|Reviews for The One who bears the star|
| detectivejigsaw chapter 1 . 9/25/2014
It works very well. This is SO incredibly cute. There are times when I think Phoney deserves a good punch in the nose, or possibly to spend a bit of time without his cousins, and see how well he gets on. But it's good that deep down, several layers beneath his bones, he does care about them. And the idea of them getting him the shirt is very sweet.
| LightningPage chapter 1 . 8/29/2014
Wow, that was great!
| stephanie p chapter 1 . 2/20/2012
AWSOME! PHONEY BONE HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE CHARACTER. THEY SHOULD PUT THIS IN BOOK 10 IF THEY MAKE ONE ALONG WITH THE OTHER FANFICS!
| Reenie Bleenie chapter 1 . 5/1/2011
Oh, that was so awesome! Wow. You're a first-time writer? I never would have guessed.
It's great to see that another author has joined us in the happy little fandom of the Bone archive. You've submitted the fifth story on the archive. Like, ever. Isn't that exciting?
Gawd, I sound like SUCH a teenage girl! Anyway, this story is amazing. Beautiful. Wonderful splendid radiant magnificent sublime glorious lovely delightful. You pulled this off spectacularly.
Now that I've finished squealing and showing off my vocabulary...
First thing- characterization. You did great! Phoney is very well done, just how you'd expect him to act. Fone Bone is good too, and since he had few lines and stuff there isn't much to say on that besides nice job. Smiley Bone... Not that you did badly, but he isn't as bad at reading emotions as you showed him to be. Remember, Smiley likes to poke at people, likes to drive them crazy. He has to be good at sensing emotional stuff so that he knows how to not cross a line with people. He's just not very book-smart, or common sense-smart. Y'know what I mean?
Second thing-plot and setting. The plot was very well done. The story behind the star shirt was one waiting to be told, and this is a perfectly crafted tale that fits right in with everything. The setting was cool too. I think it's so fun to read a bunch of different people's Bone stories and see how Boneville seems to them, don't you?
Third thing-grammar and spelling. Okay, if English is your THIRD language, you've got to be one of the best students in the class. If you're taking a class. You know what I mean. Anyway, there were a few spelling mistakes and stuff, but that didn't take anything away from the story itself, so no worries there. One thing I did notice is that you're using an accent as an apostrophe. See, this is how a word should look:
And this is how you're typing it:
Forgive me for being so picky. This is all constructive feedback, I'm just trying to help out. :)
And just out of curiosity, what's your second language? It's very impressive that you can speak three different ones so well. I can speak SOME French, but we're talking MINMAL here. Nothing fancy.
Anyway, once again, terrific job! I look forward to reading more of your work.