|Reviews for Icy Blue|
| redhedlund chapter 19 . 7/10/2012
OMG. This is so awesome. I fucking loved it and i really need you to update, because I need to know if Scout is okay or if she's really dead. Vincent is gonna be so mad. I just can't wait to read more about all this. Anyway, your writing skill is amazing and i love your fanfic. And damn, I can't to see Mark killing Trent. He should have done it in the hospital. Anyway, I honestly can't wait.
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 19 . 12/11/2011
Sad face a thousand times… BABE, I’m sobbing! Literally throat welling up – good thing my review goes down on freaking paper… I. am. Heartbroken. BUT, you rocked this chapter. Oh. MY. GOD You had pulled in, standing invisibly in the room with them – so realistic, so I’m speechless! Brilliant!
That beginning…of Mark waking up, geez…I was cringing in pain alongside him…Can I tell you how much I hate Trent! He needs to die a very slow and painful death! ‘His lips were pressed together, and he couldn't breathe. Mark was awake in a panic, thrashing with limbs of stone. The tape burned his wrists and he choked, realizing where he was. A chair. Wood, cold. He jolted, testing the strength of his bonds. There was nothing but black surrounding him. And he blinked wildly, trying to grapple with the blazing headache in his neck. It was curling up his spine and strangling his mind.’ You wrote this like I imagined any person to react in such a situation… spot fucking on my girl!
THIS: ‘His eyes flashed open, blue irises blazing as he stared ahead into the room. A single light shone down on his head, illuminating enough of the floor for him to see his surroundings’ How freaking pissed do I imagine Mark to be looking? Dear lord… blue eyes blazing… my jaw hit the freaking floor – Billy in the making…
As much as I hate him, you have created one immense character with Trent, everything about him screams the villain and I love it – the way you capture him chapter after chapter ‘"I OWN THIS CITY!" He yelled, slapping Mark's face with an open palm. More blood, more throbbing. He could see spots in his eyes, black and white specks darting in his vision. Letting his head fall back, Mark gulped for air. "I've got ya uncles wrapped 'round my pinky and ya motha…." Trent crouched, breathing in face. "I could hit her, fuck her, kill her, and no one would do shit." His fingertips pressed into Mark's temple, shoving his head with a flick of his wrist. "Vin thinks I'm his best friend. This…city...is...mine."’ I got shivers! This was definitely something I could picture on the silver screen, you babe detailed this scene perfect.
‘"You're dead." Mark snarled. Trent raised his eyebrows, crossing his arms with an amused grin.’ OH I’m not fucking doubting it! Trent my boy you just signed your fucking Death Sentence – You’ve driven Mark into Billy… You fucked up beyond belief! SEE…I’m ranting and yelling at him – You have me hooked!
And this is where my heart broke… ‘"Uh oh. Daddy's wakin' up." Trent strode up behind Mark's chair and scraped it across the floor, turning so he could see. Chris was loose, unlike his mother, a dark stain spreading on his shoulder and leaking onto the floor in a large pool.’ My face! The pout! Babe you had me in a mess! :D
Chris’s recollection of the night had him pulling on my heart strings, he only wanted what any male would… ‘"Come on, Darley. Is it Mommy or Daddy?" Chris moaned as his mind caught up. He'd walked in the front door, arm around his wife's shoulders. They'd pulled up at the same time, smiling but tired from a long day at work. He was looking forward to a long shower and curling up next to Scout in bed. But when the door had opened…’ BUT instead he was met with a nightmare that was about to spin right out of fucking control… Thanks to Trent the prick! GRR I’m gonna jump in and gut the fucker – You writing is that freaking good I’m LIVID! LOL
‘Trent sighed. "Well, I'm bored." Trent raised his hand and Chris watched the barrel. He wouldn't let himself scream. That is not how he wanted to go. So he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.’ DUDE… You. Killed. Him… Tears slowly rolling down my cheeks – this is what happens when you create such an awesome OC.
:O :O :O And OH MY GOD… you… ‘"This... is your fault." He growled. Then he raised the gun again. Mark pulled, screamed, kicked, rocked, but was helpless as Trent shot his mother. She didn't react, but her body flopped, a spot of red spreading from her chest. He threw his weight forward and his chair finally gave way, tipping over at Trent's feet. His head hit the floor and his knees were pinned under the seat, the joints crying out in pain’ HE… shot Scout, oh my I hope she survives… but if she does and she wakes to find out that Chris is dead… Holy crap she’s going to be heartbroken – you ever seen ‘The Brave’? Yeah a reaction like that!
I know I’m quoting you A LOT but I loved everything about this chapter… ‘"Ya know…I always wished I could have been the one ta kill Darley." He said quietly, crouching down to tap Mark's forehead with a finger. "And here I am, gettin' my wish. All these years later." Mark tugged and struggled, but his despair finally won, just as Trent's gun flashed.’ He shot Mark to! I’m officially gobsmacked – you’ve taken me from emotion to emotion!
Really? Are you trying to kill me? ‘"Dad." His voice was like sandpaper, hardly understandable. Just watching Chris struggle for air brought tears to his eyes, stinging his cheeks. "I'm sorry." He whimpered, dropping his head to the floor. It was too heavy to hold up. Everything was too heavy. But Chris forced a smile through a grimace of pain. "I love you." Then he blinked, tears dripping to the blood below. "Scout." He stuttered. Mark rolled his head, looking across the room at his mother's figure. She'd been dropped to the floor, also taken from her chair. Chris' tears flowed as he struggled with the image. The woman he loved, still as death. And he couldn't save her. Mark squeezed his father's hand and watched as he faded.’ EVERYTHING about this scene was perfect – that perfect I was sobbing. Chris is the man! Mark should never forget that – no matter who’s blood is running through his system!
