Reviews for The Pureblood Princess
Latinkon91 chapter 21 . 8h
Spoilers ahead!

For the first 13 chapters or so I really didn't like the story that much, mainly because of how pathetic Harry acted (Slughorns Party), but so he did in Canon (he didn't even get why Cho cried or why Fleurs moment with Bill after he was mauled was such a great moment, srsly?).

And Daphne was a bitch, she nearly sleeps with Jason only because Harry didn't kiss her - I would understand her reaction if Harry left her for Hermione, but not because he followed Draco. Luckily her subconscious prevented her from a really bad first time. Then she blames Harry on the bad night (he was an idiot, but she kissed Jason and she knew what she did when she got drunk on the party). I absolutely hated your Daphne when she got angry at Harry because he mentioned Hermione - but she nearly slept with another guy! What a hypocrite... I nearly dropped the story at that point.

But then it got better - she realises definitely that Harry may have many faults, but he will always treat her more than good and lets her do what she wants - over the next months she really becomes a better, warmer person because of Harry (giving dittany to Colin as proof). And he becomes more confident and less idiotic. They seem to be really good together.

On the last chapter before the epilogues I actually kinda liked Daphne because of her evolution, even more so when Harry is gone and she realises she really loves him. The ending is just heartbreaking.

Epilogue 0.5 was really hard to read for me, because I felt the despair of Harry losing Daphne, Ginny's death, hell, even Narcissa's death somehow was really sad because she loved Draco. And then on his travels he tries to cling on to Daphne with this other blondes he hooks up with... really felt the emotion in this chap.

Epilogue 1.0 was awesome, Daphne back to her bitchy self, Harry breaking through her defences and the whole thing of her just being a squib in the background. And the date with Astoria and Theo was just hilarious. I loved the ending with their daughter attending Hogwarts and everything changing - it was open for own thoughts but conclusive enough to know the general direction of what happens next.

tl;dr Story had very good character evolution, one of the best I've ever read. Really showed that they were meant for each other. The story without the epilogue was good (too long bitchy Daphne for me to be very good, nice Daphne was only for the last few chapters), but the two first epilogues are the reason I favorited the story. Was a really complex story, deserved an long review imo ;)
TakemyKryptonite chapter 1 . 6/22
Brilliant! Beautiful!
TrentIsAnAuthor chapter 19 . 6/12
Thank you. This was amazing. I can’t get enough of your writing. Thank you.
1529 chapter 21 . 6/6
This is a very good story, elements of it are definitely brilliant... but no matter how many times I read it, I always come back to one thing... why are Harry and Daphne not burning down Greengrass Manor with the rest of her family inside? That may be an exaggeration, but not much of one. Unless there's a very good reason then he family robbed her of her entire past with no consideration of anything... that is what keeps this story from being added to my favorites list.

I don't even feel that Daphne being turned into a squib is enough reason for the near abandonment that she seems to have suffered from her family (unless her father is a blood purist) as throughout the story Daphne seems to have been OK with going into muggle law. That, plus all of the changes to Daphne's character really make me not feel sorry for Claire Greengrass dying... with the way the family seems to have 'adjusted' their daughter/sister I'm really not very sympathetic except for Daphne, herself.

I also can't believe Astoria is marrying a guy that attempted to murder her sister (evidently not much familial loyalty there).

This story is so great that the lack of resolution in the end lets it down, on the other hand, the epilogue was unique and would be good still if you ever came back and finished the story.

Thanks for writing.
MSU19 chapter 21 . 6/4
Original story was good, ending of it was not. No resolution, or information about the end. Feels like you said screw it and just posted an incomplete story. Sorry, but your "christmas bonus" chapters made absolutely no sense. They did not tie in to the oruginal story until you forced things into it. Would have been 100% better if it was just left out.
TheDaniac chapter 21 . 5/23
TLDR: I enjoyed the hell out of a story I didn't think I'd enjoy, 10/10, awesome writing.

I was first recommended this story through a year old reddit thread which described it as the best fic if you're looking for a good cry. Despite my usual opposition to romances, I was intrigued and I bumped it up backlogged reading list. So, yesterday morning, I loaded it up and read it throughout the day as work permitted.

I'll admit that I had to slog through the first few chapters since they didn't seem to be setting up a story that I would be interested in. I also found the first person story telling to be a bit grating, and I developed a minor aversion to the word "quiet" (Seriously, I think every interaction between Harry and Daphne has one of them saying at least one thing "quietly" to the other. And Daphne seemingly had that adverb used several hundred times with her friends).

However, I persevered into the fluffy romance territory where Harry and Daphne finally stop beating around the bush and get together. I'll admit that I had to skim through certain sections where I found the situation hilarious or stupid and the story seemed to be taking itself too seriously, but that's probably why I have a general dislike of romances. I kept reading for the good bits, and I eventually reached the end the story way too late in the night, couldn't accept that the story had really ended, and immediately turned to the epilogue to find some sort of resolution that I could handle.

