|Reviews for Forfeit|
| TNO chapter 18 . 8/5
Great fic. But IMO last chapter is incomplete. It lacks the description how other Eds are dong (Edd after being released, and Eddy during his sentence).
Otherwise very cool
| Random Reviewer chapter 18 . 6/5
I know I'm really late, and you probably wine read this, but...
What the actual Hell?
This was one of the best pieces of fanfiction I have ever read! Like, honestly. You have SERIOUS talent. It was beautifully written, and the perspective of all the characters was so intelligently thought out and very, very meaningful. I love this show, but, surprisingly, you making the characters in it that I love so much, SO miserable, didn't make me dislike it. I honestly felt like crying when I read this. And everytime a chapter ended, I was desperate to read more! It was clever, ambitious, wonderfully written, deep, honest, shocking, understanding and caring. The characters were all so ON character, which is so strange, giving the whole plot and adult theme... It's so hard to keep characters in character when they're usually all goofy and cartoon-y, and then put in a miserable tale filled with death, swearing, rape, violence and things like that... But you mastered it so, so, so, so well that it sort of feels like someone who actually worked for EENE did it. It's SO fantastic. You are extremely gifted. I'm definitely going to read this amazing piece of literature again. It's just... GAH! It's wonderful. Really. You're amazing, seriously. This isn't just one of the best Fanfics out there; it's probably THE best Ed, Edd n Eddy fanfiction... Like, ever. Although it had a sad ending (and beginning and end, heh), it was thoroughly enjoyable to read. Apsoloutely amazing. Well done. Well fucking done. Thank you for reading this (if you did), and thank you for letting us all experience your phenomenal work. I feel honoured that I read this. Thank you for making it. Thank you.
(You should seriously consider becoming a professional writer and publish stories and stuff, because you'd seriously go far!)
| The Book of Eli chapter 18 . 2/15
Damn that was deep and fucked up. I must say this was good.
| Luciu Splendente chapter 18 . 7/20/2015
*WARNING TO THOSE WHO HAVEN'T COMPLETED THE STORY: MY REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!*
Hi Scary Spikender,
Like many others, I've come here thanks to the recommendation page on TV Tropes. That said page has disappointed me a couple of times already, but due to the intriguing summary and my love of dark fics, I chose to read this. Boy, am I glad I did! It's certainly amongst the 10% worth sacrificing a jawbreaker for! ;) This was a fantastic story, and in my opinion, one of the best- if not, THE best- Ed, Edd n Eddy fic I've ever read at this point in time. I'm honestly surprised this didn't get more attention. Your talent in writing is obvious, and I really enjoyed your writing style. This is a brilliant deconstruction, not to mention a compelling insight into what may happen if the movie's events didn't occur.
That all being said, this story does have some flaws, though in my opinion, none of them are large enough to demolish the story or totally ruin my enjoyment.
Firstly, to address some issues with spelling I've noticed. While the story overall maintained a high standard of quality in regards to spelling and grammar, there were some recurring errors. They mostly had to do with confusion arising due to homophones or words with a very similar spelling. Some examples are:
~ Chapter 3: "it's" instead of "its"
~ Chapter 4: "their" instead of "there"
~ Chapter 11: "scotch-free" instead of "scot-free"
~ Chapter 13: "foul" instead of "fowl"
~ Can't recall specific chapters, but I spotted "wreck" instead of "wreak" and "bare" instead of "bear"
I'm largely with Key and Lock in regards to the epilogue- it's written well and is very emotional, but I'm not sure if I find all the events believable. If I've misinterpreted anything, I apologise in advance. I'm no legal expert plus the details would differ from state-to-state. Anyway, I realise Eddy confessed, which would pretty much shut this case as quickly as it opened. However, would the courts/jury really sentence Eddy, a minor, to death? I am aware of 16~17-year-old offenders that have been executed or are on death row. However, their crimes typically include multiple homicides or are rape-homicides committed in cold blood and from my understanding, DO NOT involve self-defence.
Of course, there is no doubt that Eddy, or at the very least, one of the Eds, had killed all three Kankers. That being said, after it was clearly established to the court about what transpired in the lead-up to the event, the argument shouldn't have been as black-and-white as "who shot who and who has to pay for it", but should have been about whether the homicide was justifiable or not, and if so, what is the suitable punishment. Like Key and Lock mentioned, there is SO much evidence to support a justifiable homicide: Eddy's confession should perhaps have been scrutinised as he had credible reasons to fudge the truth (to defend Edd and Ed), a toxicology report should have found drugs in their system, they were assaulted to varying degrees (Eddy was even STABBED before any of the girls were shot), the Eds' motives and they themselves are very sympathetic, in addition to the Kankers being totally unsympathetic, just to name a few points. While Edd's conviction makes some sense, it baffles me that they convicted Eddy so harshly.
Yes, perhaps the jury doesn't want them to get off without any kind of retribution for causing the deaths of three people and, yes, if this was a high-profile case, perhaps some pressure was applied to make sure somebody got convicted of something. The leniency that was displayed on Ed is somewhat unbelievable IMO as well, as you'd need a pyschological evaluation to determine Ed's IQ and it would have to be at the point of what is considered legal retardation (or lower). For the most part, canon supports Ed being stupid, but I honestly doubt he's literally a retard. This is perhaps our difference in interpreting Ed.
