|Reviews for Love Without Emotion|
| CREATOR OF AWESOMNESS chapter 5 . 7/7/2013
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/3/2013
This is really great, please continue. However... If Apathy has been stuck in Gluttony for 100 years, how is it possible for her to have been part of the war? Considering everyone who was in the war (Scar, Roy, Riza, Maes, Alex, the rockbella and so on) aren't around 100 and Ed, Al and Winry were alive when it happened, then it's impossible for Apathy to have been in it. Please tell me if my logic's wrong, I'm not that knowledgeable when it comes to FMA but it just seems a little weird.
Anywho, great story so far. I'm guessing you've mixed FMA and FMA Brotherhood for story purposes. I'm pretty sure you mean't kid Wrath and not Bradley, but whatever floats your boat.
OC's are really well created and I like how you've done your research for this. Well done, keep up the good work.
| 1Bramble123 chapter 5 . 3/23/2013
This is an interesting story so far. I like how you integrated the 'forgotten sins' (that's what I call them) and made them homunculi, instead of just taking the synonyms of the other sins. I don't want to see any more "Hates" or "Angers" or stuff like that.
I am wondering about the continuity. You mention Dante, but she isn't in Brotherhood or the manga... At all. She literally does not exist. Envy mentions Father, it shot the Ishvalan child, has the "monster" form, Ling exists, and they're all in the world of blood, so it HAS to be Brotherhood. Also, I'm wondering which Wrath Anguish is talking about. I really doubt she would go for the Fuhrer (CREEEEEEPPPYYYY; he has a wife already, too ') I would assume she is talking about 2003 Wrath (Little-Kid-Wrath, as I normally call him). Is her interest in Wrath romantic or not? If it is, I really hope you're talking about little-kid-Wrath. With Fuhrer Bradley-Wrath it would look like pedophilia.
I think your writing is pretty good. I do think you use too much dialogue directly from the show, but that's pretty unavoidable.
My only major problem with this story is Apathy's relationship with Envy. I do not have anything against OC/Envy or Envy romances. I don't even have a bias against OCs! They can be incredibly likable! I think that, with a bit more development, Apathy and Anguish could be great characters. The Envy/OC romances can be absolutely incredible ( Fallacy is a great EnvyxOC; it's among my favorites)! However, they all come with some explanations for why the characters are suited for each other and why they should be together. The romances all develop slowly. That's the main problem for me: the romance doesn't seem real. Sure, they might have loved each other before, but why do they love each other? What factors slowly made them fall in love? Why did Apathy give up her love for Greed so quickly? What made Greed 'not deserve her'? If you continue this, you will probably give some explanation, but it needs to be really realistic. So far, I don't believe in this romance (sometimes, Apathy just seems like a fangirl). Real relationships have trouble that require a lot of hard work to move through; in this, Apathy gets over her angry feelings pretty darn quickly. I don't mind this, but give an explanation, please. I also want a reason to want Envy and Apathy to 'get back together' and a reason for me to like them as a couple in the first place. Why do they click? Why do they deserve each other? What gives them a special spark as a couple? These are the questions I really hope to have answered. I am wondering if you were planning on explaining more of the backstory later, and you probably are. After all, you do a flashback at the beginning of almost every chapter.
Wow, that sounds kinda nitpicky doesn't it? I really hope not. I try to give my honest opinions on the whole scope of the story so far.
I do really like the concept of this work. I think the writing is pretty good too. The characters are not really Mary-Sues. It's super hard to make a homunculus character (esp. 2!) and not make them a Mary-Sue or Gary-Stu. However, the continuity issues are rather confusing (2003 anime: Fullmetal Alchemist, or Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, or the manga?). I also need a bit more evidence to believe in the romance between Envy and Apathy.
I really hope this didn't sound like a flame... I try to be as fair as possible ' I also hope this wasn't confusing. It's 3:20AM here; I'm a little tired.
P.S. If you are using Brotherhood or the manga, isn't a romantic relationship between the homunculi (Fuhrer!Wrath excluded, as is LinGreed) incestuous? They are all Father's 'children', so they're technically siblings... not that I really mind, but...
| Sexy-man chapter 5 . 1/10/2013
Awwww, this story is soooo awsome-ly awsome! Please go on! Cant wait to know whats gonna happen next! 3
| anime lover chapter 5 . 7/30/2012
hey give me the next chapter pretty please
| Counting Sinful Stars chapter 5 . 11/10/2011
Wow. Rofl. Nice. Oh dear.
| Counting Sinful Stars chapter 4 . 11/10/2011
Rofl! Poor Ed. XD wow. Damn. Oh dear. That's not good. He is PISSED.
| Counting Sinful Stars chapter 3 . 11/10/2011
Awww. Wow. Lol.
| Counting Sinful Stars chapter 2 . 11/10/2011
Wow. Oh dear. Interesting. Aww.
| Counting Sinful Stars chapter 1 . 11/10/2011
Huh. Interesting. Lol. Ling is the best! No duh.
| SaiChanTheArtistGirl-Risa chapter 5 . 11/2/2011
LOVE this story and can't WAIT for a new chapter. X3
Hope to read from you soon,
| rosebud1296 chapter 5 . 8/15/2011
D: maaaaaaan, continue! keep goimg!
| ksv12 chapter 5 . 5/8/2011
Omg! This is sooooo cute!... *O.o People stare questioningly* What I mean is: In a bizarrely sadistic type of cute... _'
On another note this is a great storie one that you should finish! *wink wink, nudge nudge*
But if you dont want to than it is great practice for future refrence!
My best regards,
| bakura'kagamine'ishtar'2173 chapter 4 . 4/28/2011
I could never fit an OC in a real episode but you did it flawlessly yay!
| bakura'kagamine'ishtar'2173 chapter 3 . 4/27/2011
I love how you update so fast :) and the image of Envy being all shy when he was younger is really cute