The good bits:
I really enjoyed the characterization of Daphne and her friends, not the least because of how different it is to most of the fanfics that I end up reading. Typically, Slytherin House is portrayed as this hyper political hive in which every single kid knows Occlumency, 11-year-olds are being physically threatened by the seventh years (as if they would care about them), and then our protagonist is able to come in and take control of the Snake's nest, as it were. I enjoyed reading about them as normal teenagers who are, in fact, terrible at reacting to high stress situations, who can't come up with some warped scheme in which every outcome is accounted for, and who generally just do dumb shit because they're sixteen years old.

On a similar note, I also enjoyed the fact that Harry wasn't portrayed as some sex god who gets his way with the ladies by winking at them and then disrobing them (then again I only have myself to blame for reading these stories). Harry would definitely be a lot-a bit awkward because he was raised in a fucked up environment and encouraged to keep his head down rather than learn how to socialize.

All in all, I thought your writing was great if repetitive in certain cases, and your wrote the first romance that I read and enjoyed.
Guest1138-333 chapter 21 . 5/17
This was a bit of an odd one, a fairly typical fluffy romance fic doing the whole school and relationship thing over the course of a year from a 1st person perspective. Some issues certainly, if you're not big on the mundane coming-of-age and general teenage drama aspects then you'll likely not find much for you, but this story kept me engaged enough to read it through. Some minor gripes (telling not showing too often, romance a little too easy given the obvious obstacles that could affect it, general lack of tension and drama, spelling issues) but I found it generally acceptable.

Then you get to the epilogue, it ends up being the most enjoyable section. The epilogues near enough stand alone without the rest of the story, by their nature they can feel a little detached anyway but as it goes full romance and schmaltz it's becomes a more definite and satisfying thing. It might be more of a statement of my own emotional state but reading the 1st epilogue with '3 Rounds and a Sound' playing on repeat got me quite teary-eyed indeed.
mrmayortheiv chapter 21 . 4/28
That was an awesome story, you are such a good writer. Even if the title of this particular fic was pretty dreadful!

I just wanted you to know that you are my favorite fanfic writer. Vitam Paramus was probably one of my favorite fanfics of all time, and so many of your other ones, including this one are also fantastic. Although I have to admit, there have been a few instance where I skipped out on reading one or more of the epilogues, because the actual, intended ending is just SO DAMN GOOD, and I don't want to lessen the actual story if that makes any sense.
arrancarxion chapter 19 . 4/21
This epilogue makes no sense at all...a good story though so it's forgivable.
MarinePotterfan chapter 21 . 4/19
I really enjoyed reading your story. I just wish you had more on Daphne's story.
YakAge chapter 21 . 4/10
I enjoyed it.

I generally prefer your later chapters (even though, I have to say, the Christmas Bonus didn't really add anything). The first few chapters are a bit too airy for my taste. You've done a wonderful job with the characters (even though I found Daphne's random snappiness a bit pointless and tiring at the start).

Generally speaking, a lot of your characters are also walking fandom clichés - like snappy, unapproachable Daphne; unreasonably bigotted Ron; sisterly but jealous Hermione and so on. Still, they all felt lifelike and to some extent plausible, and that's ultimately all that matters.

Overall, I like the idea even if the same could probably have been achieved with 60-80k words less.
The ending...well, I liked the idea you had with the epilogue - really. It could've been outstanding if you'd managed to somehow create a stronger connection to the earlier chapters, evoking some deeper meaning.

To sum it all up: the characters, in general, were really good, the pacing a bit too lofty at the start, and the 'resolution' of Voldemort... Well, you couldn't convince me with that one. Still, that wasn't really what your story was all about so I don't really mind either way.
Either way: Good job.
Sadhaka chapter 12 . 3/31
My God this is a sloooow story. First off the format of diary entries is a poor format for a story. The point if view is all over the place and you have descriptions of anyone. We get nothing for clothes, expressions, or place. It's a big void with only inn bee thoughts or dialogue.

Now let's deal with the real part that irritates the hell out of me. She treats him like crap, she's selfish, mean, and uncaring. When she makes out losing her bra and panties she never apologizes once. It's like he deserved it and that's just the way it is. I don't like her. I don't empathize with her. And reading about a narcissistic bitch isn't fun. It she your reader want to slap the entitled bitch.
mumphie chapter 21 . 3/29
Soooooo disappointed...no resolution! What happened to Daphne? Did she accidentally give harry her magical core? Why did she remember her family and not Harry and Theodore? Was she a squib? Did they wipe her mind and give her an altered history/memory?
Really want to know more about their wedding - it kind of slipped by quickly. What about their daughter? Also slipped by quickly. What happened after the Hogwarts letter? So many unanswered questions, I cannot even put them all here.
mumphie chapter 20 . 3/29
Really liked the previous chapters from Daphne's POV. Having a chapter from Harry's POV helped, but more explanations - geez. Another thing...Harry left the Dursley's with ONLY his wand, as his only possession. Then, months? later he has his cloak? And, what happened to Dobby?
mumphie chapter 19 . 3/28
Frustrating Epilogue so far - well written, but after so much info,then very little to go on. i hope the hints are that the next chapter will explain it all.
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