|Reviews for Fed|
| ForTehIrons chapter 1 . 7/5/2014
This very eloquently describes Vriska and I love it
| livvykitty chapter 1 . 3/25/2014
I really liked how you wrote this story! It gives insight into Vriska's character, and explores the delicate relationship between her and her mother. And I must ask, who, if you had anyone, inspired Nirali? Or was she just a random OC you needed to put in for the purpose of showing the beginning of Vriska's seemingly scornful view of the hemospectrum?
Also, were there supposed to be page breaks between Kanaya, Nirali and Eridan's portions? It seemed to suddenly jump between the three. Either that, or they all were connected and I just didn't notice the link. I'll go and reread.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/17/2014
Dialogue is not written as "Hello," she said or "Hello!" she said, always "Hello." She said or "Hello." she said or "Hello," She said or "Hello" she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence does contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello dumbbitch." farla grinned like an idiot, never "Hello," she grinned or "Hello," She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," she said. "This is it." not "Hi," she said, "this is it." or "Hi," she said "this is it." or "Hi," she said "This is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," she said, "is it." Also, remember that generally "said" is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, "stated" is no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?
i am fed up with ur nonsesical garbag
| Taim chapter 1 . 8/11/2013
I like this very much. It gives insight into Vriska's character and personality, as well as explaining why she is the way she is. It shows that she does have feelings and it ties in well to her future conversations with John. It's very well written and emotional, pulling out the mood in the style of the story instead of just the character's words and actions. As I said, a very well-done story!
| GingerDixie chapter 1 . 2/1/2013
Part of the Review Exchange: Exchange for Forina, Chapter Two
This is a very interesting look at Vriska and her relationship with her lusus, particularly given the fact that we really don't know much about her relationship with Spidermom besides what Hussie told us in one paragraph. We're given the impression that Vriska was mistreated and that she hated her lusus, but we often fail to see that we can't really compare troll society to ours, because it's a completely different beast altogether.
The word choice you used, such as "smelling a taste" and "the place that smelled of thinking" is unconventional, but it's used very effectively, and I love the way it works into the story, even further highlighting the way that we can't understand trolls from a human perspective. It also served for some very vivid imagery portrayal.
All in all, there's really not much I can critique on. You characterizations are spot on and all grammar and punctuation seems correct, and you did a very effective job in helping me visualize the setting and follow the situation cohesively. Well done.
| We All Need A Nap chapter 1 . 9/5/2012
this was THE SINGLE WORST STORY I HAVE EVER READ IN MY WHOLE LIFE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE THINKING, PUTTING UP THIS HORRIDNESS FOR ALL TO SEE!? EWWW! MADE ME WANT TO VOMIT AT THE AWFULNESS,.,..
| natural selection chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
I love how you wrote the bond between Vriska and her lusus. It's a pretty hard thing to do, but you did it perfectly
| Dark waffles chapter 1 . 1/13/2012
This story sucks more dick than Barney does on a good night.
| ANON chapter 1 . 11/12/2011
WELL ER. I am not very eloquent at the moment, as it's rather late and I am very tired, but I would like to say that I've been skimming your profile page on a whim, and clicked this one just to see what it was like, and ended up loving it. The words here are just... something about your prose comes together in a brilliantly concise, yet powerful way, and... argh, all the little details are just beautiful.
Also it made me think quite a bit about Equius and Vriska's relationship as neighbors, which was nice, since I don't see their interactions given a lot of attention outside of a few fics. Also you are just a splendid writer and I am definitely going to check out your Ao3!
| joebob chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
In the famous words of Dave Strider:... seriously this was really cool.
| aestheticisms chapter 1 . 7/30/2011
I rather enjoyed reading this, and it has become one of my favorite Vriska-pieces, due to the fact that it's startlingly rich in characterization for being in the third person, unlike most HS fics.
I applaud you, really.
| Remaints chapter 1 . 7/29/2011
| Liar Liar Liar chapter 1 . 7/23/2011
To begin, I like your literal interpretation of "schoolfeeding". It makes sense with what has already been established about Alternia.
One criticism I have is that you used the word "mandibles" a lot. It does seem like a hard word to find a synonym for, but I feel like you could have been more creative with that one detail.
Generally, though, I think that this fic came out really well, and is an interesting look at Vriska's relationship with her lusus.
| Paosheep chapter 1 . 5/31/2011
I really like this.
| andthenshesaid chapter 1 . 5/23/2011
This - asdjlskdfj. I just really liked this. It was kind of weird to read, because it's not like Homestruck, you know? But it was still intensely good. And I adored the end - "'Fine,' she says, and passes out."