle worthy and in character with the rest of the story. Bloody, ruthless, awe-inspiring, gritty. Congratulations.
| Ibskib chapter 13 . 7/14/2016
Considering that he found no way to keep his manhood, I would say that he already lost, but at least he is fairly gracious in defeat.
I wonder what would happen to Ranma's sexual orientation once the transformation is complete, a question filled with fridge horror for any heterosexual male, keeping his personality somewhat intact would be the most important battle to win.
Noticed a few grammar problems missing etc. this could definitely have used a bit more proofreading to iron out the more obvious mistakes:
In less than stellar - In a less than stellar
had wracking - had been wrecking
That effectively that made - That effectively had made
Discrete is hard to come by - Discretion is hard to come by
before someone starting - before someone started
She had earned lauds - She had been lauded
that Mai and Hiromi - that of Mai and Hiromi
No matter bad - No matter how bad
| TheOne320 chapter 13 . 6/12/2016
Thank you for this story. It was one of the best I have ever read. I hope you never stop writing.
| Edale chapter 13 . 5/19/2016
This was an incredible fic in multiple ways, not the least of which was "incredibly disturbing."
I don't think I've ever seen personality modification portrayed in such a horrifying way. I've read a few fics that involved such things, but this is the only one that had me cringing at the sheer wrongness of it. It was like watching a trainwreck, you just can't look away because you've got to see just how bad it gets.
There's only one thing I can think of to really comment on this... There are a few plot threads with a few dangling threads that aren't resolved in the final chapter. A big one is how Ranma upholds his deal with the Amazons (personally, I saw him setting up a deal where they help give martial arts/combat training to the other magical girls while they receive their Tenki training). It'd also be nice to see an end-result for Akane, the ending here kinda leaves it up in the air if she'll overcome the loss of her powers, or if she'll break with them.
There might be enough for you to manage a short epilogue chapter, I think. Something to consider.
| Nup chapter 13 . 3/17/2016
Ugh through this I was like 'Whut~ WTF I just read?' This is probably feels like nonsense because I skip all the cringe-worthy parts, which is like, most of them.
Your writing is good, but sadly the story is not enjoyable at all.
| Nup chapter 4 . 3/17/2016
| numair42 chapter 13 . 11/28/2015
The measure of a good story is how much sleep you loose by staying up late to read. I really liked this story and spent the last few days tearing through it. The plot is not all that original, but that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. The story is fun, with enough humor and drama to keep it interesting as you reach the inevitable conclusion. I would recommend this to anyone looking for a solid fuku-fic to breeze through. It's worth the time you spend lazing about. I'm glad the author shared it with us.
| apeljohn chapter 10 . 11/25/2015
This is one of the best stories that I'll probably never finish. It is well-written and well-plotted, with some *very* interesting worldbuilding. I especially like your dystopian take on the magical girl concept.
My only difficulty with this fic - and the reason why I'm giving up at chapter 10 - is that it's not really the adventure story it initially appears to be. Adventure stories are tales of people succeeding in the face of hardship and difficulty. This fic, by contrast, is a tale of people drowning in hardship and difficulty until whatever minor victory they accomplish seems like success by comparison.
I'll definitely check the author's other stories, but I've run out of stamina for this one. That's more a reflection on me than the fic, though.
| Reymen chapter 13 . 8/28/2015
This story really was terrifying. But it also ask a really important question. What is the minimum that makes me me? How long can I still consider me myself and what is it worth to change the underlying parts?
| ahorsewalksintoabar chapter 13 . 3/12/2015
Wow. There were times when I was reading this that my stomach knotted in sympathy, when I felt physically ill at the trials you were putting Ranma through. I don't often enjoy stories where Ranma is drastically changed as a character but thats usually because the justification an build up are so weak, this was god-damn brilliant. The OCs didn't detract from the story, the main character was kept as well in character as could be expected of him through the trials he underwent and Haigeki/Shuken/Tenki are some of the most well thought out magical girl mechanics I've ever read.
Now all that said, Holy Crap there were some really dark parts to this story. And while the ending is kind of uplifting it also has a note of soul crushing finality for Ranma. She's not only embraced the adjustments, she's actively altering herself further. Ah well, still this was an amazingly well written piece, and I'd certainly like to read a sequel. Just, probably only after it's finished. I don't know if I could have stuck with the story after chapters six, seven, and eight kept crushing my spirits and leaving me in a cold sweat if I had to wait months between them.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/10/2015
This would have been a lot better if you'd crossed it with something. You should have tagged this as parody/crack with the overdone OC's that dominate it. As is I'll stop reading here.
| Harlequin de Rustre chapter 1 . 11/10/2014
I tried reading this, but the tone was fatuous and the verbiage overwrought. In other words, it reminded me of my old work,
Please progress beyond this