OMG OMG OMG You cannot leave me hanging there for too long, please babe update soon! You are an amazing writer – DO NOT let anyone ever tell you different. *BIG HUGS – I need one…* Love ya
-S P.S Still heartbroken… Chris is gone? Boo… Mark you get ya ass healed and up – GO FINISH THAT PRICK OFF!
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 18 . 10/4/2011
The smile! Oh the smile on my face when I saw you’d updated – It was like Billy Darley had stepped into my bedroom wearing nothing but a towel ) HAHA Yes it made me very happy! I am sooooooooooo unbelievably happy you are building up the story and have given me one more chapter! Love ya masses girl and as always your writing is amazingly done!
:D Okay on with the review! Well for starters did I mention I loved it! And THANK YOU for the shout out, appreciate it – you know me girl, always wanting more from you :P And I’m definitely demanding an update after how you’ve left me hanging :O :O :O That ending! :O :O :O
Loved the beginning scene, the aftermath of the shootout – really well done! ‘Tayrn sniffled and squeezed Craig's chest tighter, burying her face in his collarbone. Their lives had been shattered; all the normal drama of teenagers replaced with the horror of real danger, real death.’ I do feel for Tayrn, she’s strong but I really like the soft vulnerable side that runs through her – and her with Craig – love them together.
However Tayrn and Mark have some great chemistry, the part about her fitting perfectly *Sigh* Love Mark and their relationship – so strong – so dependant and reliant on one another ‘It was an acknowledgement between friends. Between men. When they were alone, Mark opened his arms and Tayrn folded inside them.’ A bond that had so clearly grown in the time of Craig going into the force… :D
‘When she looked up into his face, his eyes drifted to her lips. "I love ya, T." And he always would. Didn't matter if she loved Craig until the day she died, Mark wouldn't feel this way for another woman for the rest of his life. He knew that the moment he'd kissed her. Tayrn was his unattainable. But he didn't care.’ :O That whole scene babe between Tayrn and Mark – wow! Mind blowing and I wasn’t even past the first scene! Dude! He was just so tender with her – and their chemistry, so awesome! PERFECT! )
And the writing just keeps getting better and better – if that’s possible! This bit I LOVED – especially you bringing the past to the future ‘The old crime scene was born anew, splattered with fresh blood and riddled with hot holes. The ghosts had been given three companions to roam with them through the halls.’ LOVE )
The scene between Craig, Dave and Pete – Was an enjoyment to read the dialogue between them, their emotions; their reactions were so real and raw as to what had just happened – seriously girl you need to be doing this professionally! You have me literally hooked into this storyline and I ain’t going anywhere!
Have I mentioned how MUCH I love your descriptions! This scene :O :) Just WOW girl, you have this movie/scene thing down – it’s like I’m really watching these events unfold… ‘The blaze was bright in the black night, pretty in all respects. Besides the smell. It was like a barbeque, a barbeque that no one can enjoy. No one wants to inhale the smell of this meat. But they all stood by the hole, huddled in the new sudden cold. It was mandatory to watch. An unspoken dare.’ Brilliant )
Flashback PERFECTLY PLACED! What it is to have family like Mark has! ) His uncles are so freaking cool and strong and well just how I imagine them to be. Mark may be a Darley on the side but on the outside, his family that he’s grown up with Chris, Scout, Vincent, Donnie – Just amazing support for him. Love them all!
Just the family dynamic I LOVE – How Mark’s mind was currently processing the situation ‘This wouldn't be as simple as a phone call, but Mark knew Vincent would have his back. But how would he explain the things he'd done? How do you tell your family you've been lying? But Mark didn't hold much stock in the truth. Not after seventeen years of having the truth hidden from him. He'd forgiven his family, they could forgive him.’ Very true – they could forgive him, JUST SO PROUD of what your accomplishing with this story babe, the plot is unreal – sooooooooooo good!
:O :O :O You can only imagine what my facial expression was like :O :O :O Yeah something like that – jabbing my screen again! ‘Before he could react, hands appeared from the darkness and struck him in the chest. The last thing Mark saw was the ceiling as he fell, crashing down the stairs.’ ( MARK! I hope he’s okay and babe honest truth I am freaking scared and anxious all at the same time for what’s to come!
BUT saying that you need, like literally need to update soon! I must have the next chapter! I demand it! LOL OMG you my friend are amazing and this story is just pure perfection! Please update soon, *BIG HUGS* Love ya lots!
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 17 . 9/13/2011
In need of love are we babe? Well Sparkly’s here and about to dish it BIG TIME! You my girl are amazing and this chapter rocked! The happy dance I did to see you’d updated! About time that muse of yours came back for a visit ) I’ll say it again and I will keep saying it, I envy you and your writing style – everything just fits perfectly together and I’m engrossed after reading the 1st word!
I LOVE THIS STORY!
