|Reviews for The Pureblood Princess|
| ThePolyglot chapter 1 . 11/23
Absolutely AMAZING story! The epilogue felt more like an independent oneshot than a 'true' epilogue, but it was so sweet, I had to check meself for diabetes :P
| Lucas chapter 4 . 11/17
I think this would've worked better in 3rd person, because then you wouldn't have to capitalize so much on how Daphne hates all the characters we love from the books and such.
| BillBrink chapter 1 . 11/7
I normally don't write negative reviews, especially for the really bad stuff that is out there. This story is not in that category. People who spend the time and energy to share themselves with us risk a lot, for too many of us to simply flame them in spite.
There are two reasons, however, I will most probably not read the rest of your story. The first is your characterization of your leading character. The only positive you wrote about her is her love for her sister. If she is "The Lead" it makes me not care for her. She hates most of her classes, doesn't seem to care about the most pressing issues surrounding her, has a very negative opinion about the characters for which most readers love, does not do well in most of her classes which makes me wonder how she expects to qualify for her A levels and complete both college and law school after Hogwarts, and, in addition, seems to be very self centered.
The second reason is your pacing. I know that not every chapter can be action packed, or leave us on the edge of our seats. However the first chapter needs to interest us enough to want to find more about this interesting character. Where is the tension? She is ready to spend the next two months relaxing at home with her family. Wow. A good writer will grab us at the beginning and make us want to read the rest of the book.
When I am wondering whether or not to finish a story that I have questions about, I read the reviews. I noticed that several had problems with your ending. None with the beginning. However pacing was a theme that was mentioned with some frequency.
I hope that this will be seen as constructive and help you develop your talent. Thank you for sharing.
| Shygui chapter 19 . 11/5
Not sure if you are still reading these or not but just had to say that I loved your story, sure it was a bit slow in places but overall it was a powerful and moving story that once I started I just had to finish.
If you do read these reviews can you just answer me a couple of questions,
1) Did Daphne drain her magical core to save Harry?
2) If she did, did her mother then drain hers to save Daphne in inadvertently causing the memory loss and her Mothers death?
I might PM you as well with these just in case you no longer read the reviews.
Thanks again for a great story
| Indra Senin chapter 1 . 11/1
| ZanyMuggle chapter 15 . 10/27
Wow. Beautiful. Thanks for writing.
| Lerris chapter 19 . 10/22
The Daphne centric story can work, yet I found myself skimming quite a bit. The biggest things that stood out were that Malfoy and Nott started a fight using weapons that could have easily been deadly. That is attempted murder and yet it was swept under the rug. Then later Daphne barely saves his life and somehow gets her memory blocked of the magical world, and somehow Harry shows up at the end, but you leave off before she truly recovers it although you hint that she does. If from what I read and skim is correct. You have a near canon ending, with Daphne's attempted rapist getting her younger sister and Daphne herself getting a mindwipe, although she does eventually apparently get better there.
Wouldn't it have been better if Daphne stayed by his side and perhaps grew strong enough to do so? Also, why have Draco live? Your story was near an ending and with Harry's rage fuelling that curse it could easily have been lethal. That could have been the beginning to a different path to end the story... IIt might have forced an actual trial where some truth could come out...
| Atomicity chapter 19 . 10/17
First and foremost: you write a great characterization of Daphne and the drama and experiences of a teenage witch (or at least it feels that way to a guy such as myself).
I had some qualms with the pacing of the story, but overall the characters were able to drive it along.
Now for the Epilogue. Way to unashamedly play with my heart strings. I'm still not sure if I mean that positively or negatively. It was heartbreaking to see Daphne with no memory of the wizarding world and Hardy trying to win her over once again. I'd have liked some more fluff between them getting together and Claire's 11th birthday but I can see it being out of place with where you were taking the ending.
Even though I would've liked everything to work out without obliviation/anmesia involved, your writing of the ending left a very happy amount to the imagination that made it as satisfying and bittersweet as it was.
I hope you're still writing out there, and I'm glad to have been able to read this piece among your other works.
| persassyjackson29 chapter 19 . 10/15
Awesome writing style. Can't say I liked the ending, but I'm a die hard romantic. Probably better this way because if you'd wriiten it all the way till the end lf the war it would be more than 300k words and I probably wouldn't have read it. Anyways great writing and I'm gonna read all of your work now. Cheers.
| Glitch-e-r-749 chapter 19 . 10/4
WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE CRUEL IM CRYING SO HARD HOW COULD YOU MAKE HER LOSE HER MEMORY WHYYYYYYYYY. Its an amazing story, though I found the pacing too slow at some time BUT SHE LOST 16 YEARS OF HER LIFE AND HE HAD TO LIVE WTIHOUT HER AND FOUND HER BUT SHE DIDNT KNOW. So impactful the ending was amazing BUT THE FEELS
| Ravenfeather2002 chapter 4 . 10/2
Good so far. Weird that Harry calls Daphne by her first name, though.
| Devil.Harry chapter 19 . 9/30
good one, thanks.
| Billy Ruffian chapter 19 . 9/25
Whew, what a relief! That must have been aggravating for your readers when they had to wait between chapters. Great story, though I'm still not quite sure when Daphne started falling for Harry.
| Billy Ruffian chapter 18 . 9/25
| Firecanburn chapter 19 . 9/15
I don't know if you even read these anymore, but I had to log in and review. I haven't logged in for maybe 3 years, and prior to that another 2-3.
I come back to HP fanfiction every once in a while when I'm too stressed to focus on real books, and this story reminded me why I loved this genre for so many years.
Your writing is a tiny bit scattered in a few places, but overall I found it very well written. I think you captured the attitude of a 16-17 year old witch surprisingly well, given that its harry potter fanfiction.
The ending is honestly the part that warrants this review, though. I think the story would be much less powerful if not for this wonderful way to end it. It leaves just enough mystery while answering a ton of questions in a very oblique and enjoyable way. It's like solving a simple puzzle while thoroughly enjoying the ride.
Thank you for writing such a wonderful story. It made my last 2-ish days pretty great and even taught me a bit about myself. After all, that's what good writing is meant to do right?
I hope you keep writing. No matter what genre or piece, I think its important to keep writing. Good luck with everything in your life, and thanks again for your small contribution to the HP fanfiction world. I'll throw in a favorite so I remember to come back after a few years.
Always a pleasure.