Reviews for Evangelion: The Rite of Spring
TerriblePersonExtraordinaire chapter 1 . 2/21/2014
Hmmm? Shinji is art school? Asuka's father is the principle? Whaaaat?
Granten chapter 15 . 7/5/2013
I have to say that Rei and Kaworu didn't really show real concern for Alois. Yes Shinji didn't exercise anywhere near enough caution when he brought a regular human into this, but they could have just left Alois far away enough to be out the fighting.

And so far I don't see a reason for Shinji to actually work with these two. Kaworu doesn't seem to have been enough of a friendly contact just for his act to convince Shinji to regularly put himself in danger, and there isn't any real explanation for what's going on or who these people are.

To summarize, in my opinion you've got a good idea and proper use of sentences and paragraphs (much more rare than you'd think) but it's more like the second draft than the final copy. A skeleton without the muscle and skin yet, if you will.
Granten chapter 9 . 7/5/2013
To be honest this seems too short and rushed at times, especially Shinji's willingness to go along with Rei and Kaworu.
iamjustanotherguy chapter 15 . 9/14/2011
Okay I wish you wouldn't have given a face to a name. I could have handled it had I not seen the picture. T_T I always hate when a good character dies...oh well great chapter and I look forward to the next chapter.

Blue Chaos chapter 15 . 8/30/2011
Good story. Please finish.
JMK2 chapter 15 . 7/15/2011
That had to be rough killing off a character of your own. Keep it up though this is good stuff.
TomyDe chapter 15 . 7/14/2011
it is good for people to realize the consequences of their actions. I'm glad we know he didn't have any hard feelings before he died. You are sort of right that the emotion wasn't as vivid as one would expect but just more details can fix that easily. Details not only beef up the word count but also provide key insights into the characters and the writer. Personally I love classical literature because the descriptions are so vivid I can understand exactly what is going on physically and emotionally. I do have a question; why does Asuka sit by herself and then sticks with Shinji. I would think she would have at least Hikari and some random photo girls with her. It is a good story so far and I understand what is happening so far(except what NERV is doing but I guess that is a secret you are going to keep) Keep doing a good job
TomyDe chapter 1 . 7/11/2011
Ouch Shinji getting firsthand experience of the hedgehog's dilemma. In the manga/show after Toji died/lost his legs, Shinji lost it and went into depression. It will be interesting to see how your Shinji reacts and how close or how far you will change his personality from the show.
iamjustanotherguy chapter 13 . 7/9/2011
Alright this it very good. Very good. I also felt that chapter eleven's soundtrack did make it infinitely better I was somehow able to read it in a way that in sync with the song and ended when it did. I look foreword to the next chapter and how this will develop. Until then later.

TomyDe chapter 13 . 7/8/2011
great story so far. Remember that non-action stuff is also very interesting. Exposition and character development resonate more than any battle sequence. I can sense not all is what it seems and I can't wait until we slowly get details
JMK2 chapter 13 . 7/2/2011
This is oddly addictive keep it up.
Solunar chapter 13 . 7/2/2011
The story has been very enjoyable thus far, and I look forward to reading more.
twilightwrites chapter 13 . 7/2/2011
Poor Shinji; he can't seem to be able to trust anybody. I liked how you gave a bit of depth to Rei's personality. It makes her actions and words more...flexible, if you will. And I'm rather sad that you thought this chapter was boring. Every chapter has something to offer, even if it is a simple filler. Plus, I'm very happy that you enjoy my reviews. Keep writing!

twilightwrites chapter 11 . 6/11/2011
I have to say that you were right: the soundtrack DID make it better! But I think I read a little too fast for the song (XD). But it was still an awesome chapter nonetheless. Update soon!

twilightwrites chapter 10 . 6/4/2011
Once again, your use of description amazes me. Not too much, not too little, and so smooth-flowing! I also enjoyed Shinji's little victories over Asuka. He needs to stand up for himself once and while, after all. I always felt bad about how he'd get pushed around in the anime. And bonus points for that little bit of Kaworu x Rei at the end! Especially since you explored different aspects of their characters, giving them some more depth. Update soon!

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