Question…How in the hell do you make me continually crush on your OC’s? :P Craig…new appreciation growing for him me thinks! ) Boy is fine! Tayrn is a lucky girl but boy did he revert back into a soldier almost immediately when sensing/seeing danger! Loved that scene – I can only imagine the fixed look on his face *Swoon* :D HAHA I’m so bad! Nice touch leaving the first scene hanging where you did – I was like racing through thinking ‘SHIT SHIT SHIT’
And what a dream Mark was having! Damn if there’s anything that’s going to shake him up; it’s going to be him seeing himself as none other than Billy Darley (BTW LOVE how your keeping the ghost of the notorious bad boy alive :P) Amazing.
‘Mark took a few breaths, planning. This was their turf. They knew it better than anyone.’ He’s so calm and collected. A chip off the old block if I must say myself, I really do enjoy comparing the two – to see what similarities start falling into place one by one!
‘Craig pumped the slide for her and a bullet clicked into the chamber, echoing in the cement hall. Putting his hands outside hers, he placed her fingers on the grip and trigger.’ LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your detail – I can imagine everything in your writing. Like I am standing right there with them, feeling the angst and emotion! I seriously loved reading how caring Mark and Craig were of Tayrn in that moment… how they guided her through, showed her how to use it *SWOON* Again! Loving those boys! Girl you write them ridiculously well )
‘Whizzing past the clusters of old bullet holes, Mark felt sick. His father had been killed in a gunfight, in this very building. Would that be his fate? He swallowed and panted while he ran.’ :O :O :O Good lord! Bowing down to you LOL Seriously, what a great fucking sentence! (Sorry to swear but damn! I just love it) :$
:O Very nicely done with the scene between the B Streeters! Trent and Ace are officially terrifying in every single way! The way you wrote them… I had shivers and was officially a little worried for what I was about to read further down…again I was racing! :D
AH the brothers! I do enjoy reading their scenes together! You do have me grinning like an idiot with this constant bantering and chemistry! They are exactly how I’d imagine them to be and how you detailed them driving up to the hospital and seeing the gate left open… :O :O The suspense you continued to build throughout the chapter was amazingly done – I was holding on to every word! ‘We pray they fuckin forgot’ So good girl!
YOU BLEW ME AWAY with what happened next! ‘‘Billy. If you're fuckin' watching….save my ass.’ You could really feel the anxiousness that Mark was feeling and that line right there really brought home how much he needed him in that moment. ‘Bullets landed in the ceiling and railings, splinters of wood and pieces of cement flying in the air as a fine mist of dust rose around them. After a moment, the shots ceased.’ AND your level of detail throughout the scenes it just awesome! I truly and always will envy your style!
Trent the prick just had to keep pushing, had to keep teasing/taunting Mark like he did…I was just waiting for him to explode – bastard deserved it! OMG my heart was wrenching for Mark having him hurt like that ( DUDE your evil, I’m emotional and it’s all your freaking fault :P Good thing I love ya!
Reading this: ‘"Not good enough? Fine." Then a whimper filled the stairwell. And Craig's face fell. "Tell 'em to come out, sweetheart." Trent cooed and the hammer of a gun clicked.’ OH MAN! I seriously had wide eyes at my laptop screen! FUCK!
THAT WHOLE SCENE: PERFECT! Amazing I’m out of words but I think my facial expressions went something like this :O :D :O :D :O :O :D! HAHA
Love ya girl, that chapter fucking rocked! And you my girl ROCK! Always around for a chat and virtual hug if ya need it – remember that! *BIG HUG*
- S ;) OH... AND UPDATE SOON!
| BloodiedAngel2362 chapter 14 . 8/3/2011
The untimely but very happy reviewer is here. You know I always love your work girl. I honestly can't think of a single thing you've written that I haven't enjoyed and your always improving...didn't think that was possible since you're already so amazing but yet you always continue to impress and improve.
-He needed clarity and the only place he could find it was on the other side of town, hidden in a dark, forgotten building.- You have no idea how much I am in love with that sentence. It speaks so many volumes, on so many emotional levels and that fact that it's a simple sentence conveying all that makes it even more powerful. You, my girl, have a serious gift.
-"Billy. Was he loyal?" Instantly the room went still, the name hanging in the air like dense fog.- I can't lie every time you mention Billy in this story I'm torn between screaming/smiling and crying. Because it hits me that he's...gone... and that's still brutal. A tribute to you're incredible writing.
-"Billy Darley was ruthless." Mark swallowed and the man continued in a hushed voice. "He killed many people for the wrong reasons, and he felt very little for anyone beside himself." The speech made Mark's stomach turn. Would his father obey Trent's orders? Charge into a local, favorite bar and kill mercilessly? Then Chris sighed, delivering a final truth. "But Billy defended what was his…his crew, his brother. And he died doing so." Too many questions swirled in Mark's throat, begging to burst from his lips. But if he said them now, revealed too much, he'd have to explain himself. And that he couldn't do.- DEAR SWEET LORD! This just about did me in. Honestly. You have Billy down pact, obviously. ) Especially the person that the outside world saw on the surface. I always can't help but think that there is more to him underneath the surface and you also conveyed that by this bit 'But Billy defended what was his…his crew, his brother. And he died doing so.' AWWW... -cries- Billy. That man wasn't perfect but he definitely fought for what he believed in. He was such a powerful, raw man and one that left his mark in the world... Hehe, I just realized 'mark on the world' and Mark his son. Anyway I'm just really impressed with this bit, totally blew me away and just increased my appreciation and love for Billy. Just when I think I can't love that man anymore you go and change my mind... XD
-His body was aflame. Dad. He hadn't heard that word from Mark in a very long time. It sent a shiver down his spine and a fuzzy feeling grew in his belly. Chris let a grin spread on his lips as he listened to his…son.- Gotta admit I naturally get chills from the fact that Mark is Billy's son but I truly do love Chris as well. You've created a wonderful character with him and this bit just pulled on my heart strings.
