|Reviews for When There Was a Tomorrow|
| Rossi-222 chapter 2 . 7/18
Im sorry, not really posting a review, as much as a retort to the last reviewer, I just got to.
Seriously dude, we all know elites are tough, but they're not as tough as you (and themselves) out to be. We've seen a number of times where humans, not Spartans, just bog standard people, have taken on the bigger Covies in melee and won. Sgt Forge against the friggin Arbiter, the elite's greatest champion, stands to mind and while he got thrown around and gut punched, he still won and was able to stand just fine after the fight. Alpha Nine squad from ODST did even better, with Buck jumping a brute chieftain, the strongest type of brute which are, as you implied, already stronger on average than an elite; and he stabs its throat while Mickey rushs it and Dutch finishes with a sucker punch. Guess what, they WON. Hell, Romeo even survived getting a hammer lodged by it into his chest too. And not to mention all the times, in gameplay, where you, an ODST, constantly melee your way through Covies, INCLUDING brutes, even insta-killing them from behind! And don't give give smack about what difficulty you play on, if you can still do that in the game, then it's not far fetched here.
Secondly, Shepard, no matter the class, has been given augmentations by Cerberus that allow him to fire guns that should SHATTER his arms! He can also head butt a Krogan, with a skull just as, if not more thick than an elite's and is only slightly dazed. And he falcon punches the Shadow Broker, a Yahg, a monster even larger any of the others I've mentioned that is likely even stronger in physical strength and has more teeth than the Osmund family, right in its face and makes it stumble, while Shepard Dosn't even break a sweat! Add everything he and his crew fight on top of that, such as cyber zombies, hardened Mercs, killer robots special forces agents and yeah, Shepard has shown that he can dish out and take well above his weight, more so than even badass humans like Forge and Alpha-Nine.
Thirdly, Halo's story has has always been criticised, don't pretend it hasn't. I've seen a number of reviews that Have called it "simplistic", both by hired reviewers and YouTube comments and to a degree they're sort of right. Aliens invade, there's is a McGuffin super weapon that could destroy everything and the hero must stop the baddies using while saving the Earth. Tell me those aren't tropes we haven't seen before. But for the most part, people still enjoy it, because it's built on a foundation of likeable and rememberable characters, great dialogue, interesting background info on all factions and an atmospheric, epic and at times, mysterious and tense theme that elevates it above your average game. So no, Halo's story isn't flawless, but it's still great though, as is Mass Effect's.
And finally...You're seriously so miffed over this melee business, a technical issue in the grand scheme of things, that you'd immediately stop reading and declare this trash, irrespective of the quality of anything else this story offers, like the character interactions, arcs, set peice a and over reaching narrative and themes?
Well do you know what? Fine. Go. That is just a completely petty attitude to have and I'd rather you take it elsewhere. Any wonder people call fans obsessive nerds sometimes.
I'm sorry to the Author and I'm sorry to everyone else, but I just had to answer that. I don't normally respond to comments like that anyway but some reason, I was compelled to do so here.
| Archodus Vaxal chapter 2 . 6/15
(I only use Caps Lock because there's no option to use italics)
"He rushed Shepard stretching his leg out to kick him. Shepard grabbed him by the foot and forced it to the side".
See… THAT line right there made me stop reading. Why? Because, not only do you portray the Covenant as being far less capable than they actually are, but you lowball the Sangheili (Elites) SO HARD that it PAINS ME to see such inaccuracies in an otherwise excellent story.
That kick (at the VERY LEAST) should have broken (at least one of, if not both of) Shepard's wrists. Or sprained it/them, due to his armor.
Let me tell a story… adult Sangheili are AS STRONG as Spartan IIs. Even a physically WEAK Sangheili is still ON PAR with a Spartan II. Now… a fourteen-year-old Spartan II, who WASN'T wearing armor, has been documented as being able to beat up and damn-near CRIPPLE four ODST soldiers. ODSTs are regarded as the best of the best, and for good reason. IF an ODST were any better at his job, the UNSC might not have NEEDED Spartans. A juvenile, unarmed Spartan II nearly beat four ODSTs to death, in a fight that wasn't AT ALL fair. Four on one, and the young Spartan still came out of it nearly unscathed.
