|Reviews for The Path An Eevee Takes|
| WyldClaw chapter 1 . 9/11/2013
That's kind of funny that both Ben and iso's mom are a bit on the crazy side
| shoopdahoop chapter 9 . 8/28/2013
Very nice story so far. The plot is nice, the names are creative and follow a pattern i've personally used before. The only thing is grammar and I could help you if you wanted.
| autobot afterburner chapter 3 . 8/21/2013
Wow good so far and can I be a umbreon in it? my name is drew
| Amadeus Clowergen chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
I'm just getting started with this story. So far the concept sounds fine and some details are well thought out. However, as a review I have to comment that you do need to work on the spelling within your work as there seems to be a lot of errors, presumably typos, especially Glaceon, an important character. Nevertheless, I do look forward to the next chapters.
| adventuremaker16 chapter 9 . 3/2/2013
can i be in the story as a human/eevee male
| Shaystorm chapter 9 . 1/13/2013
OHH! SCIENCE! I myself enjoyed reading it, but others may find it a bit well, boring. I Really Love Science Stuff Like That Though, so thank you on behalf of the nerds who read this stuff. THIS STORY IS AWESOME!
| Shaystorm chapter 5 . 1/13/2013
Maybe you should introduce someone else with a pokemon form that they use in a contest, but if you are going to use this, i would make them younger than Ben and Iso, but has more pokemon.
| Shaystorm chapter 3 . 1/13/2013
Nice. it's not a button any more :(
| Rcforme chapter 9 . 11/7/2012
OK, forgot to post a review for further chapters, LOL! It's better here, still room for improvement on the deepness of emotions, some filler side-stories in the story (those make it so it doesn't seem rushed), and try to add a little more tension by describing tense situations in a figurative way. I'm going to try to give an example of improvement:
We slowly came to a stop by a stream. Alsatair slid off and put us down.
"Yes!", I exclaimed in pure joy, happy we were finally out of that horrible place. "We're free! See Iso, I told you we'd get out!" I smiled at Iso, still gleaming from happiness.
Iso returned a faint smile, seemingly a little unsure about something, even though I couldn't tell what. "Yes, yes you did. So what now?"
"Well, I'll be going to Sandgem Town for the contest there." Alastair stretched.
"Wait, that's where the next contest is?", I asked in a happy and curious manner. I (was Ben, try not to switch between 1st and third person, it's confusing) looked at Alastair, as she was about to answer my question.
"Yeah, it is." He confirmed what I heard, the next contest was going to be in Sandgem Town.
"I guess we're heading to Sandgem Town too then! Why don't we all go together?", I said, hopefully looking towards the others.
"Yeah sure!" Alastair smiled.
Iso's face started to look more questioning and impatient, as she said: "And just one question. Back when we first saw you and that wacky doctor guy, and he mentioned my dad's name, why had you seemed surprised?" Iso looked towards Alastair questioningly, wondering whatever could have been the reason.
Alastair started to look a little unsure, as she tried to figure out the best way to answer the question. "Well, you see… ummm… it…"
"Yes?" Iso looked with impatience, she was starting to get really anxious and couldn't wait any longer.
Still not sure about how to answer the question, Alastair just gave the raw truth: "Ummm… your Dad was kinda the guy who originally started Team Hane No Arashi…"
See the improvement? Try playing with words and see how it turns out. Always read your chapters before you post them. I'd recommend to first write a rushed version, then read it, then patch up errors and see where you can fill in some emotion and details, this will make it easier to write good stories (at least if you think normally, I'm a processor-head who could basically make a detailed emotional scene out of nowhere in seconds, and I don't even write fiction. I'm just often bored.) Also, could you tell me in a PM why you haven't updated yet, this is a story with wonderful potential. I'd recommend patching up the first chapters and the description, as this will prevent early story hate and uninterested by people who would actually like it.
| nice chapter chapter 3 . 9/5/2012
thats a funny line you use at the end ROFL lol well keep wrighting
| Random chapter 1 . 5/27/2012
You might want to try adding filler and emotions of the guys. Seems like a good story line, just needs a little more filling. Mmmhhhh, filling. :)
| DawnEspeon chapter 9 . 5/25/2012
this is really cool story. Can you try to do some back stories? It might make it easier to understand the characters. Plus, question for Iso: what did your mum do to you that made you hate her so much or vice versa.
From DawnEspeon, hopefully a future writer...
PS can you get someone to join them at Sadgem town. I will tell you my 'awesome' idea. can one of them have a sister that is turned into eevee hybrid, or whatever you call them.
't hate me Iso for that.
| Species Unknown chapter 9 . 4/28/2012
end A/N: FAIL!
| Species Unknown chapter 8 . 4/28/2012
how old is the Eevee exactly?
| Species Unknown chapter 5 . 4/28/2012
Ryu getting beat up by a BANANA of all things is PATHETIC! good story though