-Driving out to the hospital in the dark was a completely different experience than during the day. With the sun on the deserted roads, their abandonment fades and the trip feels like a country excursion, a path unmarred by the city that sat so close. But at night, the roads lay on the ground like an ominous trail, warning of the destination ahead. Mark no longer felt the fear offered by the drive, but embraced the ambiance quietly. It was the old asylum itself that truly affected him. But not how it should.- LOVE LOVE LOVE! LOVE TIMES TEN! Honestly the way you describes scenes and settings, especially like this blows my mind. And it inspires me to no living end. I meant it when I said I look at your stories as the bar, so bits like this make me go 'hmmm I wonder if I could improve this scene of mine... ect... ect..' Anyway the point is you write beautifully and this bit is living proof of that. It not only transports me to being right there with Mark but it also always me to feel what he's feeling, pulling me deeper into the story.
-So it had stood alone for over a decade, untouched and unseen until it was claimed by its heir. The last Darley.- SCREAMS, SHRIEKS and totally can't control my self. 'Claimed by its heir. The last Darley.' DEAR LORD! Are you trying to kill me? I'm so blowing away by this I'm speechless. I honestly had to take a few minutes to recover before adding it to the review.
-When he stayed at night, Mark equated the experience to standing outside in the dark, knowing you could see the lit world without anyone realizing where you lurked. Mark felt untouchable here. And tonight, he needed that confidence, that security. He needed to reach out to the man who lived beneath his skin. His blood. His father.- If I keep quoting like this I'm going to run out of space but I just can't help it. The entire scene had me gripped from beginning to end, on every single word and every single feeling that accompanied it. 'His blood. His father.' Totally having heart flutters over this. )
-It was his place.- GOLD FRICKIN STAR!
-Mark didn't know where Billy had died, but he'd heard the stories, knew the gossip. His father had died sitting in this chapel, and he'd died violently. Revenge had destroyed Billy Darley and he'd met his maker in a forgotten, holy place.- CRIES and has a moment of mourning for the legendary Billy Darley. INCREDIBLE writing.
-"He wasn't really a team player before he ran with Billy."- I honestly can't say exactly why but this really stuck with me. I have really grown a soft spot for Baggy, largely in part to your one shots of him and I think I really just love getting glimpses into his past, or what you think his past might be, since none of us know for sure. )
-Inside the window of the car, was a glimmer of a face. Most of it was shielded by shadow but the left side was exposed to the sun. Mark held his breath. He knew those eyes; he saw them in the mirror every morning.- AWWWWWW AWWWW AWWWW. Beyond pulled at my heart strings. I swear I held my breath reading this too. Just incredible. 'he saw them in the mirror every morning.' So incredibly powerful.
-Billy's hair was a dark gold, long down past his ears. He'd tied it back but some still hung down his cheek, crossing over dark stubble and a steel-blue eye. His stare held Mark like a grip, drawing him back to his father's face repeatedly until his vision hazed from lack of blinking.- I don't even know what to say. I just feel so empathetic with Mark during this moment. And the description of a younger Billy but with his same personality... oh man. YOU NAILED IT!
-Without a word, Tiffany turned the page and Mark fought to hold back tears. The first photo was of Baggy holding a small child, a girl with dark, wispy hair. Tayrn. She couldn't have been much older than two, but she was smiling from ear to ear, laughing in her uncle's hug. They were outside, like most of their family pictures, and the brick exterior of an apartment complex sat in the background. As he looked through the series of pictures, he realized Billy was in all of them, standing against the wall, smoking next to a tall, black man. They both held beers and were relaxed, smiling even, as the activities around them were frozen and saved in a frame of film. This time, Billy was bald, which had made it hard to recognize him at first. But his eyes had found their way to the lens in one photo, grabbing Mark just like the previous one.- This whole scene blew me away. Mark's emotions which I felt were very true to his character. It's the same thing I've always thought about Billy. Just because he doesn't show what's going on in his head doesn't mean he isn't feeling things. It doesn't mean he doesn't feel similar emotions to other people and something about Mark in this scene really resounded in me. And of course Billy with Bodie being relaxed and smiling. Just beautiful. The may not have been blood but they really were a family, not just him and Bodie but the entire gang and that was conveyed very well through the pictures.
-"Billy was a friend. Not the kindest of men, but…" Tiffany sat beside him at the table. "…he was good to me. And to Baggy." - Can't help it. I just love descriptions of Billy like that. He really did the best he could with what he had. Oh man... I feel another Billy moment coming on.
-"So, if your mother loves someone as good as Chris…" She leaned forward and reached under the plastic covering of the album. Using her nails, she gently eased out a photo, the only one with Billy's eyes. "…then she must have seen something in Billy…" As she finished the sentence, she put the photo in Mark's hand.- AMEN TO THAT! She gave Billy the benefit of the doubt, a second chance and I love that.
-"Protect what's yours." He whispered, recalling the phrase. It was spray painted in several rooms of the hospital, echoing like a voice from the grave. Suddenly the phrase resonated with him and it was clear what he had to do.- Talk about a mind blowing way to end this chapter. INCREDIBLE, AMAZING, PERFECTION! I'm repeating myself but its so true. This chapter blew me away. All of yours do but I have to be honest I had to take a few moments after reading this. It really struck different chords with me, tugged on my heart strings and really made me think. It was that powerful. You're a very talented writer and I'm dead serious when I say you should write a book someday, I would buy at least 10 copies.
