|Reviews for Voice Of The Mute Alternate Contest Version|
| Souldin chapter 1 . 8/28/2011
Once again I find that you've got a second version to one of your fanfics and thus I once again decided to review them both on the same day. I seem to be repeating myself as once again I will go down saying that I preferred the original version.
In the case of this fanfic it's down to circumstance, the circumstance being that this fanfic was written to comply with Stupendous Jimbo's contest rules and as such has lost the gripping introduction and the copy of the opening but to the end and narrated by Jigglypuff. This made it take longer to be immersed than the original which gripped me straight away. The typewriter also felt more significant when you got to see what was being typed, and reading the typed parts allowed the emotions to be projected better than it is here. Admittedly I'm also at fault for reading this fanfic so soon after reading the original. As I know what is to occur the impact of the emotions is not quite as strong as it was before and I also subconsciously distance myself from the fanfic as I keep on comparing it to the original.
Though not as strong as the original this is still a breathtaking fanfic. Not being as immersed with the fanfic allowed me to take notice of the simple but ranged vocabulary used in this fanfic which works well for it. As with the first the writing is well paced, characters are explored smoothly, and the various scenes are both touching and bittersweet. Characters feel real, their emotions as well, and the various scenes that allow development to take place are unique and entertaining.
It feels wrong of me to have the positive side shorter than the negatives but if I were to list all the pro's I would just be repeating myself from my review of the first fanfic (also negatives need to be explained in greater details than the positives). To sum up, while meeting contest rules has made this the weaker version of the two editions I still loved it every bit of it. Amazing job, keep up the great work!
| Belliadonna chapter 1 . 6/11/2011
Being completely honest, your story touched my heart. There was a definite softness to your words, a loving aura that exudes from each phrase. Whenever I read your story, and do believe me when I say I have read it multiple times, it always induces a sweet sadness in me. There's hurt and pain, but most importantly, within that there is love. A love communicable without the use of words. Beautiful. And isn't that the concept of this contest?
Although I have my own music on while listening to this, I do love the song choices you have... [I had Confusion from Mother 3 playing in the background, a sad, sad song.]
In a way our stories are the same, both of our characters found no voice when they wanted to speak, however love, the kind that needs no words in order to be understood, shines through. I now understand how extremely difficult the judges' decisions were. I thank them for the time they put into this amazing contest.
You are a very worth competitor, you really were. And would really, really, really like to thank you for the enjoyment of competing again such a top-tier writer such as yourself.
| Sweswe chapter 1 . 5/1/2011
I read the previous version and I regret not leaving a review. I am one of those horrible people who do not read a story unless it involve my favorite characters (the “pretty” characters) and yet this story managed to pique my interest, and held my interest from the first line to the last. The story was very moving and I loved how you, as you put it, embraced the task of leaving dialogue out. You did not get around it. You used it to the advantage of the story and the result is... oh, it is something above the ordinary!
I am fan of Jigglypuff from the Pokémon series. The one with a temper (haha) so I always associate Jigglypuff from SSB with that one. It might be unfair of me and it might have nothing to do with your story. What I want to say is that I liked how sweet you made her.
I could go on praising this forever and ever. I hope that you win! I was planning to enter myself (my mess of a story has made me want to break down crying on more than one occasion) so I have read quite a few of the entries.
I hope to see more stories from you. Keep up the good work!