|Reviews for Ashura|
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/24
I'm crying right now, it's so sad, and so beautiful. It's not helping at all that first I can totally see this happen when Kaze Hikaru ends, and that I'm listening to Frozen Do You Want to Build A Snowman.
| gymgator99 chapter 1 . 8/1/2013
| kuja-ichi chapter 1 . 9/30/2012
God... Stop making me cry already!
I still hope that somehow Souji won't die in the manga, because I won't be able to bear that, but if he dies, this is something I could totally imagine happening in some way or another.
It's just all too sad, really :(
| Kitten Kisses chapter 1 . 10/29/2011
First, let me say that this was a really good story. Overall, it had some nice emotion, a good theme, and the ending in particular was nice.
I don't know how you feel about critique, but your biggest weakness seems to be tenses. You switch from past to present rather randomly, so I can only assume it's a mistake. No worries, though, most people hate tenses because they're evil little things that take a long time to really figure out. (And quite a few years of proof-reading, too, I think.) Just something to keep your eye on for the future!
The letter was a bit corny, mostly in the shaky handwriting and blood. (Mostly the blood.) If there was actually blood on the letter, he would probably have been on his deathbed quite literally. The way consumption kills is...well, interesting.
The end, like I said, is really well-done. A lot of people would have shown Sei's death, but you wrote that part perfectly- especially with the line about having to fight to the death/I'll see you soon.
The sad reality for Sei is that no matter what (and I intended to write about this myself, but who knows if I ever get to it), Soji Okita dies of consumption. I am rather painfully reminded of this throughout the manga as she thinks she's sticking around the Shinsengumi to "protect him"- and sure, she does, to a point, but in the end she cannot save him no matter what she does.
Anyway, I don't know how far the manga's gotten in Japan (I've only read the English release-not sure where to find the rest online in order), but the bit with Kondo was sad, because I know he dies, and yet, I did grow rather fond of him in the books, you know? He's such a sweetheart that knowing he'll have to die (historically) is just plain depressing. I liked how Soji's letter mentioned Kondo, though Kondo was already gone.
Anyway, nice work! Just watch out for those tenses! You are definitely a good writer. :)
| monica chapter 1 . 10/4/2011
omg did this really happen in the book or did you make this up but i got to say that this is really good i got to give you that,that was good if you made this up then you should become a writer because you have talent and people who have talent should show there talent to other people i just got to say that was a sad story ever i could'nt help but cried
| UsagiKuro chapter 1 . 5/4/2011
You mean mean author! How could you kill him? NO! I love you Sou-chan! *sniffles* Meanie! I'm going to cry all night! Really though, keep posting. We're the only ones who do anymore. However depressing that is.