Reviews for Sheltered
Kizu Mizu chapter 1 . 3/18/2013
Do hope you plan to continue this. Your writing is exquisite. :)
InkOgnitO chapter 3 . 8/25/2012
The sentence "Maybe the Airstream had been an upgrade for Sasha" really stood out. It was simple; yet, very powerful. Even so, the "forked another bite of borscht" part sounded kind of ridiculous since borscht is a soup. In addition, the metaphor with the hypodermic needles and the ocean didn't have a cognitive efect on me...
InkOgnitO chapter 2 . 8/24/2012
My favourite part was your description of Payson: "tromping merrily past her physical limits." I liked the combination of the words "tromping" and "merrily", it sounded to me almost like an oxymoron, emphasizing the comprehensive personality of Payson.

And the "as Emily had proven to him, not all potential is realized" can also refer to the MIOBI series!

Well done, you're a truly talented writer.
InkOgnitO chapter 1 . 8/24/2012
Hey,
This story is amazing (at least, so far) and your writing style is simply incredible.
I'm inclined to agree with you regarding the last season of MIOBI. In fact, I couldn't force myself to watch the last episodes. Without Sasha and with that Rigo guy the show just lost its spark...
Anyways, that's exactly why it has been such a pleasure to read your interpretation of events. Your writing is almost poetic and the descriptions (for instance, "His smile slid off his face like hands slipping of the high bar on a missed release") are very vivid and original. Thanks for writing it! )
Peacelover56 chapter 5 . 6/16/2012
I hope you UPDATE SOON!
als18 chapter 5 . 4/3/2012
This is perfect! I never believed for a second that Payson wouldn't have gone after Sasha before Hungary and you are doing exactly what I wish the show would do! I know from your previous chapter that you've had some real life issues (of which I sincerely hope are going better for you!) but I hope you keep up this story because it's so much better than a lot of the others on this site :)

Best of luck and I look forward to the updates! :)
SkiCan chapter 5 . 1/17/2012
I absolutely love this fic! The first chapter in its self was amazing; the way they interact and how Sasha comes to realize his own feelings (if only partly) is was so well written. I liked the comparison between Payson and Summer in chapter 3, when Sasha responds to Payson's appearance the same way Summer later wishes he would. The parralels between Sasha and Payson's self imposed "rules" should be interesting as they play out. Can't wait to see how Payson's determination to upgrade goes along with Sasha's reluctance (and maybe some sexual tension? maybe...?).

Sorry to hear about your life altering shizz, hope your holidays were better. Life does always seem to send a hurricane instead of a light drizzle... but the sun always comes back out, so long as you hang in there :)

Hope you catch a break and update soon. Either way, wishing you all the best!
Nathascha chapter 5 . 12/8/2011
Well, an interesting chapter! Could Payson and Sasha possibly be fighting?

Seems like Sasha is trying to do his job, and Payson... Well trying to do his job to!

On the show we never get to see how the girls' routines are chosen, I find it interesting that you wrote on it.

I am a big fan of bitchy KP! Seriously she's so much fun. She's like the better version of Lauren (in my opinion), one who is lovable because not totally crazy. I'm so happy she gets to be a part of your story.

It seems your fullfiling your promises, Payson is totally focusing on gymnastics, which is good! Sometimes we nee a break from the drama!

I loved this chapter and some passages had me laughing like a maniac... Here are my favorites:

"But look at it this way, Sasha- we can't kill her when she's in Denver. Here, sooner or later one of us will snap and run her over with her own gaudy-ass tour bus. We're really just looking out for the team by keeping KP out of the Rock."

"What… is that?" Kelly Parker asked with barely veiled skepticism after Sasha had given her a brief 'Welcome to the Rock, you're now under my slave driving thumb full time' speech.

"Smooth, Sasha. Real smooth."

He patted her shoulder and let out a sigh of relief as Summer walked away. "I thought so."

Can't wait for the next chapter to be published.

Nathascha
flowerchild3286 chapter 5 . 12/5/2011
I have absolutely no problem with you changing things from Season 2. 2B made me want to scream a lot.

Poor Payson and Sasha. They need to get their acts together and just admit their feelings already. My absolute favorite line this chapter was "Is that a marginally polite way of telling me to get the hell out of your face?" It's a good sign, in my opinion, when Sasha is being snarky. Snarky is pretty damn close to flirtation.