I promise to review more for you tomorrow. Remember a review a day haha. Wonderful work as always girl, you will always have my support and my praise.
LOVE YA GIRL!
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 16 . 8/1/2011
Okay I may have to admit this right now, quite possibly the best chapter for me so far! Oh my lord, the amount of emotion, angst & pure detail you had in this blew me away! I loved it!
I especially liked reading the scene at the beginning between Mark and Craig; they act just like close friends and how I would imagine them to be – War not changing that either. Very powerful to read, especially Craig’s view of it… ‘It was hard to watch Craig's face; the emotion gathering there was tremendous and heavy. "Then, when they put ya on the ground…" He shook his head and took a drag. "….its the way they look when they fall. There's this moment…then they just go limp and everything falls." Opening a palm, he ran the hand over his face, sniffing from the memories swirling in his head. "They can't show ya that in training. The thud of a body. That's the shit they leave out."
HAHA How very true Mark, I don’t think you realise how true that statement was until Craig showed ya what he was made of – PURE BRASS BALLS! Love an army man, so brave! *Sigh* Okay back to quoting :P ‘"This is crazy, what we're gonna do." Mark grinned and clapped his friend's shoulder. "Not crazy. I got a secret weapon. I got you, man."
Your details of Mark are perfect, you really have that character nailed and I love how you portray him! ‘The evening had been more than testing. He'd suppressed fear, anxiety, and so many nuances of feeling that his mind was numb. But his body was reeling, the whiplash of his actions hitting hard. No matter how much he'd laughed and celebrated with his friends, he still felt the weight of his gutsy move.’ All of his thoughts and emotions just rolled into one…brilliant!
I think my own heart was beating so fast when Chris *Momentary swoon* noticed the tattoo, I think I stopped breathing for a moment! OMFG Did that scene capture my attention to no end – AMAZING ‘"Darley?" Chris whispered, staring at the ink like it was a ghost. In many ways it was. Billy Darley had always haunted his life. First, by lurking just outside the turf lines, like a panther in a cage. Second, by stealing the woman he loved. And now, years after the bastard had died, he was taking his son. Claiming his heir from the grave. Mark pulled on his arm a little, trying to distance himself from the pain in Chris' voice.’ I apologise for the long quote but you know how much I adore Chris and I could feel his confusion, his pain *I want to hug him like right now!* This starting off was amazing and was only the start of one intense fucking scene that I LOVED!
‘It had destroyed Billy, it would destroy Mark. The boy didn't answer but just glared at the tile beneath their feet. Suddenly Chris was frantic. "ANSWER ME!" He bellowed. Like night and day, Mark's face changed. From a hidden place, a stranger appeared in a flash of icy blue eyes.’ I think I may have to QUOTE you on everything! Oh my, every word perfection in this scene.
I was gripped, hooked, undeniably fixed on this scene… ‘"BILLY DARLEY WOULD HAVE NEVER LOVED YOU!" Tears burned his face as he ranted, fighting against the hands of his wife. Mark was unwavering, the stone stare fixed and unrelenting upon his face. It was done. The child was gone and replaced with the man in his veins. "YOU THINK HE WOULD HAVE FED YOU? TAKEN CARE OF YOU? HELD YOU?"’ I am really feeling for Chris right now, I can understand his hurt and anger and poor Scout – in the middle of them…
:O :O :O :O :O - This is my expression! This is what you do to me girl… ‘"I THINK ITS FUCKIN' HILARIOUS, YOU THINKIN' YOU'RE MY FATHER!" Mark spat. "CUZ YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME!" The two men glared and Mark panted, feeling the weight of his rage. He wasn't a child any longer. "DARLEY IS MY BLOOD! I AM MARK FUCKIN' DARLEY!"’ The similarity between Mark and Billy has silently moulded inside of him, he hasn’t forced himself to become like that – he’s naturally become the man that runs through his veins and I freaking LOVE that. Chris may be his dad but Billy is his blood and you portray that perfectly! The ghost of Billy will never fade…EVER!
‘"I'm sorry, Dad." Mark whispered the words but Chris felt like he'd sung them the way his heart soared. Squeezing on Mark's shoulders, Chris held him close, pressing their foreheads together from the side. Tears shone on his face, but he was smiling when he spoke. "I love ya, Mark." His son gave a small, silent sob, but nodded. "I always have, and always will. "Me too, Dad." Mark murmured.
I loved the whole freaking chapter and if I had to quote all that I liked, I would fill the whole review page! That final scene brought a tear to my eye and my heart strings were definitely pulling! WOW is all I can truly say to that. You did an amazing job, and you wrote the details so well I am currently in awe…
Update soon babe and I LOVE YA GIRLL to! *HUGS*
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 15 . 8/1/2011
Hey babe! Very much like that you’re on a roll with this one! Happy to see a regular update, I missed reading this and you are delivering goods like Santa: P
‘Similar to the hospital, the warehouse was left alone because of choice, not intimidation. Fear did that all on it's own.’ I enjoyed this caption of the dialogue, really helped in setting the scene but you always do detail amazingly.
