Reviews for Irresponsible Angel
BridieM chapter 1 . 10/27/2013
I like the way you incorporated the religious mythology of Adam and Eve and the serpent into your vampire creation story. Quite clever. :) Your narrative conveyed the depth of emotion and perspectives from the participants and the interactions conveyed truth. Very enjoyable. ;)
Hushi Taloa chapter 1 . 5/29/2013
For a one-shot, I did not feel as if your writing was sparse in any way. It had all the detail we needed demonstrating the never-dying love between Bella and Edward with none of the recriminations than I would have expected. And I loved the POV you used and your happy-ever-after. Truly, a lovely little fic. Thank you for writing.
Sunshine 1506 chapter 1 . 3/13/2013
Cool story u should continue it
Midnight Ariel chapter 1 . 12/20/2012
A very nice twist. Just a suggestion: The change in POV at the end was jarring enough to pull me out of the story. Staying in the Angel's POV would have been smoother.

I'll be reading more of your work as time allows. Thank you for sharing.
Dee9274 chapter 1 . 8/3/2012
Wow. Such an amazing short story. So different. So sweet. Such a view on what "would have been" if Edward got his way regarding a human Bella. What a great point of view. Me likey. It put a smile on my face.
prettyflour chapter 1 . 6/1/2012
Wow! This is freakin cool! What an original take on the 'what if' Bella hadn't been changed like she did in the book. Absolutely love this!
Bitches-Love-Canons chapter 1 . 2/18/2012
PLEASE, add more! make it a long story!
Kats Flower Girls chapter 1 . 1/31/2012
What a cool idea...I like the irresponsible guardian angel that put Bella in Edwards path just to amuse herself... but I'm glad that she gave one last gift to Bella, her youth... I was a little confused at the end where you switched back to EPOV though... maybe put some kinda divider between the POV's? Other then that it was really good...
TKegl chapter 1 . 1/14/2012
Okay, so I thought it was going to be super-sad, and I was reading between my fingers, but you helped me out with a happy ending. :-)

One thing I would suggest is noting the changing POV at the end -for a moment, I thought the angel had his eyes "locked on my beloved's face" and I was a bit confused.

Other than that - nice job. :-)
amikins chapter 1 . 1/9/2012
i liked the one shot. the only short coming is i think it ends too soon. it changes over to Edwards POV and we get 3 short paragraphs and its over, the rest of the story is fairly well detailed, its just the end that would need more. if you were to re-do the end i would say it would be good to extend it until shortly after her waking up. that would give you more room and oppertunity for details at the end. Otherwise i thought it was very well written. great!
nise7465 chapter 1 . 11/5/2011
I really enjoyed reading this.

I came across you, when I saw your new banner on Illicit Writer's blog.

I look forward to reading your other pieces soon.

Best wishes with your writing, while this O/S was short, it was well thought out and nicely written. Your writign is clean and concise with very few errors.

I look forward to your future works.

Denise
miaokuancha chapter 1 . 11/3/2011
I find this story delightful. I feel the level of detail is just right for the story. I also really enjoyed the vampire origin story. It felt like an allusion to the Garden of Eden, with the vampire Eve getting immortality from the serpent's bite rather than from biting the fruit of the Tree of Life (as God had feared humans would and therefore cast them out from the Garden after they had tasted of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge).

PM-ing you with further details. As for this, I also liked the way you ended it with the angel's gift. It was a fit payment for what Edward and Bella gave to him - a renewal of his interest in his charges. They saved him from eternal purposeless wandering, and he saved them from grief and death. Very lovely, and very well-structured story.
abbyweyr chapter 1 . 10/31/2011
Interesting pov. Enjoyable read. It could be expanded to maybe highlights that the angel was around for. Nice resolution to the problem. Interesting start of vampire theory.
tookeeluv chapter 1 . 9/30/2011
I love one shots and this was good. Although as much as I like one shots, you have gold at your fingertips. You should write this as a multi chapter. Doesn't have to be long. Spend a few chapters jumping thru her life. All the while having Alice saying I still see her as a one of us... and then her coming to the hospital room after he finally gives in and says something like I told ya. Spend a quick bit with Bella as a vamp and then end it. Sorry, I couldn't resist! LOL!

Thanks for sharing. :)
Raum chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
Hey there :)

interesting POV!

thanks for writing,

- Raum
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