Reviews for Arddun Lleuad |
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![]() ![]() ![]() For those who ever want to see the continuation, you can find links in his DA accounts profile shouts. You can find it with a google search for priderage or go to [slash]priderage |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really think Chester overreacts hugely to the issue surrounding his phone. Running back... blaming himself for not wanting to terrify children... it doesn't seem sensible to me. There was a good chance no one would ever have found any part of the phone intact, but even given that they did, what damage is he afraid it will do to the civilization? Seriously? Teach them that a finer technology is possible? I don't see how that constitutes harm. Plus, after the phone was discovered, taking it back would cause a huge loss of trust by the locals... whose help, again, he needs to get home. Also, the utterances of the ponies have been translated back into English somehow. Oops! And I noticed there were missing section breaks in the previous chapter. Oh, well. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Rereading in 2019! I'd forgotten how gallant Praetor was. It's rather fascinating how the conflict of morals is set up here. And yet another count against the Prime Directive... which really shouldn't apply if you're trying to get home and need help doing it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Bravo This is a beautiful story and I thank you for writing it |
![]() ![]() ![]() Thank you for your nice story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() OH...MY... ASDFJKKMMHWYGDIBY Holy mother trucker that was awesome! And I'm not just saying that either. This is the most beautifully written MLP story I've read on yet. I'm not exaggerating, you're the next Stephen King. This story was enchanting, and I'm horrified that: #1, you haven't made another, and #2: this story has only garnered 23 reviews (including mine.) The ending was kinda bogus and confusing, but other than that this was one of the best stories I've ever had the pleasure of reading, and this story definitely warrants a Bubbahcakes Stamp of Approval. Thank you for making this wonderful story. Peace out. |
![]() ![]() ![]() please make a sequel for this awesome fic i really want to see what would happen next |
![]() ![]() ![]() good chapter |
![]() ![]() Unlikeable characters can be very challenging to write and very rewarding to pull off - Yossarian from Catch-22 comes to mind. The thing is, Chester is one of those characters that I don't even love to hate. His basis is solid enough - human nerd with no survivalist skills is dropped into Adventure Country and has to just work things out, and the only advantage he has is that his sense of chivalry and courtly love which is obsolete in his own environment actually works in his new one. The problem was that this strength of his was intolerable. Show me any female, human or pony, from any time period, who wouldn't roll her eyes even a little at being called "moon-sonnet." Chester's pet names for and behavior towards Luna were tiresome at their best, and his lapses in this courtly manner - namely the bouts of profanity and the occasional assaultive behavior - made Chester's abrupt conversions back to Ye Olde Saintely Heroe look fake and theatrical. Chester was the main drag on the story, but there were also a couple structural issues that weren't a big deal but warrant mentioning: sometimes the perspective swaps were hard to follow, Praetor had big potential but was poorly developed, the main six were practically trimmed out of the show with scissors with no personal spin on their personalities, and a few too many things, such as the romance, were hand-waved with magic. But hey, as long as you enjoyed writing it, it's all good, and I say that with no sarcasm. Just a few things to keep in mind when you sit down to work on your next piece. I felt the need to write this because you started with some really strong elements and then didn't rock out with them like you could have. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This was truly one of the more complex Luna stories that I've ever read. It was heartbreaking to read much of it, as I could tell what would happen and I didn't want it to be true! I was wondering if I could use the phrase 'consort of the night' as a reference to your story in a story I'm writing. I won't even think of using that until I get your permission. Anyway, thanks! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Is this poasted on fimfiction cause if it isn't may I poast it and give all credit back to you with a link to your profile page |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow...This...just..wow honestly, at first, i thought this would be a cleche, horrible story, but it finished a amazing, well writted story that i would LOOOOVE to see more of, or a continuation of this. (long story short: EPIC!) |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love this story. You should continue it. I just can't imagine it ending like this. It seems like you have something planned. If not you should still work on this. |
![]() ![]() ![]() That was the MOST EPIC THING IVE EVER READ. Sad but EPIC. |