MH
Kiwiflea chapter 5 . 12/3/2011
I've totally seen that Happy Days episode, and it's hilarious. I don't blame you for my non-photographic memory (I had to look up the word eidetic. I learned something, woo!), but mostly on the fact I'm juggling too many MIOBI stories in my alerts. I tend to get the storylines confused from time to time. I kind of like Sasha and Payson arguing. I'm hoping it's a lead into some unresolved sexual tension, which might lead into some resolved sexual tension. A girl can hope, no? Keep up the great work!
Virgo Writer chapter 5 . 12/3/2011
I love that so many writers in this fandom have such a realistic appreciation of the show. We love these characters, but we know the show has its moments. And I'm glad to read that you are doing without some of the sharks from the last episodes, I'm assuming especially the ones that made up Payson's story line with Max, which got terribly cliched towards the end there.

There is nothing I like reading better in a chapter than Sasha coaching. And you had him coaching the hell out of them this chapter. Especially Kaylie. Which is what she needed from him when she came back.

The resolutions to stay away seem to be doing more bad than good, and I keep waiting for that moment where the two of them break and all turns to hell. I'm also wondering how you're going to give Payson her vault upgrade, because she does desperately need to work up to something in the early fives at least if she's to have a competitive AA score. Maybe Austin? He does like being helpful.
flowerchild3286 chapter 4 . 12/2/2011
I'm sooo glad you posted a new chapter! I'm really sorry you've had such a horrible few months, though. I've had a few OMGWTFWHYDOYOUHATEMEGOD months myself so, while can't say I know what you are going through, I know enough to have tons of respect for you for getting through it. I sincerely hope everything works out for you and your family.

As far as the chapter goes, can I just say THANK YOU for giving an explanation for the sudden complete absence of a relationship between Payson and Sasha. That always bothered me so much in the show. Why would they go from so close to barely speaking? I'm glad you addressed that.

The lists of rules were beautiful. I especially like the symmetry between Sasha's rules and Payson's rules. Keep it up.

MH
Nathascha chapter 4 . 12/1/2011
Hello,

you said you accepted comiserating reviews, so first soory for what happened to you. Life has clearly been difficult for you, so I hope you will be able to handle all that stuff and get better.

About your story: I loved this chapter. I really loke the way your characters put their thoughts in lists, it's very pleasant to read.

I remeber that I loved the moment when Payson and Emily squealed on tv, and I still loved it in your story. It's so ... normal, I mean as a teenager I would do that a lot, I still do actually, and I love that sometimes we can see the girls as real human beings.

It seems that Payson and Sasha in your story both have grown up a lot.

I like the way they are focused on their future, what they plan promises to be interesting.

I love the way you make Payson ficus only on gymnastics at the end of the chapter, but I don't think it's an act. You said that Lauren's beam routine reavealed to Payson that she could play roles. I think it reavealed to her an unexplored part of herself. I don't feel that Payson focusing only on gymnastics should be an act, it's just a part of who she is, and she chooses to ignore all the other parts.

Finally, I'm so glad you wrote that Payson is selfish, because she is! She is completely self centered, and often very selfish. I still love her though, and I understand, I think you have to be selfish to be such a good athlete.

That was very random, I hope I still made sense.

Nathascha.

Ps: Sorry for any mistakes I made, English isn't my first language
any mouse chapter 4 . 11/30/2011
I dont even know you and im praying for you.

In my experience life delivers a massive shit storm but eventually it pretty much cant get worse so every day gets a little better. If you can end the day confident that you took every opportunity available to keep a roof up, food on the table and love your son then you have gotten through that day.

Eventually you have gotten through enough days for a month to pass, then three,then a year.
JCI chapter 4 . 11/30/2011
Wow. That might be the most horrible six months I've ever heard about. *sends virtual hugs and support* You will get through this and be stronger than ever, of that I'm sure.

Now on to the story because I want to assure you that it most definitely doesn't suck. I can't tell you the utter joy that shot through me when I got an email alert saying you updated. I absolutely fell in love with this universe you created and I'm so thrilled you'll be continuing in it.

I will just continue to rave about how much I wish these were the versions of Payson and Sasha we got post-Hungary. I was so disappointed with the way the show handled them, allowing Payson to be distracted by a boy (who wasn't even all that nice to her) and Sasha returned only to just not be Sasha. He was a shell of his former self, mooning over Summer when she got engaged to Steve a full six weeks after he left.

I know, I'm preaching to the choir.

Anyway, this was just fabulous and I absolutely cannot wait to see where you take it.
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