|Reviews for Dungeons, Dragons, and a Little Friendship|
| Elcuentahistorias chapter 1 . 2/23
Pondre mi review en español si no te molesta.
Siendo honestos la historia empieza muy bien, la introduccion es muy buena. Pero el problema principal es que apesar de ser un crossover haces que predomine la tragedia de Dungeons and Dragons por sobre el ambiente de MLP, hay demasiado Out of Character de parte de las Mane six.
Applejack no es una maniatica de obsesiva con los secretos hasta tal extremo, si es terca, pero no asi.
Twilight casi destruye a alguien porque queria saber de unas cicatrices ¿?
Abusas demasiado del recurso del drama, haces lucir a Ponyville como Japon, una sociedad cerrada que desconfia de los extranjeros como si fueran la ultima plaga del mundo.
Ademas es practicamente canon que los padres de Applejack estan en mejor vida, asi que el echo de que los plantees tan crudamente en la historia como si siempre hubieran estado alli, es bastante shockeante, no veo porque la necesidad de introducirlos cuando, ya hay suficientes personajes principales como secundarios en el universo de MLP con los que trabajar, Granny Smith es la perfecta figura de autoridad en algunos casos, porque traer a sus padres del mas alla ? deja descansar a los muertos.
La introduccion me encanto, tus personajes eran interesantes, pero alfinal en vez de dejaran que ellos descubrieran el mundo nuevo a su alrededor, hiciste que el mundo a su alrededor los descubriera a ellos.
| Azjerban chapter 2 . 12/7/2013
Cartanis' explanation of 'why you are ponies' is a bit stilted. I'm also noticing a few run-on sentences.
It picks up quickly, though.
And now, reactions to the content of this chapter!
Heh. Druid-bashing wizard. Hilarious, but he should watch his words near the yellow one.
I tend to see Celestia as more of a warden, perhaps akin to the Valarim of Tolkien's work, rather than a full deity in her own right. But perhaps the same could be said of all DnD pantheons. (Cartanis: It was not by my hooves that I was once again given flesh!)
Well what do you know, flying Zebras. I don't suppose they have unicorn zebras as well?
Oh, Cartanis, of /course/ there are other creatures from your world here! You didn't finish beating the lich, did you? And the dark lord? Either of them could raise an army of darkness (tm) in that forest alone.
Look out for Minotaurs, Diamond Dogs, Gryphons, Dragons, and Moose. They might be your friends.
I see the elf has some personality... well done. Reminds me a bit of the text-based Legolas - seemingly silly, but only because he knows what he's about.
Oh no, Parasprites. Well, that gives me a good idea of the timeline.
PREPARE FOR SONIC RAINBOOM!
I'm enjoying the action sequences. Your narration is strong, evoking the characters' emotions and the scenery with apropos intensity.
Let's see some magic! Oh.
Oh, that's not good. I smell a deadly magical mystery!
Alright, so characterization: Strong.
Description: Good, seems like you're still polishing your personal style. I can't give any pointers on that.
Dialogue: Decent, though sometimes a bit wobbly.
Plot: Not sure where it's going, but they're fighting every step of the way (and making a bit of progress each time), so I'll give that a thumbs-up as well.
Potatoes: Not mentioned. I'll have to dock you a point for that, but it's really just extra credit.
Randomness: You've included that in the concept and execution quite admirably. I expect great things from the Pinkie Pie, though I understand that random characters of that ilk are among the hardest to write for.
You've earned a Favoriting. I look forward to the later chapters that you have already written.
| Azjerban chapter 1 . 12/7/2013
I appreciate the detail you've put into the Plot Catalysts. I'm also quite happy that you gave us a compelling introduction to the non-Pony characters /before/ they entered Equestria. That's usually a good sign.
You have my attention.
| pacificuser chapter 1 . 10/20/2012
Man! You are the most creative genius I've gotten the pleasure of knowing in a very long time! To think,I thought that creativity was already dead on fan fiction!
But then,you come along,and with one ultra-cool story set things right! in my whole life,I'd never thought myself capable of reading a My little Pony story! I'm the kind of guy who listens to Iron Maiden,never wares pink,has a mustache,and takes martial arts classes! For you to change my mind and open it up to a whole new realm of possibilities... Its just amazing... continue to update this story please... As in cool,its a cross-over with one of my favorite genres!
You should open a facebook like page for this story! Where fans can give constructive suggestions and discuss matters which are too long to talk about in the comments section! Go! :-)
| Guest chapter 6 . 9/11/2012
I love the group's name! It even gave me shivers!
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/8/2012
OH MY GOSH! My two favorite things in one place! And marvelously written too! Yes! Thank you so much for writing this.
| Qazarar chapter 14 . 12/18/2011
Amazing story so far. I can't wait to see what happens next, and what happens with the other six. Keep up the good work!
| Descriptivist chapter 9 . 12/9/2011
With the whole bet about doors going on, it seemed to me that a pretty big deal was made of the Carousel Boutique's fire exit window. It seems like either a superfluous, meaningless detail that should have been inserted less clumsily, or a glaringly obvious Chekhov's Gun.
| Descriptivist chapter 5 . 12/9/2011
So, in this fabricated universe where Cartanis has always been a pony, how did his horn break?
| Descriptivist chapter 3 . 12/9/2011
"The plow harness would of abrasively chaffed his flanks if he hadn't of kept them on."
That should be "would have abrasively chaffed his flanks if he hadn't kept them on." 'Would've' is a contraction of 'would have'.
| Shawnyall chapter 14 . 12/7/2011
...I didn't close this tab for days. I love this story. Never stop writing.
| progos too lazy to log in chapter 12 . 12/6/2011
Pinkie the rocker bard reminds me SO MUCH of Doug Sangnoir, which means nothing to you, unless you read "Drunkard's Walk". Nevertheless! I wonder what she would make of "Lightning's Hand" ("Hoof"?) by Kansas. My guess is either super speed, flight, and lightning creation and control for herself, or a simulacrum of Rainbow Dash at her most warlike with those traits exaggerated.
| Gomegadon chapter 14 . 12/1/2011
Hello there! well anyways christ this thing is long, and I loved every moment of it, I had to force myself away a few times to go in search of food.
oh and I love that perspective thing you do, the same span of time from multiple angles and POV.
I wish I'd found this sooner.
Wish I could offer critique but I'm no good at that, i'm Runonsentence Man you see and my power is to babble endlessly with nary a care for formatting and puctuation, aside from a possible overuse of commas.
Though I guess I did notice some typos here and there, no... not typos, like the wrong word here and there... oh I know Void Caller, I saw it as Voice Caller somewhere, no idea what chapter, it was in Andur's backstory, I really don't know why that one stood out and made itself be memorized by me, bah I'm rambling, I patiently await the next part of your story, bye now!
| Descriptivist chapter 1 . 11/18/2011
Confound these ponies, driving me to learn to make friends and join a group of D&D players.
| Dymian chapter 12 . 10/23/2011
This is really good. But you know what I would like to see? Goku getting thrown into the pony world? Wouldn't it be the most hilarious thing to see a super sayin pony? Especially if he goes ss3.