|Reviews for Survivor|
| randomobsession123 chapter 2 . 1/2/2013
I came to Santa Carla to restart my life
Anyone who moves to Santa Carla and says this just signed their death warrant.
| vogueinnocencebeauty chapter 11 . 9/6/2012
Love it! The end of the chapter is so sweet :')
| Queen Serenity chapter 3 . 4/15/2012
Paul seems to be falling for her a bit too soon... Takes believability out. Some more interaction first would help.
| Queen Serenity chapter 2 . 4/15/2012
Your chapters could be a little longer. It's a bit unbelievable, her immediately meeting the boys... Maybe have her meet them as she's walking the boardwalk or something?
| Queen Serenity chapter 1 . 4/15/2012
Your summary was very interesting... It seems like you have some good ideas, but your spelling, grammar, and punctuation definitely need improvement.
For example, the very first word of your story, "Prolodge", should be spelled "Prologue". In the first sentence, sense should be spelled since in the context which it is used in.
Those are just a couple of the spelling errors.
Your commas have no spaces surrounding them.
You had a few run-on sentences.
Like I said, it's an interesting idea, it just needs the technical stuff fixed. If you could use some help on this, so that you can replace the chapters with fixed versions, feel free to ask because I'd be happy to help. :)
Its been at least eight years sense the gruesome one that clamed the lives of my parents and friends.
I still remember the horrible day as if it was just yesterday.
I was with my mom and dad,Eben,the town sheriff was warning everyone to stay indoors and hide.
After Eben left Mom,Dad,and I headed back home then I ran upstairs to my room and drifted off to sleep.
Then a sound of glass shattering woke me up and I ran down stairs when I heard a blood-curdling scream.
But what I saw scared me the most I saw my parents motion less with blood pooling around them,then looking up I saw a man he look about in his early thirty's but how he looked scared me.
He was pale white just like the snow,he had talon like fingernails,shark-like teeth,his eyes were just pools of it was screeching I took off running to the nearby diner where Lucy,a friend of my mom,works at.
The other thing I can remember is Stella,Eben's wife rescuing me from the vampire that murdered my parents after the attack I never saw Eben or Stella again.
| meilinun61 chapter 5 . 3/26/2012
CUTE ! No way...
| meilinun61 chapter 4 . 3/26/2012
I always wondered about Laddie & Dwaynes (if Dwayne is the one wth the long dark hair) relationship..father figure is nice..but now, wht azz hole turned him...
| Peya Luna chapter 12 . 6/6/2011
awesome ending! though im wondering how shell handle the feeding part of being a vamp im sure her, dwayne and laddy will make a cute little family - with three kick-ass uncles of course ;-) btw, i just voted in your poll: for star being pissed at gail being the new lost girl, its just so typical her, though she doesnt want to be lost/ vamp she doesnt want to see another take her place either. and if you want you could sort of connect this storyline with the other option - have a jealousspiteful star sic the frogs on them.
| Peya Luna chapter 7 . 5/27/2011
thank you so much for changing the story a bit, it makes way more sense now. im curious if gail will follow stella back to their old home or stay with the boys...personally, i dont think shell be willing to face her old memories/nightmares, but who knows? its your story, and maybe dwayne could accompany her for a while...
to be completely honest, ever since ive seen this crossover ive been hoping for a face-off between the boys and the surviving vamps from the burrow massacre. you know, have the baddies come back for revengeerase the town for good and have the boys protect their new sister/dwaynes mate. though i admit, getting all the boys to burrow is a huge stretch, but now you mentioned deniseher fiance missing...could it be that theyre hunting down the few human survivors/witnesses? if so, the bad ones would come to santa carla - problem solved ;-)
| PonyboyLover chapter 2 . 5/23/2011
Oooh your character sounds interesting. Keep Writing!
| Lostboysfan123 chapter 6 . 5/6/2011
Sorry about this chapter but I wanted to get this chapter done because It was very late and did leave out some parts sorry
| Peya Luna chapter 6 . 5/6/2011
im sorry, but i think its a bit unrealistic that she walks right into vamps feeding - which should give her horrible flashbacks - and is totally ok with it AND eager to become a vamp herself. id expected her at least to ask some questions first, like making sure the boys are a different sort of vampire then the ones who slaughtered her whole town...and im still hoping for a comment on those others from at least one of the boys.
| Peya Luna chapter 4 . 5/5/2011
seems as if things are going great between them ;-) and ive always picture dwayne as father/older brother figure for laddie, the kid is always riding with him after all.
| crimsonsky132 chapter 4 . 5/4/2011
Love it! Great start, and I cant wait until you update! This is already cought my attention Much love
| Peya Luna chapter 2 . 5/3/2011
i agree...yay new chapter AND a really good start on her new life - from ugly vampires and snow to sexy vamps and a warm beach. what else could a girls ask for? LOL