OH MY Mark! LOVE – You certainly have a quick tongue and I like that – ‘"Ya ready ta drop your balls, Darley?" Russ grunted, flashing a mouthful of stained, yellow teeth. "Right after ya take 'em out of your mouth." Mark hissed, lounging back in an attempt to relax.’ That did make me smile… Love a guy with attitude as you know all too well :P
You may think I review on the strangest of things but I LOVE this vision… ‘Their boots crunched and scuffled across the asphalt and Trent lifted his gun, settling it on his shoulder, barrel to the sky.’ For some reason I picked up on it and could actually see it running through my head as I read )
‘With a small laugh, it was clear he mistook the panting for nervousness when, in truth, it was Mark seething beneath his mask, waiting for his moment.’ LOVED how you built the scene up – LOVED the angst and tension between the characters! Mark truly is badass – just like his father ;)
‘The man started to blink wildly and backed himself into the wall, holding his hands out as he started to beg for his life. Russ made his way around the bar and stood next to Mark, watching with a smug smile as the hammer was pulled back.’ A very powerful scene, I literally was hanging on the edge of my seat – wide eyed at the laptop screen! Ah man, such brilliant writing babe!
AND THE TWIST THAT MADE ME LITERALLY GASP! … ‘Another pair of clicks made Mark's heart sing and he quickly turned his aim, holding the barrel of the gun squarely on Trent's forehead. All the men reacted instantly, raising their guns.’ GO MARK! WOW – HOW HERO LIKE…GOD LIKE :P LOVE!
‘"You're dead, kid." The threat made Mark shiver, but he didn't let it show. Pushing the gun into the flesh on Trent's head, he bared his teeth. "Not if I blow your skull in half first. Drop. It." He ordered, the power in his veins was making him strong and he fed off of it, let it seep into his skin.’ I’ll keep saying it but you do have a way with words my girl and I envy the way you detail a scene – I can’t ever fault you! Brilliantly done!
I apologise but how freaking awesome is Craig! I want one! This snippet ‘"How's your aim, fellas? Good?" Ace's glare burned holes into Mark's head, but he paid him no heed. Craig took a step forward, his guns coming closer to his targets. "It better be. Because I can drop you in the blink of an eye." Mark shivered, remembering the stories Craig had told him over the past several days. Sniper training had made Craig an incredible shot, to the point where he knew the human anatomy better than their high school biology teacher. Killing a person had become a science and Craig was well schooled in the field. At this distance, Mark didn't doubt his abilities.’ I have to ask – how do you see Craig? I’d love to know how you in vision him? He was so solid in this moment and I loved it!
And oh my word, Mark has certainly made some enemies here!
I can’t wait to read the next chapter! I am excited to see what you have planned! Amazing chapter as always – seriously can’t get enough of this story! *HUGS*
Love ya girl
| BloodiedAngel2362 chapter 13 . 7/30/2011
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY... THRILLED that you're writing for Icy again. I have been missing this story so frickin' much you have no idea. I needed a Mark fix and you have certainly given me one. Three delicious chapters worth.
-He'd dreaded this day and when the bus pulled into the parking lot, Mark squinted in the sun through his sunglasses. He was only here to assert his place. To feel out the man exiting the hissing vehicle in front of him.- I see more and more of Billy in him. Of Mark embracing the Darley in him and I LOVE it!
-He'd lost weight, his waist narrow in comparison to his broad, thick shoulders. His neck was much thinner, loosing the trunk-like buff he'd built in a gym. High school brawn had been replaced with experienced strength, grooming their friend into a dangerous weapon instead of a flashy tool.- LOVE LOVE LOVE this description of Craig. You truly have a beautiful way of writing and like I've said before I'm very jealous. You totally deserve praise and kudos.
-"You guys can do better than that." With tears on her cheeks, she smiled as both boys embraced, clapping each other on the back. They didn't release for a while, putting true meaning into the hug.- AWWW. Man love! Nothing like it. I'm so glad those two are back again... that's Mark's Bodie. He needs him.
-"My playground." He purred.- -shivers, melts and faints- I totally had a Billy/Mark moment. Father/Son. Oh man! You totally left me speechless with that.
-Taking the real estate for a steal, the owners gutted an old bar to build the place.- Okay I might be completely off my rocker here but when you said they gutted an old bar to the build Stripes I couldn't help but think that the old bar in question is Four Roses. Again I might be totally wrong I just had that feeling for some reason.
-Mark picked up on the spot and made it his personal haunt, earning him a reserved table in the back corner.- Total Billy and the gang flashback. I really hope you don't mind me always comparing Mark and his gang to Billy and his gang but I can't help it. Mark is definitely a Darley in his own right and stands on his own but I just see all these delicious comparisons. This story really tugs at my heart because I love Mark and all the characters you have created but then I always realize that Billy's gone and Joe's gone and it KILLS me. It's such sweet agony. Just like thinking about Stripes and the Four Roses, I'm picturing Mark and his group sitting there and and then I'm picturing the bar scene in the movie and all the fan fiction written bar scenes that have been created. -sighs- Anyway I'm going to shut up about this now, stop my rant and continue reviewing your incredible story.
-Mark nursed a third beer, watching Dave and Pete hustle another clueless pair of men at a game. If there was one thing the twins did in perfect harmony, it was pool. Together they were unstoppable and never lost a dime. It was that ability that paid for Pete's endless weed and Dave's budding taste for strippers.- I love bits like this. Fills out the character's personalities and gives them more depth. )
-It was no secret that all businesses made under-the-table treaties with the gang to keep their doors open.- TRUE TRUE TRUE! Nailed it!
