|Reviews for Star Fox, the Ultra Chronicles|
| JustAnAverageGuy101 chapter 1 . 7/4/2019
Amazing and well written
| ShadeWave chapter 6 . 1/23/2016
If Wolf did that to any of my friends I would have done the same as Jim. Awesome Chapter dude
| CanzetYote chapter 7 . 4/4/2014
Awwww...poor Krystal. It broke my heart when she started crying.
Every single time I read the part where Krystal cries in this chapter, I fantasize licking those tears coming down Krystal's muzzle with my tongue, hugging her and giving her a back rub while gazing deep into her beautiful blue eyes.
If I licked Krystal's tears from her muzzle with my tongue and gave her a back massage to comfort her, how would she react?
I hope this review doesn't sound too weird, I guess I have a little crush on Krystal.
| CanzetYote chapter 20 . 10/3/2013
Aww...I felt so sorry for Krystal when she started crying. I wish I could just lick Krystal's tears from her muzzle and hug her.
| Justin C chapter 8 . 6/23/2011
Well all I can say is that I never thought my stories would inspire a hardened soldier to write one of their own, much less realizing that there is another who loves Krystal as much as I do. I'm honored by what you did. Really I am.
Though I must confess, the final fight was a bit underwhelming. Mostly because I wasn't familiar too much with Ultraman's powers or the beast he fought. There were a few grammatical and spelling errors here and there, but then again what story doesn't have those things? At this point I see two things that need improving:
First is spacing out dialogue along with the paragraphs, and providing more in-depth explanations for the Ultraman mythos. Because this final chapter leaves me with more questions than answers. Even so, it was a good end to your first attempt and I'm looking onward with high hopes for the sequel.
Until next time my Ultra friend,
| Justin C chapter 7 . 6/23/2011
This was a pretty intense chapter. I noticed you included singing like I did. I originally thought that was a bad decision but perhaps not, it seemed to work here. Though I'm a bit confused as to the argument between Jim and Krystal. At first it sounded like playful banter and then somehow escalated into something that would bring her to tears. Care to explain? Unless I'm just not understanding it.
Aside from that, it was undoubtedly enjoyable. I could actually see the battle between the Ultra and Spyborg unfold in my mind's eye. A truly epic sight. And I know I've said it before but...YOU MUST SEPARATE DIALOGUE WITH A NEW PARAGRAPH! That is unless you plan on editing this later.
On to the final adventure!
| Justin C chapter 6 . 6/23/2011
Much like when I wrote this scene, it was a such a rush to plan. I say that because I felt a sense of Deja Vu in reading this chapter. Don't get me wrong though, I enjoyed it because it carried that familiar feeling of rising up in the face of evil and emerging victorious. And poor Krystal, I didn't think Wolf would go to such lengths at desecrating her.
All I can say is separate the dialogue, and you've got yourself something truly wonderful. Well done.
On to the next adventure!
| Justin C chapter 5 . 5/21/2011
I can tell you took several things from my story and supplemented them with your own in this chapter. Yet there were many interesting things that I didn't expect; the human skeleton, Sheja, and the fact that you had a believable explanation for why Fox was being so passive about Jim and Krystal.
Your grammar and punctuation is stellar as well; something that most fanfics lack unfortunatley. I see nothing to criticize here, it's a solid effort all around.
On to the next adventure!
| Justin C chapter 4 . 5/20/2011
I like how you took a more humorous approach with this chapter. Helps the reader forget that Jim is really the last human in existence. My interest in this story remains unwavering.
| Justin C chapter 3 . 5/20/2011
Well, I don't even think you need me to help you at this point. You're writing is very good, dwarfs my story ten-fold. my only issue is with something that I suggested before: whenever there is a conversation, separate the dialog with a new paragraph. In other words, press ENTER.
Seven chapters...hmmm, I wonder what will transpire. In all honesty I'm surprised that this hasn't gotten much attention aside from my reviews. Your story does deserve more than what I have to give.
| ArchWarrior213 chapter 6 . 5/13/2011
Wow your story is coming along nicely, but you should start a new paragraph when someone else speaks.
| Justin C chapter 2 . 4/30/2011
I know I may have sounded like I didn't enjoy the story in my review of the first chapter, when in actuality it was quite the contrary. The tension in this chapter really kept me motivated to read onward, despite it being huge walls of text. Yet there still exist silly mistakes like spelling errors and such throughout, but nothing too serious.
And I noticed you took a cue from my story with a Deus Ex Machina, which is Latin for "God out of the Machine." To put it simply, Jim instantly became powerful enough to destroy the Dark Breed by turning into Ultraman. In my case, it was a vulpine. It's a interesting thing to write about, yet most see it as a sign of a Gary-Stu character. Though you did at least hint at an "inner power" earlier in the story so it wasn't like "BOOM! I'm Ultraman!" Perhaps if you explained why he has this inner power, it might deter the bad reviewers who would use that against you.
Also, just to clarify, I don't think that I'm an expert when it comes to writing. I still have much to learn like you. I'm only offering humble counsel to one that is eager to emulate my stories.
I do like the way this story is turning out, and I hope that you'll except the advice I have to give. Really, I'm just trying to help.
| Justin C chapter 1 . 4/29/2011
Well, I'll just get one thing out of the way. You definitley have my blessing for continuing your story, though with a few things in mind;
First, it would be in your best interest to space out the text a bit more since looking at it now yields nothing but a block of words and symbols. Also when two or more people are talking in a conversation, ALWAYS start a new paragraph. It makes it much easier to read.
Second, I can tell that you took many things from my story and made it your own, such as Fox's malice toward you, gathering your personal effects before departing, and of course Krystal crash-landing near your house and then immediatley asking for you to come with her. I really don't want to sound like an asshole when I say this, really I don't, but she does take a shine to you way too fast. Just like what she did in my story. Without getting too engrossed in that detail I can sum it up with a warning: people will take that detail and turn it against you, as they did with me. They will tear down everything that your worked for in building this story and label it as total crap. But you're probably stronger-willed than I, given your background, so that might not be a problem.
Now to point out what I liked:
It's refreshing to see someone other than a nerdy kid step into the "lucky human's" shoes for once. Someone that might actually stand a chance in Star Fox's ranks.
The dialogue and narration flowed quite nicely and kept me engaged despite the familiar subject matter. You remind me so much of myself when I started writing that story, and how exhilirating it was to craft something in which YOU were the main character. And of course it was because I took a liking to Krystal and asked myself, "What would happen if I met her?" Before long I was typing away at the computer much like I'm doing now. When I finally had the guts to showcase it, most people loved it, others hated it. Eventually I finished writing it, and I somehow spawned a familiar trend in the process. Believe me, you aren't the only one who has been "inspired" by my story to write something eerily similar of their own.
I honestly don't know whether I should be happy or angry that people are spurred by something as terrible as "A Krystal Encounter", because I've been getting messages much like yours asking for my permission to write a story with the same concept. I felt flattered to say the least, but they would also fall victim to the same mistakes and traps that I found myself in; particularly with realizm. "Why don't I continue this?" you may ask. Well, I simply don't want to, for fear of the same criticisms. As for your story, I have no doubts that people will like it. If you have any questions for me, feel free to send me a message.
One last thing; be wise of what you pilfer from the original. If you believe you can make it better then by all means, but at least credit me somewhere within like the others have. And I have the utmost respect for someone in the Armed Forces, our country owes you a great debt. But in regards to your writing skills, you still have much more you can learn. But I'm willing to help if you'll permit me.
Justin C. (aka JCMasterman)