What does that tell you about the capabilities of an ADULT Spartan II? A lot. And Sangheili are as strong as Spartan IIs. Yet… Commander Shepard, despite not being a Spartan, is somehow able to shrug off a kick from a seven-foot-tall reptilian monster?
Marines in the UNSC are told to ONLY engage an Elite in melee as an ABSOLUTE LAST RESORT. Because an Elite is, not only going to shrug off the pain faster than you can throw another punch, but it's guaranteed to hit BACK about ten times harder. You either put EVERYTHING YOU HAVE into that punch, or you won't have the SLIGHTEST CHANCE at surviving the next sixty seconds.
And don't even get me STARTED on the Jiralhanae…
Granted, Biotics are able to augment their physical strength… but that only applies when they're ATTACKING. Or, at least, it has only ever been showcased as such. Even then, I'd STILL doubt that Shepard could have taken that hit, even IF he poured some of his Biotics into it.
And this isn't the only discrepancy I found…
"The alien struck back with a kick to Shepard's stomach, forcing him away, and a left hook to the side of his face".
Okay… that hook should have snapped Shepard's neck. Or at least given him a EXTREMELY severe case of whiplash. EVEN if he was wearing a helmet.
"The human Commander came back with an uppercut against the alien's chin".
Uuuuhhhh… WHAT chin?! Sangheili don't HAVE chins! They have a pair of split-mandibels.
"With the creature reeling in pain, Shepard grabbed the alien by his back and threw him into the barrier at the edge of the platform".
Okay, first off, a head-butt to a Sangheili's snout would be utterly ineffective. Not only is that the location of one of the thickest parts of the Sangheili skull, but I highly doubt that an Elite would feel very much pain if you hit it in the nose. Second… how the HELL can Shepard throw him?! Seriously?! What?- has Shepard been taking some sort of futuristic steroid?! Sangheili weigh nearly a TON! What the Hell is this gravity defying bullshit?!
If you really WERE trying to keep this as accurate to canon… then, honestly, you were doing kind of a shoddy job, so far. And I say that, purely, in regard to the Sangheili, here. The ship-to-ship combat was good, but… honestly, it makes me CRINGE how underpowered you made the Elites be in this chapter. And, uh… you portrayed most of the Covenant infantry as being less capable than they actually are, too.
Unngoy may be cowards by nature, but the higher ranking ones tend to be a lot more competent. And the Kig-Yar should have been much better marksmen, here. Like I said, it makes me sad to see these inaccuracies in a story that is so well-written.
Anyway, my rant's over and I'll probably never come back to this story ever again. I'm surprised that other Halo fans don't simply say "fuck this shit- I'm out" in response to this chapter…
Then again, I AM a stickler for canon, so… I don't know- maybe I simply respect Halo's lore too much…
And… WHO bashes Halo's story? Seriously- I've NEVER heard anyone speak particularly poorly of Halo's campaigns (maybe Halo 5's story)- not to the degree that you speak of. Halo: Combat Evolved's story, at the time, was praised for it's depth. Which lead to future sequels being praised as well. You seem to talk about it as though Halo is an underdog in terms of reviews and/or popular opinion, but… IT REALLY ISN'T! It's pretty much, always been 85.99% brilliant.
| 1529 chapter 6 . 5/9
This was an interesting start, but Shepard acted too much like Cerberus and the bad elements of ONI. Shepard wants trust and cooperation, but isn't sharing anything at all. Hiding the presence of the Reapers, hiding the knowledge that the Covenant knew about the Normandy, going behind the backs of everyone while contributing little too nothing (manpower is all that they have contributed)... while, admittedly, there is little that the UNSC can gain from the Mass Effect universe (if you're going by canon baselines), the Normandy crew is gaining quite a lot without contributing anything and acquiring a lot of technology for free.