-The man that had returned to Stokely had killed, witnessed death, and walked away unscathed. He knew the true, gritty, frightening world that they lived in. No more sugar coating, no more delusions of tranquility.- Your bits and descriptions like this completely blow me away. You have this ability to say so much about someone's life, thoughts, past in a few well illustrated sentences.
-"Stripes' old man is twenty deep and he's dodging." Mark nodded, remaining silent. He felt as though a single word could spook Ace and end the conversation, his assignment, before it had started. "Ya want in, ya send a message." Suddenly his stomach felt like stone. Attack Stripes, his favorite bar?
"What do ya want me ta do?" He asked in a hushed voice. Regardless of his reaction, he wasn't letting this slip away. The corners of Ace's mouth twitched upwards in a flash of a grin and he leant forward.
"We're gonna hit it." Then he turned and walked away. Before he'd gotten to far, he spun around and continued striding backwards towards the car. "And get your hands dirty." Mark swallowed back a hard lump in his throat. His initiation. Three months early. He had to force himself to breathe.
He'd run out of time.- Oh man. POWERFUL! Mark cares about this bar, and he doesn't have anything against the people there so of course he's going to struggle with hitting it. I can already feel his angst and the last sentence 'he'd run out of time' WOOWIE!
-Then his blue eyes snapped up and stung Craig with their power.- -passes out- Seriously dear lord. Mark's eyes stinging Craig with their power. I totally have shivers and chills from that. INCREDIBLE is an understatement but it's all I can think of at the moment.
The entire conversation between Craig and Mark is perfection. I'm struggling to not quote the entire thing.
-"T loves ya, man." He whispered, skipping apologies. Regret was one thing he wasn't capable of with Tayrn. Craig nodded.
"But she needed ya. And you were there." Mark looked up and realized it wasn't an apology Craig was looking for. He was thanking him.- AWWWW. I love their relationship so much.
-Listen to Billy. Mark thought. Suddenly he needed to be at the hospital, sitting in the red drape of his father.
"I love this city." Mark whispered. "And I'm not gonna tear it down." Craig nodded and then pulled them both towards the door.- OH MY DAMN! This story KICKS ASS! Totally INCREDIBLE!
'Listen to Billy' -balls my eyes out- Are you trying to kill me? Just kidding but this really is incredible story telling.
-"The best way to die. Crushed to death while cumming." She threw her head back, laughing hard at the visual. He grinned, hugged her around the waist, and they rocked side-to-side, looking out the back window over the sink. "Big or small, I'm gonna want ya til the day I die." He whispered into her throat. "I love you." She smiled and tilted her head to kiss his lips.- HEHE I love these two and I'm glad they're back. Bits like this with them are just CLASSIC.
-"I wanna take you outside, fuck you in my truck like we used to. Remember that?" He stroked her, adding a second finger. "I loved fuckin' you, not carin' who saw." Scout relinquished a moan, his words were eliciting a burning blush on her face as she remembered her youth. The days when she did what she wanted because she could.- You seriously created an INCREDIBLE couple and parts like this warrant cold showers but they also make me soon. Sweet and steamy tied into one.
-"Fuck I wanna eat ya." Chris snarled, cupping her butt in two hands and spanking her quickly with a hand. Tossing her head to the side, Scout looked back as he growled and smacked the cheek again. She allowed a small gasp and he consumed her mouth in a kiss, his chest pressed against her shoulder and along her side. Their tongues danced the way they used to, desperate and needy, pulling in for more with each breath. Suddenly Chris whipped her around and lifted her to sit on the edge of the counter. His eyes immediately went between her legs as she balanced on the small space between the sink and the edge.- HOT DAMN! -runs off to take a cold shower- The SMUT QUEEN LIVES!
-His cock found its way fast and Chris looped his arms around her waist, placing his palms on her hands. Their fingers tangled together on top of the limestone counter and he thrust, his hips meeting the contours of her bottom with a soft smack. Turning her head to the side, Scout opened mouth, moaning at the stretch. The resistance offered by the position made them both whimper and hum, kissing continuously over her shoulder. As they sped up, Chris had to break away to breathe. He pistoned into her body smoothly, grunting in stutters as she wet them both. His facial hair tickled her neck as he kissed and nibbled it, swiping her long hair away with a hand. Their voices were a symphony of moans and soft cries, filling the empty house.
Then, the sound of a key in a lock froze them both, burning their bodies with another emotion: horror.- DEAR LORD! So first another cold shower and then... oh shit they've been caught. That's one hell of a way to leave a chapter girl!
You know I TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY LOVE this and I'm thrilled to no end to have this story back and you constantly updating it. Now I have this strong urge to write so I will finish your reviews tonight but now my characters are screaming at me. See what you do? You inspire me to write more. )
LOVE YA GIRL!
| sunstar234 chapter 15 . 7/29/2011
love it :)
mark is the man :)
amazing chapter update soon :)
| leeseelee chapter 15 . 7/26/2011
Craig is badass ... i love it!
heh heh heh ... because i know what's going to happen next cause i'm the bombdigity!
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 14 . 7/26/2011
LOVE! Seriously can’t get enough of this story! Amazing chapter as always!