Those two points are probably the only real critique I want to address. So now, the things I loved about this story, which are numerous, but I'll just mention a few to prevent exceeding the character count. First of all, you did an excellent job with building the dark, foreboding atmosphere and tone of your story. To begin with, the title, the summary (in spite of the hopeful part about "trying to solve their problems", which only serve to heighten the tragic aspect more) and even the genres you selected already instill the reader with a sense of dread. We know that this all is very likely to not end well, and failure is seemingly inevitable... and the readers are totally correct.
The sense of dread and encroaching tragedy is built skillfully on a chapter-by-chapter basis, and as one reviewer aptly put it, it really was like waiting for a bomb to go off. Most of the characters are filled with so much hate, rage, self-loathing and/or mental imbalances. Rather than looking into themselves, trying to accept their own faults or try to solve their issues, they continually look for others (read: the Eds) to blame for their own misfortunes and shortcomings, and worse, are quick to turn to the cheap, temporary and shallow satisfaction of revenge. While most of the CDS kids lack proper authoritative influence (or otherwise, parents that have a God damn clue what's going on in their kids' lives), the Kankers stand out as being believably portrayed to have their antisocial behaviour escalating, as nobody makes them accountable for their actions. They were probably raised with very little positive influence, and are neglected or plain undisciplined.
Speaking of the kids, the characters were written beautifully and remained in-character in spite of the darker interpretations. While exaggerated for dramatic effect, I could definitely see them go in this direction- particularly the Kankers. I also want to note that Double D's flaws were not only portrayed, but wonderfully turned against him. Too many writers (read: Double D's brain-dead fangirls) outright ignore his flaws, and turn him into an angel that can do or cause no wrong. While some have voiced disbelief that Double D would fall for the other kids' lies, I disagree. I think his naivete, kind-hearted and innocent nature would open him up for this kind of development. The characters themselves even utilise Double D's shortcomings to (tragically) great effect.
The ending of the story, Chapter 17, is amongst THE BEST FanFiction endings I have ever read, period... and I've been on FanFiction for a VERY long time- around 10 years. Dramatic, emotional and tragic, in concert with the brilliant writing, made "The Reckoning" so beautiful and powerful. It's a brilliant ending befitting a brilliant story. I find most endings to be lacklustre or "wanting", but not this one. So much tragedy and regret hangs in the atmosphere, but the heart-warming expression of genuine love between friends at the very end makes this the loveliest bittersweet ending I've ever encountered in fan fiction. Plus the epilogue, though flawed as I have previously addressed, cranks up the bittersweetness.
Again, I really, really enjoyed this story. Thank you very much for writing this brilliant story, and the best of luck for your future works.
| The Prophet Of Lies chapter 18 . 6/8/2015
What can I say a well written and fun read thats for sure. I bingged for hours to finish in one sitting and besides some minor plot flaws and how much hate these kids have I could see it. Good job.
| Guest chapter 18 . 5/2/2015
that was intense.
| Guest chapter 13 . 5/2/2015
Even though your perspective towards the characters of ed,edd n eddy are different from the cannon its kind of amazing how you had such a deep view of the kanker sisters or ed and eddy in the cannon the kankers were deluding themselves into thinking the eds liked them and Ed didn't really think much but from yours perspective you can see how much pain the kankers are really in and how eddy is so emotional about his whole ordeal.
| Guest chapter 12 . 5/2/2015
I've only read up to chapter 12 but this fanfic of ed,edd n eddy is really good. Its like a different dimension where the picture show never happened and its like I can feel how oblivious Ed and Edd are and it just goes to show how clever the kanker sisters are. You have this amazing perspective on the kanker sisters and Sarah.
| Pyromania101 chapter 18 . 3/2/2015
I wept when I read this. This story is just magnificent, a true magnum opus. And it made me wonder about exactly which company Ed is working for. Is he the series' in-universe Antonucci, doing the animation and stories for a show about his childhood? That would be so clever. This story just keeps getting better and better every time I read it. True masterpieces like this do not come around enough, and when they do, they need to be appreciated. Bravo, man! Bravo!
| NinjaStar31696 chapter 18 . 2/21/2015
I will be honest I didn't like the ending cause it was sad. But it was very good story and it kept me hooked and I read this whole story in a few days. Good work
| NemoChan320 chapter 18 . 12/4/2014
Omg...I am just at a loss for words at the moment...This was such a depressing and emotionally crippling story, but oh gosh, it was so well written and is just about one of the best fanfics I have ever read! I was just engaged and in suspense the whole time! The whole story was just so very well planned out and well executed. I wish I could see such high quality fics more often. I wish I could express better just how much love I have for your fic, but I am still recovering from the ending, it was so sad and bittersweet, and just very real honestly. Poor Eds never really caught a break, did they...?
| The Rellik chapter 18 . 7/25/2014
Congratulations...you fucking ruined my childhood!
...But on a serious note, this was by far the most entertaining fanfic of one of my most prized childhood tv shows. I...I just wished I didnt read it to save myself from the bitter ingenious that cultivated through my entire read of it..
| Saiyamekian Princess chapter 8 . 5/11/2014
This...this is HORRIBLE!
Not the story, but what's happening in the story! I've been saddened by other stories, but I don't think any fanfic (or any story for that matter) has ever made me feel just absolute raw dread for a character, let alone three. And that just means you did a REALLY good job! The Kankers and Eddy thing is just...*shudders*. And I REALLY like that it wasn't played for laughs. Many people seem to forget that males can be victims and females can be perpetrators.
| reviewing chapter 2 . 5/3/2014
I found it bothersome to read through the first chapter due to the overly verbose wording of the most mundane of things. Good writing does not require an abuse of adjectives.
| ed eddeddy fan chapter 18 . 3/28/2014
snik poor eddy poor double dee never a job