![]() ![]() ![]() REVIEWER'S NOTE: The magic of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic has consumed my life in recent months and at last it's time for me to give back. I intend to soon write some fan fiction of my own, but first, I've resolved to write reviews! I've distilled my favorite stories into a top ten list (which may not include stories begun after June 30th, 2011), and it's with those ten tales I intend to begin. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - #1: Arddun Lleuad In your final author's note, you reveal that writing this story was a joy from beginning to end. I can certainly believe it and I would hope so, as it's a tremendous work clearly drawn in substantial proportions from the heart. I may not have liked reading it as much as you liked writing it, but it's got to be close, because I fell in love with this story. It moved me more than any other among the hundreds of pony stories I've read. It made me cry, and not cheap transient tears, either, but deep ones, borne of sentiment that endured. I'd settled into thinking "Administration is Magic" was my favorite pony story when I happened upon "Arddun Lleuad". It wasn't long before I found myself lingering when it came up in my rotation, hesitant to read too quickly. I didn't know before reading what it would be about; I don't recall having read any description. When the moon took on an important role, I thought, "Wouldn't it be funny if Princess Luna got wrapped up in this somehow?" But when she did, she redirected the story with the infusion of a whole new dimension. It had been an enjoyable first contact read-I relished Chester's first impressions of everyone and everything in Equestria, starting with Big Mac and Applejack. He was so delightfully amazed and entranced, an unusually realistic-seeming newcomer to a fantasy world, neither a screaming coward nor a stoic everyman hero nor an all-accepting fool. Then came the weight of Praetor and the guard, lending extra solemnity to a tale of wonder, and there was also the thread of the cell phone, so seemingly unimportant from my point of view, but rendered so effectively as a priority to Chester that it made me care not just about the fate of the phone, but about him, because his adherence to something like the Prime Directive told me so much about who he was. All this suffused the otherwise ordinary tale of a man dropped into a fairytale world with unusual and vivid color. But then came the romance. A touching romance, and a passionate one, and very well-written as well. I hadn't expected it, but it seemed perfectly in tune with the sentiment you'd built beforehand. And yet this was also an unusual romance in so many ways-pony and human, royalty and commoner, strangers of very different kinds. But beyond that, it was a destined romance. One cemented by magic. One rendered inevitable by Luna's spell, which casts a question over the whole thing: Should it be? Should two lovers really accept magical prowess as the force ultimately binding them together? For Chester and Luna there was hardly any question, but in this, as with the phone and the Prime Directive, I the reader found myself questioning our protagonist. Some stories breed frustration when you question the characters, making it hard to identify with anyone, but not so here-the effect was to erect an even tougher problem for me, because I -did- identify with Chester, but on top of the obstacles of his situation, I had to imagine bearing his conscience and principles as well. This made for an utterly poignant narrative, from Ponyville to the palace to the Court to the amazing climax. And in that climax, once again I was faced with the stark, and-given the joys of the Equestria you portrayed-almost tragic fact that I am not Chester. In such a terrible, overwhelming situation as the trick he and Luna found themselves prey to, it's impossible to know how one would react, but I imagine that I would have, tremblingly, come clean-confessed my fears and my betrayal to Celestia, and tried to convince Luna to do the same. The fact that he came to accept his role in exile without all that much struggle underscores the fact that the greatest tragedy of this work isn't that which was perpetrated by the mysterious shadow. It's the problem of interventionism, the sadness of changing things by immersing oneself in them. This is a theme that suffuses our experiences with beautiful things on all scales, from quantum mechanics to delicate spider webs to ephemeral art to "untouched" civilizations to the ecosystems of nature. You've captured this theme and applied it to My Little Pony brilliantly. And of course, it's also about another familiar theme: Love above all. You made this worn concept shine anew through the sheer strength of the central relationship that you fueled through such touching shared memories, through such delicate physical intimacy, and through poetic internal and external dialogue. It was truly a joy reading this story. The final notes you linked to made it clear how much work you put into pacing it just right and making the logic fit together just so, and I appreciate it. Well done, sir. Out of over four hundred pony stories I've read on , I liked yours the very best. |