LOVED that beginning scene between Chris and Mark, I did say I would love to see some interaction between them and you delivered! Gold virtual star! Just so real between them and the way you wrote the scene – I could really feel the bond they share. ‘"Craig came home." Chris raised his eyebrows and stopped, letting the water run uselessly. "Where's mom?" Mark added, tilting his head into the kitchen to scan it again. Setting a dish on the counter, Chris picked up another. "Went for a walk." He said calmly. "How's Craig doin', you guys good?" Mark nodded.’ Oh how the original livers of the life can lie? :P Chris that skilled in the art, comes like second nature! :P Made me smile!
This bit girl… I really enjoyed reading! ‘"Billy Darley was ruthless." Mark swallowed and the man continued in a hushed voice. "He killed many people for the wrong reasons, and he felt very little for anyone beside himself." The speech made Mark's stomach turn. Would his father obey Trent's orders? Charge into a local, favorite bar and kill mercilessly? Then Chris sighed, delivering a final truth. "But Billy defended what was his…his crew, his brother. And he died doing so." Too many questions swirled in Mark's throat, begging to burst from his lips. But if he said them now, revealed too much, he'd have to explain himself. And that he couldn't do.’ REASON because you just had Chris describe exactly what Billy was… and you kept Mark’s hidden thoughts and emotions running through to, amazing stuff!
‘Mark felt a tangible peace as his Camaro fell under the canopy of trees surrounding the driveway. Here, there was a power. When he stayed at night, Mark equated the experience to standing outside in the dark, knowing you could see the lit world without anyone realizing where you lurked. Mark felt untouchable here. And tonight, he needed that confidence, that security. He needed to reach out to the man who lived beneath his skin. His blood. His father.’ Billy, Billy, Billy ) Very happy over here that your keeping him close to the plot. I like the way Mark’s trying to find answers from a force that still lingers… Love the imagery!
‘But that wasn't what caught Mark's eye. Inside the window of the car, was a glimmer of a face. Most of it was shielded by shadow but the left side was exposed to the sun. Mark held his breath. He knew those eyes; he saw them in the mirror every morning.’ Very nice with the flashback, gave an insight to how Mark truly felt about the whole situation but THAT oh my, LOVE how he spotted that. LOVE the similarities between them!
‘"Protect what's yours." He whispered, recalling the phrase. It was spray painted in several rooms of the hospital, echoing like a voice from the grave. Suddenly the phrase resonated with him and it was clear what he had to do.’OMG Can I like borrow your brain for a day? PERFECTION, that line! Bringing back the Death Sentence motto and it goes so freaking well. AMAZING.
You need to update like now! *Puppy dog eyes and pouting* Need more and can’t wait to read more! Update soon *HUGS*
| Sparkly Blue Eyes chapter 13 . 7/26/2011
Hey girl, I was extremely happy and excited to see that you had updated! Oh lord I think I was mentally happy dancing :P *Virtual high fucking five* You gave me a Chris fix and I am bowing down to you my girl because BOY have I missed that MAN! :P
I enjoyed reading your description of Craig ‘The man who exited that bus was not the Craig they'd known. He'd lost weight, his waist narrow in comparison to his broad, thick shoulders. His neck was much thinner, loosing the trunk-like buff he'd built in a gym. High school brawn had been replaced with experienced strength, grooming their friend into a dangerous weapon instead of a flashy tool.’ Very detailed, really got an insight to the person he’d become in that moment.
Ah, *Sigh* I Really did miss Mark LOVE the scene between him, Craig and Tayrn. LOVE how Mark said Stripes was his playground – you do write him in a way that does remind me of Billy )
‘Unlike a true stranger, Craig showed no fear towards the new arrivals, only distrust. Scarier things had appeared in front of his eyes; that much Mark had picked up since they'd been reunited. Craig had been aged by time and war.’ I am having A LOT of hidden respect for Craig right now, I like the new light you have put on him!
‘Without hesitation, Mark stood. He tapped Craig's shoulder lightly to try and calm his concerned friend. Dave and Pete held identical worried expressions as he left the bar, crossing the room with his cigarette perched in his lips. His palms were sweating as he pushing open the wooden doors out into the night.’ Okay this scene right here…LOVE, it was I was there – I could see this happening with Mark being all straight faced 3
‘Listen to Billy. Mark thought. Suddenly he needed to be at the hospital, sitting in the red drape of his father.’ SNAP! I love your writing, I love this story – this line just really brought home what are showing with the characters and keeping Billy in the background is just awesome!
And Chris…Oh lord! I want that man, Scout is one lucky lady! But so am I *cough cough* in my one shot :P hahaha! Of course I loved that scene – you write smut so freaking well. ‘"What if—" Chris didn't let her answer, his hands were already down the front of her sweats. She gasped and he chuckled into her ear. "Let me touch you." He whispered. Her blood hummed in her veins as his fingers drifted down into her underwear.’ Chris is officially a god, I can just imagining him doing this and getting what he wants! HOT
Just that whole scene blew me away and NOW my friend I need/DEMAND more Chris goodness! So HOT, amazingly HOT! WOW :P
And how you left that chapter! HAHA I was giggling, you are a mean girl but I luv ya! Heading to the next chapter now! LOVE THIS STORY! ) *HUGS*
| leeseelee chapter 14 . 7/25/2011
It's so much easier when I tell you the ideas and your write them haha
Perfect! Now keep writing the rest lol!
| leeseelee chapter 13 . 7/24/2011
And now for the good stuff. I can't wait for you to write the rest!
| sunstar234 chapter 13 . 7/24/2011
I LOVE IT :)