Like I said, it was a good start, unfortunately it didn't sustain.
| Eipok chapter 9 . 5/8
You used the word "substitute" instead of "subject" when talking about the ONI agent. If anything it's an even worse mistake than using "sentient" instead of "sapient", in that there's no justification for it, even in canon. There were tons of other errors and awkward bits of dialogue and writing, but that's just one example, and I'm not about to help you edit or rewrite this story for free.
Just try to remember that as a general rule, if you aren't 100% sure about a word's usage or definition, either double check it or don't use it.
| Eipok chapter 8 . 5/7
EDI and Dot wouldn't have been conversing aloud over the ship's intercom. They'd have been communicating directly, and at much faster speeds. Two AI's "talking" is less like two people talking, and more like two computers networked together, in that that's exactly what it is. Communication occurs as fast as the two computers can "think".
| Alkeni chapter 25 . 3/24
A Very awesome story. Thanks for writing it. *grabs the sequel*
| Alkeni chapter 19 . 3/24
I knew she wasn't dead. But part of me wondered if you were jerking us around. Glad to see you weren't.
| Alkeni chapter 12 . 3/23
I ship Kowalski and Samara now :P
| alphadelta45 chapter 1 . 3/22
Very good story from what I've read so far. Your dialogue is very fluid and doesn't come off as cheesy either. I also like how you've written the characters themselves, but there are some canonical discrepancies that I've noticed. Plasma weaponry including plasma torpedoes and plasma bolts would not be affected by kinetic barriers as they are superheated gas and would either pass right through or start boiling the Hull of the ship underneath the barriers away when they impacted them as the barriers would not sufficiently deflect the heat. The CCS battlecruisers also have two energy projectors which are literal laser beam like weapons and would pass directly through kinetic barriers. The battlecruiser should also have a complement of at least some seraph fighters that they would deploy as well especially when facing a small, agile ship like the Normandy. The Covenant during the war also did not have the capability to create 'Smart' AI (sentient) like Cortana. That was an exclusive-to-human development that involves using a brain scan of a person as some sort of seed and complex quantum computing. These smart AI were one of the only real edges the UNSC had over the Covenant and without them the UNSC would've lost the war.
| Alkeni chapter 2 . 3/22
Very interesting start
| xThomas2 chapter 25 . 3/8
I really didnt like Kreave before tthis chapter. He was always an annoying, barely respextable thug. But as he was dying, i liked him. I understood him. He was the most human and tragic of all he characters this chapter. It felt like a side show throughout most of the story, but this last chapter made bim into a tragic fogure. That is good.
| Thomas chapter 2 . 3/6
I like this story man! I wish you hadn't pulled out the "it's another universe" shtick and kind of wish council was contacted but other than that was so cool.
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/15/2015
Lone Sword Wolf: Plasma is the fourth state of matter (look it up) and would therefore be vulnerable to mass effect fields. That vein said, it should fry the crew of the Normandy because the Normandy has an atmosphere for the heat to radiate within
| The Lone Swordswolf chapter 2 . 9/4/2015
Ok, I've stomached enough of this. I just don't know what's going on. First of all, plasma would completely bypass kinetic barriers. It even states it in ME that DEW's would do so. Next is how you have Shepard, Jack, and Samara square off against an Elite and win? Come on! Elites are far stronger than any human barring Spartans, but they're not Spartans. Their bones aren't coated in a nigh unbreakable alloy, they're not super strong, and their reaction times aren't measured in milliseconds. Also is how you say that with all those Covenant on board, only few got slightly injured and no one died?! Bull. Fucking. Shit. And another thing, the Covenant don't have AI. They use the Engineers.
| Guest chapter 25 . 8/10/2015
I like sixes death to me he when out like a bad ass