|Reviews for The witch with White Hair|
| Guest chapter 3 . 2/20
Another story of cliffhanger
| Kire98 chapter 1 . 3/17/2013
rewrite this! or continue it pls!
| GR4YS chapter 1 . 5/1/2012
Not bad, its nice to see a story off a manga i like so much
| Dattoban chapter 2 . 4/6/2012
Your writing is pretty good a few errors here and there like...
"I quickly change and dash off to school when I was in class the sit beside me was empty again as if everything was a dream."
You may want to edit that a little bit to make sure the general idea of what's happening in the sentences can be clearly understood by other readers, other than that great story.
| SAmaster01 chapter 3 . 11/27/2011
I can understand you being a new writer, but you need to get better. Proof reading would be nice, you're missing quite a few ed and 's and such. Varying the paragraph length would also be a big plus.
Lastly, Yuuto's childhood friend is Rinko, Ringo was a member of the beatles.
| 5.H.1.R.L.E.Y chapter 2 . 5/24/2011
But isn't this what is in the show too?
| LUVVY KITTY chapter 2 . 5/17/2011
This is very good for your first fic! This is my number1 pairing and there needs to be more fics about them. Keep working those ur fic will only get Nya _!
| Another Duck chapter 1 . 4/19/2011
I think the idea is good (probably, as it doesn't go that far), and the spelling is good.
The grammar, on the other hand, is all over the place. In particular, you have several sentences that should be split up into several. Sometimes you can just do it by inserting a period and capitalising the first letter in the new sentence. You also need to practice how to structure your paragraphs. Try with the concept, "one idea, one paragraph." If you start on a new idea, use a new paragraph. It's vague, but pracise on it. This goes especially for having a new character speak, and sometimes actions. So, if you describe one character's actions, and then start describing what someone else does, use a new paragraph.
You're a new author, so even if this fanfic isn't the best of them, keep writing, as that's the only way to get better. For a start, it's not that bad. I mean, the first fic I have here is far worse than my last, and fics before that were even worse.