|Reviews for Blood Donation|
| sakuuya chapter 1 . 9/6/2012
This review is once again part of my attempt to review every TMM horror story.
Ordinarily, in this project, I've been disappointed by stories that aren't really horror stories in the strictest sense of the term. But I'm torn about this fic. It's not really a horror fic for the audience, but it sure is for Ichigo.
Also, regardless of genre, I thought it was great. The interaction between your two mains was sweet and natural, and I liked the little reminders that, in the grand scheme of things, this should just NOT be a big deal for Ichigo. And you clearly did your research (or have experience) giving blood, which was really nice to see.
My one complaint is that the bit about blood donation making one a hero comes off like a PSA, and it almost turned me off the story altogether. It's not a bad message or anything, but I think it belongs in an A/N rather than having characters actually talk about it in-story.
Luckily, the rest of the story was so winning that the preachy bit was barely a blip on my overall enjoyment of the story.
| True Colours chapter 1 . 6/1/2011
Maybe it was on the forum that I said something about this fic? Anyway, here is my review. First of all, your writing has improved beyond all measure. You know how I'm always banging on about the 'sound barrier' of writing - the point where spelling and grammar are all present and correct, but the author is still using phrases like 'images of the night's horror's floated before his eyes, causing said eyes to become wide with fear,' and it is very hard to explain what's wrong with it in a review? Or maybe you don't know how I'm always banging on about it, but I am. In my head. And you have well and truely crossed the sound barrier. This prose is elegant, it's natural, it flows. Congratulations!
Your characterisation of Lettuce is equally stylish. You've successfully shown her badass side, what with the being chilled about giving blood and actually rolling her eyes over Ichigo's fainting, which even a saint like her might do, but you've managed to keep this 'badass' Lettuce firmly rooted in the shy character we know from the anime, proving that you haven't forgotten what she developed from. Like, she's fine with needles, but she's still stammering over the questions and blushing when asked if she might be pregnant *fangirl mind leaps instantly to Pai*. And these two sides of her personality are consistant with one another. Meanwhile, it's also perfectly plausible that Ichigo, gutsy on the one hand but with fears of things like haunted houses on the other, would ahve a thing about needles.
Just one or two criticisms: I doubt that the nurses would actually carry around needles dripping with blood. Not very hygenic, ne? From what I remember, they try to keep it all very sterile and contained beyond the nasty moment of actually sucking the stuff out of your body. I also noticed a little lapse in clarity in this paragraph: 'The nurse was oblidged to question Retasu as a method of judgement. Though she was already approved of by doctors as a healthy teenager, such principles had to be applied in case the donor had acquired something new recently. Some questions proved as embarrassing, noted by Retasu's blush.' 'As a method of judgement?' 'Acquired something new?' I think i get basically what you're trying to say here, but judgement of what, and the 'something new' sounded like a bit of a euphemism where one wasn't really needed. And the 'as noted by Retasu's blush' just doesn't seem to me to be the most natural way of phrasing it. But hey, the fact that I'm zooming in to this level shows that there are no big issues to address, so my initial 'well done' still stads.
Did I mention the eye-roll? Yes I did. Well, once again, I love the eye-roll. I love it when Lettuce stands up for herself a little bit, and it also makes it apparant, in one little gesture, that they've all grown up a bit since the time when the anime was set. On a side-note, well done for having the self-control to write a oneshot focussing solely on the relationship between the girls, without any fangirly romance thrown in (apart from the pregnancy-blush, which I'm going to interpret how I like). Oh, and it is spot on characterisation-wise that Lettuce would be the type to give blood.
P.S. You can no longer get rid of the screeen-flicker thing by rolling down your message. What is with that? So I basically just typed the last part of this blind.
| FictionalSandbox chapter 1 . 5/26/2011
SabaSabaSaba, I didn't realise that you weren't on my Alerts list! I would've read this long ago if I'd known about it! *derp*
What can I say? I loved it. It was cute, realistic, and totally hilarious. I think it might be my new favourite fic by you - it's fantastically written. :) Well done! 10 out of 10.
| IceJK chapter 1 . 5/7/2011
lol _ dat was class :P
| easternrose21 chapter 1 . 5/7/2011
I love it, Sa!
Haha, poor Ichi. ; I've wanted to give blood before... But I have to be seventeen I guess? ;